Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Please read our relevant answers from our scholars under Ask the Scholar.
• Brother, please do examine your family traditions for Christmas. Does it include shirk or religious acts?
If so, you cannot participate in those activities, but you can participate in the rest of the activities with your family.
• Brother, if you are comfortable with your ability to stand firm in Islam and to stay away from haram things that may be at your parents during the holiday, you may want to reconsider your stance.
• Additionally, if you do change your mind and go, you can always attend a masjid near the home for spiritual uplifting.
• If you feel that it is absolutely not an option for you, you may wish to explain to your parents that you are uncomfortable due to the religious nature of Christmas but would enjoy spending with them after the holidays.
As Salamu Alaykum,
Thank you for writing to us. Congratulations on your reversion to Islam! Alhamdulillah.
You have taken a big step in your life which will bring you huge blessings insha’Allah.
May Allah bless you, guide you and grant you ease as you start your new journey in Islam.
There will be many situations in which you may feel conflicted, but know there is no compulsion in Islam.
Islam is a religion of balance, compassion, and ease. Allah does not want us to strain our family relations.
In fact, the family is highly important and valued in Islam and we are to do things to encourage and maintain loving relationships, this includes non-Muslim family members.
Our participation in our family life is precious and encouraged unless it involves sinful or haram actions.
Recently Reverted to Islam
As you recently reverted to Islam, there is a lot of knowledge to learn as you know.
At this point, this may be your first holiday season as a Muslim.
It is not surprising that you are not wanting to be part of the celebrations.
I can imagine dear brother that you may be worried about being around, or falling back into idolatry, or Christian practices.
This chance, however, is quite slim if you are strong in iman and understand the Islamic rulings that Allah has set forth.
You just need to understand what is truly haram and what is not as a new Muslim.
For instance, during family celebrations, families may take turns praying to Jesus (Isa PBUH).
You cannot do this as it is shirk. Other family members in religious celebrations may attend Christmas church services.
Brother, please do examine your family traditions for Christmas. Does it include shirk or religious acts?
If so, you cannot participate in those activities, but you can participate in the rest of the activities with your family.
View on Holiday Celebrations
There is a varying degree of views on whether or not to participate in family celebrations when one is a Muslim and others in the family or not.
Some families do break bread and have a meal with their family members who are not Muslim during their holiday seasons and celebrations such as Christmas.
They also include their family members for Eid celebrations and iftars during Ramadan.
Some Muslims have found this is a nice time to do dawah. Some agree that there is no harm in partaking in some of the festivities as long as one is grounded in their Islamic faith and identity.
This would include not participating in Acts of actual worship such as performing Christian prayers at Christmas.
Others see no issue in gift-giving, cooking, or eating with family during the holiday.
In fact, we are commanded in the Quran to keep family relations.
AboutIslam states that ’Muslims are allowed to share with non-Muslims in their joyous occasions, wishing them happy holidays, even send greeting cards to your Christian friends, relatives or neighbors.
If they give you gifts, you should thank them and accept them with good cheer and should also remember them at the times of Islamic holidays.
Therefore, there is nothing in Islam that prevents you from being with your family during Christmas, at least to show them that you are part and parcel of them even after your conversion to Islam.”
As we can see, Islam provides mercy and balance when it comes to all things.
In the case of a reversion to Islam, we can still participate in some of the Christmas festivities as long as it is not a religious act.
Balance in Deen
Brother, we are to be balanced in our religion and way of interacting with others.
We are also commanded to not cut off family. While not going to your family home for the holiday is not cutting them off, surely they will be hurt and confused by this.
They may even begin to blame Islam as the reason for your staying away.
This may set a bad precedent for their keeping an open mind for learning about your new religion, Islam.
They may feel that As a new Muslim you may want to keep away from anything that could be a temptation to you including Christmas. This is very understandable.
However, please know that there are other schools of thought which include the stance that having family meals and even the exchange of gifts is not Haram.
As you are a new Muslim, you may want to consider all points of the theological perspectives concerning being with family at Christmas.
You may wish to re-examine your decision insha’Allah.
You may want to think about possibly hurting or alienating your family due to your not being there when Islamically there is no reason why you cannot be with your family during the holidays.
Based on the Qur’an, it states“Keep their company with kindness in this world and follow the path of him who turns to Me.
Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you did.” (Luqman 31:15)”
Therefore it is advised to ’ ’accept invitations from your family, share their happy times with them, and eat any kind of permissible food with them, which excludes pork, intoxicants, and that which has been dedicated to idols.
Also, you should not participate in any religious rituals associated with non-Muslim beliefs.”
To Go Home or to Decline Family Holiday Time
Brother, if you are comfortable with your ability to stand firm in Islam and to stay away from haram things that may be at your parents during the holiday, you may want to reconsider your stance.
Additionally, if you do change your mind and go, you can always attend a masjid near the home for spiritual uplifting.
If you feel that it is absolutely not an option for you, you may wish to explain to your parents that you are uncomfortable due to the religious nature of Christmas but would enjoy spending with them after the holidays.
Conclusion
As you are a new Muslim, there are many things you will learn as well as teach to others, insha’Allah. May Allah guide you.
Please do reconsider you’re not wanting to be with your family during the holidays.
There is no reason why you cannot be with them. You can particiapte still, you just cannot partake in their religious services or offerings.
If you remain rigid, this may also give your family the idea that Islam is rigid, harsh and promotes breaking of family ties and times-which it does not!
You do not want your family to get the wrong idea about Islam dear brother, so please, insha’Allah, do some more research on the subject before committing to a ’no”.
We wish you the best.
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📚 Read Also: Struggles of a Convert Muslim at Christmas Time
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