Answer
Salam (Peace),
Thank you for sending in your question to our website.
I am sorry to hear that you have been crying and that you have been hurt by this philandering Muslim boy.
His abominable behavior of befriending (and more) one girl after another (or several, simultaneously), having casual flings with them, and then leaving them with their hearts broken is totally against Islam!
In Islam, a Muslim, be it a man or a woman, is not allowed to have such casual relationships at all, not even with the “pure” intention of getting married later if things work out.
Allah (God in Arabic) says in the Qur’an (the holy book in Islam and the final revelation from God to humankind):
{And do not approach adultery, for, behold, it is an abomination and an evil way.} (Qur’an 17:32)
Friendships, flirtations, and casual relationships with the opposite gender, whether textual or in-person, are considered a means that lead to adultery, and hence, they are totally prohibited in Islam.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) forbade young, single Muslim men from even following the first, accidental look at a woman with a second, intentional one. He forbade them from ever touching or being alone with a woman.
So, what can be said about talking flirtatiously with a girl, with the intention of having a relationship with her? The Muslim guy that you spoke to for 9 months has gravely sinned, not just by having a relationship with you for 9 months, but also by two-timing you and the other girls, by breaking your hearts, and by leading you on (i.e. deliberate treachery).
At this point, I would like to highlight a fallacious social double-standard that is prevalent in some Muslim cultures around the world. Some single Muslim boys (and even married men!) consider it socially and morally “acceptable” to lead non-Muslim girls and women on, and to have casual love affairs with them, with the intention of dumping them later.
But for marriage, these same boys and men want only chaste and virtuous Muslim girls and women as wives.
This is in total and complete contradiction to the tenets, commands, and rules of Islam! Please beware of being lured into such a relationship in the future.
Muslim scholars gave the advice below to a non-Muslim woman who was romantically involved with a Muslim man:
If this man is sincere in his love for you, then let him prove it by marrying you. As for proving that by going out together to watch a movie or to a restaurant, none of that is proof of sincerity of feelings, so do not pin your hopes on it. Even if non-Muslims do that and women accept it, Islam forbids it and does not approve it, and it warns women against being fooled by it. (IslamQA)
Finally, even though what happened to you is undoubtedly very painful for a girl to experience at such a young age, I would like to point out one thing. Sometimes, in life, good things come about as a result of, or due to, unfavorable and hurtful happenings and experiences.
Getting your heart broken after this hurtful abandonment must be very painful, but it can lead you to something wonderful.
Your contacting us on this website could be the one great positive outcome of the deception and heartbreak that you endured at the hands of this Muslim guy because it can prevent it from happening to you in the future and it can help other unsuspecting non-Muslim women who may read this.
Also, it can be a great opportunity for you to study Islam, read the Qur’an, and try to find out for yourself what believing in and following Islam really means. You have the opportunity to turn this hurtful experience into a wonderful learning opportunity.
Allah knows best. I hope that this answers your question and that Allah mends your broken heart.
Salam. Please stay in touch.
Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:
https://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/in-focus/women-islam-special-folder/