Q:

Salaam alaykum warahamatullahi wabarakatuhu. First of all I would like to thank you and compliment And commend you for all your good works and responses.

However I will like to ask if ALLAH has indeed created on us in pairs. Why is it difficult for some people to find their own pair and spouse even after praying and praying whilst some folks that didn’t pray that much just found easy to get a good spouse?

A:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

The verse which states that Allah created us in pairs does not mean that everyone will indeed be necessarily married. We know several prophets and great scholars and imams in Islam, as well as saintly women from early times until the modern times, have led celibate lives, some of them by choice, others by not finding suitable marriage partners or other reasons.

So, you may do well to continue looking while praying to Allah. Most of the time, we set such high standards and high expectations while looking for a wife or husband with the result, we end up getting none. I know this as an Imam who has served the community for over four decades.  I had a large file of marriage applications; the vast majority of them ended up finding no marriage partner mainly because they were waiting for a doctor, a professional engineer, or a lawyer or someone who makes big money. However, they would tell you initially all they are looking for is a good Muslim. However, the real intent is different. I am so sorry to say they never got married. That is the main reason why the majority of Muslim youth today remain unmarried. If they were realistic and looked for the criteria that the Prophet taught us, the issue would be rather straightforward: He said, “when a person of sound faith and character arrives to marry him. Otherwise, you are paving the way to corruption in the land.”

So, I would advise you to be realistic in your expectations and keep trying to find a marriage partner based on the above Prophetic criteria and pray to Allah.

Almighty Allah Knows best.