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I Feel Stressed Around My Toxic Father

05 March, 2022
Q I have the guilt for not sharing my feelings. Due to this, I'm stressed. What should I do?

Growing up in a chaotic household with verbal and emotional abusive exchanges between my parents since I was 6, I have been extremely stressed. They were separated when I was 12 on my mom's denial over her nafkah with a mantra of 'no money or no stream of income despite his stable job.

My father left us, leaving us to survive on our own without caring about how we live. Now in my late 30s, I recently discovered that he has been hoarding assets without mentioning them to us. I feel betrayed and denied for having to believe that 'we are poor', we have 'no money and 'no income'. I feel numb because it is hard to digest the horrible memories. How should I handle such situations? I find it stressful every time my father is around.

Answer

In this counseling answer you will hear:

Seek face-to-face counseling.

If your parents want you to disobey Allah, then no, you cannot be obedient to Allah.

Stay close to Allah.

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.