May Allah reward you for serving the ummah. Shaykh It is been a year since I have started attending mosque and praying regularly. Alhamdulillah I have a beard and trying to follow all the basic principles of Islam. However, I am in a relationship with a girl for last 1.5 years and to be honest I wasn’t that religious when I started this relationship with her. Please don’t think I am hypocrite I am really committed to my religion it is just that she is quite attached to me and if I leave her now it will have adverse impact on her education considering the fact she already had a year gap. But the thing is our parents won’t allow us to get married as we are quite young and I have not started earning yet. Nevertheless, as she doesn’t want to leave me and so I was thinking of marrying her without her parents’ consent. I follow Hanafi madhaab and if I am not wrong a woman can get married without her guardian if that man is suitable for her. I really don’t want to continue this haraam relationship but I feel like I am being compelled as she loves me a lot and doesn’t want to lose me. I have completed my graduation recently and currently doing a postgrad. My parents are financially affluent but they won’t allow me as they will think I don’t have a established career. But what should I do?? I am already an OCD patient and this has led me to become religious and If I am being rejected to enter Paradise just because of this I will be the biggest loser. Therefore, to keep in contact with her I am planning to get married without letting my and her parents know about it. Therefore I really want to know whether the marriage will be valid according Islamic shariah? I don’t care about what my parents think if my Allah is happy with it I am ready to do this marriage. Please help me
In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving,
Peace and blessings be upon His noble Prophet Muhammad.
As you have already admitted that your current relationship is haram, I shall not comment on this point. Now, the first thing you have to do is to sever your relation with her until things are settled in a legitimate way.
The only way to legitimize your relationship is to prepare yourself for marriage responsibilities and then propose to her family. Although your parents’ approval is not a must for the validity of your marriage, still you need to seek their consent so as not to be disobedient and ungrateful to them.
Regarding the girl, the majority of scholars maintain that a Muslim bride has to have a wali (guardian) in order to conclude the marriage contract. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A woman who marries without her wali’ (guardian)’s permission her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Al-Tirmidhi)
The Hanifite school’s position regarding this issue is remarkably weak as it stands in opposition to such an unambiguous prophetic verdict.
If her family refuses, you can do nothing else. Man proposes, but God disposes. If you really want to please Allah, you have to resist your passion, follow the legitimate ways, and believe that the outcomes are in His Hands alone. He knows best; and whatever he decrees for both of you will be much better than what you think of.
Almighty Allah knows best.
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