In this counseling answer:
• Remember, Allah never burdens a person more than he can take.
• It is always easier to be happy and grateful when you have it all. But it is during the tough time you are truly tested for your appreciation and remembrance of Allah.
• Start spending time with people who are positive and religious.
Assalamu Aleikom brother,
I appreciate that you wrote to us about your concern and tension. I will try my best to assist you, InshAllah.
You seem very angry and exhausted. I can understand that you might feel like Allah does not listen to you and with you. It is ok to sometime feel tired of everything and hopeless. Its normal. Even if you feel like nothing is going your way, it can be worth waiting for the right time for some things, and other things might never happen as they are not good for you.
Frustration & Anger
Life is full of frustration and disappointment, we all experience that. Not everything goes according to our plans and wishes, and then we become so frustrated and angry.
Frustration is an emotion that gets triggered when we do not get what we desire. When we are angry, we usually give up. It is not healthy to always be frustrated and angry, as it can affect other aspects in your life, such as being unproductive and positive in any situation.
Allah loves us
You are depressed, and things might seem grey and dull in your life at the moment, that’s a natural feeling to have when you are upset. You should always remember that no matter what hardship and conflict you are going through, Allah is always there for you to listen when you ask Him for something. You might not get everything you want straight away and as quick as you like, but Allah loves you and He never burdens a person more than he can take. Never give up hope, as your sadness and frustration cannot last forever, it will get better, inshAllah. Allah says in the Qur’an:
“Verily, with the hardship, there is relief.” [Qur’an, 94:6]
Allah puts us in test to see how close are to Him, because He loves us. If we pass the test we get relief. Some people get tested for a longer time than others. You might be the person who is very close to Allah and He wants to test you for a bit longer to see how you do it. Remember, the most tested people were the Prophets.
We are humans, and we get disappointed easily when we cannot accomplish something. However, this does not mean that our Creator does not listen to us. He is always there for us and knows better what is good for you.
How many times we want something so bad, but it is not given to us. We feel sad and frustrated, even angry. Then later, maybe years later, we understand and appreciate Allah’s wisdom in not granting you what we desired before.
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We live in a time where things are very easily available and can get accomplished without much effort. However, there are always some things that need more effort and extra work to get fulfilled. If life was just a walk in the park, then it would be too boring and repetitive. So, Allah has put some trials along the way, to see how strong we are in difficult times.
It is always easier to be happy and grateful when you have it all. But it is during the tough time you are truly tested for your appreciation and remembrance of Allah.
Sometimes Allah puts you through trials to get you closer to Him. Maybe this is a way of Allah to make you remember Him more. I know it may be hard to understand, but I am sure He will ease your heart and mind of tension once you ask from the depth of your heart.
Prophet Muhammad (May peace and blessings be upon him) said : Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala said: ‘’I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.” -(Sahih Bukhari)
So, the closer you go towards Him, the closer He will come to you. The more you drift apart from, the more you will feel helpless and alone.
Surround yourself with good people
It is not good for you to stay depressed and negative about your situation. It can affect your wellbeing over all. It can have very bad effect on your life in general.
I would suggest that you start spending time with people who are positive and religious. They will influence you in a good way. It may help you to become more relaxed and happy.
Sometimes, we overthink things and it causes so much tension and frustration. So, it is always a good idea to find people who can boost your confidence and give you some positive energy.
Start keeping yourself occupied with sports and other halal activities. Spend time with family, read Quran with meaning, pray Salaah with khusu’, and you will inshallah find peace within yourself.
May Allah ease your tension and remove hatred from your heart.
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