Saturday, Jul. 29, 2017 | 13:00 - 15:00 Makkah | 10:00 - 12:00 GMT
Session is over.
Dear Brothers/Sisters,
Thank you very much for joining us in this Live Fatwa session. We would like also to thank our guest, Sheikh Kifah Mustapha, for answering the questions directed to him. You will find the answers of your questions below.
As salaam Aleikum !The reason I am asking the following question is because you people can understand scholars and I believe some of you are?. I have young 17 yrs old daughter and I will be soon be discussing "Nikkah contract and polygyny". If I myself cannot comprehend something what can I explain & make her understand? No issues with Islam but with scholars things do not add up especially when it comes to" Muslim women right’s they are in books only! not allowed to be excised that's where i believe all our daughters will be lost! Need right, proper procedure, rhetoric& solutions within Islamic frame work to enforce it in practice from our scholars, as among them are also the " ONES WHO DEAL WITH OUR PERSONNEL PAPER WORKS "BASED ON OUR FAITH. Why do scholars give hard time to the first wife if she want o take herself out of equation when her husband takes second wife using “Valid reason" what is valid reason ? The most common answer we get is 1) Beating, negligence, not providing etc 2) It was not stipulate in the Nikkah contract etc. As. as long he is good and provides she is trapped to stay. Why the scholars do not understand even most of the sisters are not perfect but are really good wives too! People can be good in marriage but things cannot work out every one has preferences/choices too. Prophet's wife Zainab who was his cousin too ,left her husband( prophet adopted son) not because he was not a" good man/human" but that was not what she wanted for her ? it was considered valid reason! ' status" looks etc" is not valid reason to leave someone( may Allah forgive me) it was Zainab"preference. Loved that she got what she wanted. Correct me if I am wrong ,there is another situation where Prophet requested a women freed slaves with children to take her husband back as he was having hard time I believe she replied something like this "O Prophet are you taking away something (rights) that Allah has given to me? There are many first wives who does not want to take her Allah swt given rights from her husband of having more wives at the same time she dos not want to be part of it. if a women feel what goes around cannot come to her with so much diseases going around and also that's not the lifestyle she wants to be in. She should be given hard time.Most of the time the man want to keep the first wife not because he loves her but the second wife will not take care of his first wife kids and if the first wife marry and move on everything fall in his head so I feel the husbands & scholars want her to do the sacrifice under the beautiful blessing" Jannah lies under mother feet and it requires sacrifices"etc jzk for that but do not use it to your convenience. My father I beleive was not in love with first wife at all just humane. His first wife did not agree for divorce as she had two sons with my father that was her decision. My father promised my mother2nd wife before marriage to divorced her once married I am one among his second wife daughters from my point of view it left scars in both the wives children's. All the the kids hated our father marriages.but everything for justified by everyone in the name of islam. You cannot have affair then marry using islam it should done in an arrange marriage way informing everyone not permission no secrecy.Marrying means announcing too everyone right! Brothers are getting away with few preaching and yelling. Coming from environment where on one hand women are told islam gave women the rights ,women's are precious so be in hijab etc and other hand when it comes to polygyny. brothers have the mind set your sister is fair game for me and mine to you the rhetoric and jokes are acceptable even the well known scholar do its disgusting. . From taking care of in-laws is made FARD and the scholars are biased because all deed & pious are only for women. .Voluntarily doing good deeds is different from coercing and forcing! Even Allah swt given rights to what a women can stipulate in Nikkah contract is taken away by her own father and brother who should be protecting her rights and choices the pressure is too much for young girls due to culture where if she stipulate anything in the contract she will be considered as having not family oriented. big mouth etc Women's are not groomed to be leaders in our community always made them doubt their decisions from own family men. If the scholars are worried about immediate reaction from wives why not allow them to take "Khula" so leaving an opening if they decided to go back to their husband later? giving women the choices to make rather than brothers making for them. let us make mistakes just like our brothers & learn and bow down in front of Allah swt. I do not believe two wrongs make it right either.Women are born to men too! Male cannot be females role model but we can inspire each other on human level I always told my daughter that what a women/man says, does his deeds should not be used to judge Allah swt love for you nor allow it to come between Allah swt and her. jzk Salaam to everyone/.
Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
You have made many points that I agree with about how some scholars are handling marriage issues not in the best proper way it should be.
In short, Islam did not force any spouse to stay in a relationship if they decide not to. The man has the right for divorce and the woman has the right for Khul`.
Both husband and wife are asked not to let go the marriage for simple reasons but rather to practice patience on each other.
Taking a new wife is a decision that a husband should understand that he might be gambling with his first marriage. No woman would like her husband to take another wife. So the equation was fair deal;
The husband has right to take second wife..
The first wife has right to ask for divorce because of that.
This is part of the term (Al-Ba’s) that the Hadith referred to, meaning with no legitimate reason. The prophet (peace be upon him) did not specify what the legitimate reasons were. Each person can declare what is Al-Ba’s for him based on moral understandings, personal capabilities and social statuses.
It is though the job of every Imam or scholar to talk to the husband about the possibility of quitting the second marriage if he is to lose the first family. And also talk to the first wife of the possibility of trying to accept such status even for a period of time and see how it goes and decide if she can stay or must ask for divorce.
Allah Almighty knows best.
I am a student who was looking for a part time job. i need this job because I have interest based debt from the bank that I have to pay and get rid of. Now finally after over a year of searching for jobs I found a part time job at Subway and I am working there part time. The restaurant is owned and managed by a non Muslim and all my co workers are non Muslims, and sometimes as I make sandwiches some customers ask for bacon or pork related products etc but obviously these customers are non Muslims. dealing with pork is not that common in my job maybe out of every ten sandwiches I prepare and sell there are two to three that have pork products, sometimes none. so is my job haram or not, Thanks.
Touching pork is not Haram, it is filthy and if touched, hands must be washed. Now what is Haram is that making money directly by selling pork or working as an employee and your payroll is from an income that has pork in it is indeed partially Haram.
The prophet (peace be upon him) said: Allah if made something Haram, income out of it is Haram too. (Ahmad)
In your case, you must look for another job that is pure from any income that includes Haram.
By the time you find that job and you must work to pay extreme necessities of life like rent, food, etc. you can keep your job and donate some money you think equivalent to that portion of Haram income to purify your income.
Allah Almighty knows best.
Assalamualaikum. My wife is neither obedient to me nor my mother. She does not want to talk to me or my mother. She almost uses to sit in her room with our only son. Before 2 months she left me and is with her parents. I went many times there but they did not respond to send her there. They want her to be divorced but I love her very much so I cannot do that. Our only son is also with her. She always misbehaves with me & my mother. I am the only male with my un married sister & my mother in my family with no any helpful relatives. It is impossible to divorce her because I love her very much. I fulfill almost all her demands/needs. I am living a very hard life without both of her & my 2 years son. I tried my best many times to make her aware about the rights of each other but all in vain. Please tell me what I should do?
Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
In such cases, your only option is to send someone from your family like an elder or an Imam to try to ask to reconcile with each other and that you are ready to go with her for any counseling needed if it was religious or professional. It seems that she also might have complaints against you and for that she is not willing to communicate with you or ask for divorce.
If such efforts went nowhere, then you must be ready for that which Allah the Almighty does not like; divorce.
Allah Almighty knows best.
I think this is a little too open but I was wondering if I am allowed to rub my wife's clitoris when she is in her menses? Do I need to use any gloves or is it not acceptable during menses?
As for the spouses seeing each other’s private parts or area, there is no prohibition. As a matter of fact we have narrations that both the prophet (peace be upon him) and `A’ishah used to bath in one big bowl.
As for touching each other private parts or area, there is no prohibition.
In your case, you have to understand that the blood is filthy and if not washed will not permit you to perform prayer. Also some scholars declare that touching the spouse’s private area will revoke wudu’ so keep that in mind.
On a final note, such an area in a female is usually referred to in an intimate relationship and it is not permitted to be touched during menstrual period for that purpose of intimacy. I am not sure what necessity is needed for her to be touched during her period for any other purpose?
Allah Almighty knows best.
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