05 February, 2024
Q
Salam Alaikum wa rahmatullahi ta'aala wa barakatuh. My situation seems so complicated to me that I don't know how to make it better. I actually met my husband a few years ago. I was not a Muslim back then and my husband is a Muslim (but he doesn't pray). We were living a life of sins, going out, partying and stuff. He insisted on getting married but I had reservations as my parents divorced when I was very young and it complicated my whole family's life. Therefore, I never wanted to get married.
I also felt that our relationship was already so complicated for some reason that maybe it wasn't the best idea, but I didn't want to leave him. (I thought he was really good in the inside even though a lot of his actions and temperament worried me is some way), so I said yes and we got married.
I reverted to Islam gradually and now I feel I should persevere to please my Lord and my Lord only. The issue is, my husband doesn’t seem to encourage me. On the contrary, he encourages me to do some haram stuff. Due to his way of life before meeting me, I don't respect him. He says he's Muslim but I feel that he doesn't try to be a better person and it frustrates me.
Before marriage, he was talking about God, about Islam in a very good light, but now that I know what Islam is, for me, he doesn't seem to implement anything from the Sunnah, or the holy Qur'an. He doesn't work a lot and when he has a free day he sleeps past midday. I try to tell him (in an encouraging way even though it is difficult because of my frustration) to have a healthier lifestyle but he doesn't listen. He is very stubborn. We have trouble communicating; every discussion stops at a dead end.
When I try to tell him that I would like him to help me more with the house he doesn't care. It seems like he doesn't care about my feelings. It is a hard situation for me as I would appreciate some support I feel I don't get from him. He is not bad too me, not at all, he rarely gets upset with me but I feel that maybe it is because he doesn't care at all.
He is not responsible in any way, with money, with his time, with his attitude. I would like to know if you have any advice for me to make my marriage easier for ME (because for him, everything seems so indifferent or easy). I often think about divorce but I'm afraid of it. Barakallahu feek.
I also felt that our relationship was already so complicated for some reason that maybe it wasn't the best idea, but I didn't want to leave him. (I thought he was really good in the inside even though a lot of his actions and temperament worried me is some way), so I said yes and we got married.
I reverted to Islam gradually and now I feel I should persevere to please my Lord and my Lord only. The issue is, my husband doesn’t seem to encourage me. On the contrary, he encourages me to do some haram stuff. Due to his way of life before meeting me, I don't respect him. He says he's Muslim but I feel that he doesn't try to be a better person and it frustrates me.
Before marriage, he was talking about God, about Islam in a very good light, but now that I know what Islam is, for me, he doesn't seem to implement anything from the Sunnah, or the holy Qur'an. He doesn't work a lot and when he has a free day he sleeps past midday. I try to tell him (in an encouraging way even though it is difficult because of my frustration) to have a healthier lifestyle but he doesn't listen. He is very stubborn. We have trouble communicating; every discussion stops at a dead end.
When I try to tell him that I would like him to help me more with the house he doesn't care. It seems like he doesn't care about my feelings. It is a hard situation for me as I would appreciate some support I feel I don't get from him. He is not bad too me, not at all, he rarely gets upset with me but I feel that maybe it is because he doesn't care at all.
He is not responsible in any way, with money, with his time, with his attitude. I would like to know if you have any advice for me to make my marriage easier for ME (because for him, everything seems so indifferent or easy). I often think about divorce but I'm afraid of it. Barakallahu feek.
Answer
Salam ‘Aleikom dear sister,
Alhamdulillah, Allah (swt) has guided you to His path and you are doing all you can to implement it into your life. Unfortunately, your husband, who was born in a Muslim family, does not seem to be encouraging you in the best possible way.
Alhamdulillah, you have done the best thing reaching out for advice which is always a good thing before considering divorce.
Seeking advice and assistance is always the first step making sure you have done all you can to make the marriage work, especially as in Islam marriage is viewed with high regard….
In the rest of the video, you will learn about:
– How to encourage a non-practicing spouse to get closer to the religion
– What you need as a convert Muslim in such a situation
Salam,
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