I am advised to still go into the marriage despite what he said.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- You are not obliged to marry anyone if you do not want to.
- Take time to consider the pros and cons and the potential good and bad consequences either way.
- Take it to Allah and ask for His guidance. Mark a decision and then make istikhara.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,
You are not obliged to marry anyone if you do not want to.
This is even if your whole family says that you must. Ultimately, it is your decision.
However, if you have a close family network that you trust and they think he would be a good suitor for you, particularly because he is religious, then you should at least give it some thought and consideration before outright rejecting it.
Take time to consider the pros and cons and the potential good and bad consequences either way.
It is a huge decision and commitment, so it certainly needs time to really sit with your options and make the decision that’s best for you.
Keep in mind that other family members that you can trust know you well and will be able to judge the situation in a way that might be difficult for you, so it is certainly worth taking into consideration their thoughts too.
Of course, this still doesn’t oblige you to accept the proposal, but it is something to keep in mind when making such an important decision.
Take Your Time and Seek Guidance
Do not rush. Take the time you need to really think things through.
Take it to Allah and ask for His guidance.
Mark a decision and then make istikhara. You might even write down the pros and cons, put them aside, and then revisit them again after some days to see if you still feel the same.
When you are feeling absolutely confident in your decision, have consulted who you feel comfortable discussing it with, have taken it to Allah, and have thoroughly considered your options, then move forward with your response.
Taking time to give such consideration to this important matter will allow you to put forward your response comfortably, with no regrets, and without ever looking back and wishing you had made the other decision.
May Allah grant you a righteous spouse that will bring you happiness in both this life and the next.
May He guide you to make the decision that is most pleasing to Him and you regarding the current matter.
More from Hannah Morris:
- When to Declare Our Marriage to Parents?
- Parents Oppose Daughter’s Marriage, Any Advice?
- How to Get Out of My Forced Marriage?
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