Answer
Salam alaikom dear brother,
Thank you for sharing your concern with us.
You say that you have been going through a lot of hardships and it makes you sad and depressed that you were not granted some great opportunities to get your family out of their struggle.
As a result, you have given up and started to earn haram money, although it makes you feel more hurt and depressed as you do not want to “go more down”. You smoke weed to ease your mind.
Brother, I understand your struggle and I am really sorry for your situation.
Certainly, sometimes our patience and perseverance are tested and we feel stacked in a situation.
No matter how hard you try, you face closed doors. This can be very frustrating. It is also frustrating when your plans do not work out for some reason.
What Can You Do?
Well, certainly the solution is not to choose the path that Allah dislikes and prohibits.
Both issues, earning haram money and using drugs, will not solve your problems, even if you experience some kind of sudden relief.
Give Up Smoking Weed
I would start with the issue of smoking weed, because you have to understand that it might not be the root cause of your depressed state but certainly a contributor to it.
Cannabis is also an intoxicant and, in the long run, has multiple harmful effects on your physical and mental health.
It can also lead to addiction, which can worsen your depression and negative feelings about your situation.
Furthermore, according to the research of Imperial College London, UCL, and King’s College London, “long-term cannabis users tend to produce less dopamine, a chemical in the brain linked to motivation.”
In other words, long term cannabis smoking could also be responsible for the lack of motivation and for not having an interest in pursuing one’s goals.
So, first of all, I would advise you to give up on this drug. It is not only prohibited in Islam, but it can worsen your depressive symptoms, such as sadness and feeling down.
Besides the immediate side effects of marijuana abuse, the long-term ones include mood swings, lung infections or other breathing problems, panic attacks, and worsening symptoms in those with schizophrenia.
You can suspect addiction if you are unable to cut it down, despite your willingness and the negative consequences for your well-being.
You do not detail your consumption pattern, but if you think that you are addicted to it, please, check out a center where your addiction can be properly treated.
Check out this Muslim Recovery Network Program, or call the Muslim Youth Helpline, and they will direct you accordingly.
This first step is essential to moving on and starting to work on your well-being.
Haram Earnings – No Barakah
You said, brother, that you have started to earn haram money as you are “tired of struggling and being let down.”
Well, brother, this is something again that might cause you some temporary relief but definitely won’t help you in the long run, either economically nor psychologically.
I think there is no need to detail that what is haram is haram, and if you are clearly aware that this is something prohibited, you have to make an effort to stay away from it. Check out this article about the sources of barakah.
However, I know that this situation can be more complex than this, especially with regard to where you live. In non-Muslim majority countries, something really simple, like working in a restaurant or in a grocery store, could be a real challenge.
I know that it might be really difficult to find certain jobs without the involvement of some haram or at least doubtful activity.
Especially if you are an employee and have no control over the dealings of your company. The same applies to workplace settings, business transactions, and relationships.
But this does not mean that there are no possibilities for Muslims at all. It also depends on what your priorities are. And your first priority should be to please Allah and do things for His sake.
Brother, it would be very important to strengthen your connection with Allah, especially through learning about Him.
Who is He, the Creator? What do His Names mean, one by one? Try to reflect upon what His Power really means. Involve yourself with more prayers and focus on your heart.
There is a hasan hadith, narrated by Abu Huraira:
“When the believer commits sin, a black spot appears on his heart. If he repents and gives up that sin and seeks forgiveness, his heart will be polished. But if (the sin) increases, (the black spot) increases. That is the Ran that Allah mentions in His Book: “Nay! But on their hearts is the Ran (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn.” [83:14] Sunan Ibn Majah 4244
You need to let yourself rely on Allah and on His guidance and believe that He is ar-Razzaq, the Provider and Sustainer.
Letting yourself be guided means that you are also ready to take action when it is about changing direction.
Decide for Change and Take Action
It could be a new course, a new type of job, you have never thought about. It could also be giving up certain habits and expectations that are impeding your progress.
Try to be flexible and ponder your possibilities and what you really would like to do. You can try to speak with a career counselor who can assess your capabilities and direct you towards your goals.
You do not detail what haram money earning means in your case. But if your income is clearly haram, and even if it involves other haram actions (like, for example, selling and trafficking drugs), you need to stop engaging in it.
Brother, as long as you are engaging in sinful acts, your repentance will not ease your guilt and sadness. There is no room for improvement, until you change your conditions and decide to start a new life.
You Can Do It
There is one more thing that could be very important in order to feel better about yourself.
You have to believe that you are worth doing something more valuable and that you are also capable of doing it.
If your self-esteem is healthy and you have confidence in your capabilities, your overall well-being will improve, and you will feel less sad and depressed.
You said in your letter that you wanted to get your family out of their struggles. This means, brother, that you have a strong sense of responsibility to help your family, masallah. But make sure that you are not feeling guilty about something you have no control over.
Conclusion
Brother, give up using drugs, and relying on haram income. Repent, ask forgiveness from Allah and decide that you start a new life phase.
Ask support from counselors, if needed, whether regarding your addiction, your career or your mental health. Strengthen your connection with Allah, and you will be guided.
Finally, here is a dua you might find beneficial:
“O Turner of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your Religion.” (ya Muqallib al Quloob thabbit qalbi ‘alaa Deenik)
I wish you success.
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