CAIRO – Breaking down barriers in her society, a Muslim woman is arranging a speed dating event in her café in Melbourne, inviting non-Muslim men and women to ask Muslim women about their faith and their culture.
“The idea is in keeping with the spirit of speed dating, the open heart and mind that’s necessary to get to know another,” Chef Hana Assafiri, owner of Moroccan Deli-cacy cafe in Lygon Street, told The Age newspaper.
“A bunch of Muslim women sit opposite non-Muslims, for an hour, and you can ask them whatever candid question you want, in the hope that this can go some way towards developing a more sophisticated dialogue, instead of a divisive, simplistic one.”
In a bid to dispel myths around Muslims and to create a more cohesive society, Assafiri arranges forum for non-Muslim men and women to ask Muslim women about their faith and their culture.
Every fortnight at 3pm on a Sunday, Muslim women gather at the restaurant while Assafiri offers her free coffee, tea and famous Arabic pastries.
Arranging the event, she encourages attendants to ask questions while pertaining to mutual respect.
“Nothing is off the table, and your questions can absolutely be frank and candid,” Assafiri says, The Guardian reported.
“The only requirement is that we are all respectful. Respectfully, we can ask why people wear the hijab, do they sleep in it, do they shower in it.
“The point of this exercise is to break down the divisions that exist in this simplistic environment that only seeks to demonize and further marginalize Muslim women.”
She makes it clear that speaking woman only offers her point of view and does not speak for Islam or Muslim people as a whole.
“There is nothing sacred about the abuse of women within Islam,” Assafiri said.
“If anybody puts forward a view that accepts the oppression, violation or subjugation of women, then that needs to be interrogated and rejected.”
New Understanding
Exchanging opinions with Muslim women for the first time has changed the understanding many non-Muslims had about women in Islam.
“I will never look at Muslim women in the same way again,” Maria Dimopoulos, a diversity and gender equality consultant, recalled a man saying to her as he was leaving the first speed date event.
“He had thought they couldn’t think for themselves and all just obeyed their husbands. He was proven so wrong,” she told The Guardian.
Dimopoulos said she had her own questions for the women.
“I had wondered whether Muslim women wearing a hijab in some way compromised feminism,” she said.
“And what I’ve learned is, of course it doesn’t. It adds another dimension to feminism, it can be empowering.”
Hanifa Deen, a Muslim author and editor of Sultana’s Dream, an online magazine written and produced by Muslim women, blamed media for marginalizing Muslim women.
“The media automatically goes to the men for comment, they ask the imams to talk about Muslim issues,” she said.
“People don’t ask women. We need to bring out the Muslim women.”
Amid increasing challenges, every Muslim woman had her story of being verbally or physically abused on the street.
Sareh Salarzadeh, a school principal, recalls having a beer can thrown at her car window while driving and another time when a motorist tried to ram her off the road.
“We can’t wait for a Martin Luther King or a Gandhi to address the divisions in our society,” Assafiri says.
“We must address it at the micro-level and take personal responsibility. Maybe we’re not reaching the anti-Bendigo mosque types, but we’re creating a model of starting genuine conversations that can be taken around Australia. We’re creative and we’re brave and we’re trying.
“And people can always learn more, can always be more sincere and more authentic.”