Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
As for the custody of children after divorce, daughters should remain with their mother until they get married. As for male kids, they should remain with their mother until they reach the age of puberty, and then shifted to their father in order to get acquainted with the traits of manhood.
Answering your question, we would like to state the following:
Marriage is indeed a sacred bond that brings together a man and a woman by virtue of the teachings of the Quran and the Sunnah. Thus, each partner in this sacred relationship must treat the other beautifully and properly.
A man must not divorce his wife to bring harm upon her. This constitutes an act that demolishes this noble establishment, breaks the woman’s heart. This also possibly separates the woman from her children without any reason.
Thus, the separation between a man and his wife [without just reason] was one of the major and grave sins, and one of the most beloved actions of Satan. It is also impermissible for a woman to ask for a divorce without a sensible reason.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
“Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah.” (Abu Dawud)
The spouses should avoid divorce as much as possible. If they have difficulties and problems, they should try to work out their differences. They can seek help from their relatives, friends or professional counselors. Also they should consider and think of the future of their children and the destructive effects of divorce on their children’s future.
However, if the differences are irreconcilable then divorce is permissible, but it should be done in a decent manner.
In this regard, Allah Almighty says: {When ye have divorced women, and they have reached their term, then retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. Retain them not to their hurt so that ye transgress (the limits). He who doeth that hath wronged his soul. Make not the revelations of Allah a laughing stock (by your behavior), but remember Allah’s grace upon you and that which He hath revealed unto you of the Scripture and of wisdom, whereby He doth exhort you. Observe your duty to Allah and know that Allah is Aware of all things.} (Al-Baqarah 2:231)
The Prophet (PBUH) says, “No harm shall be inflicted or reciprocated in Islam.” (Malik)
As for the custody of children, we see that daughters should remain with their mother until they get married. As for male kids, they should remain with their mother until they reach the age of puberty, and then shifted to their father in order to get acquainted with the traits of manhood.
May Allah guide you to the straight path and direct you to that which pleases Him.
Almighty Allah knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.