Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh ,

 

This is a difficult scenario for you as younhave many nerds of others to meet whilst also taking care of your own. You are responsible for you wife and children, but also for your parents. Of course as you say,  whilst it would be ideal if everyone could live under one roof and your wife help out with your parents it would be ideal.

 

But, it is not uncommon for wives to dislike this idea and prefer to have their own space and demand their own rights to be fulfilled. You as a husband must attend to everyone’s need,  but this is understandably a difficult challenge, as it is for many men. However, there are ways that you can deal with this to try and make it is easy as possible given the situation you are in.

 

Firstly, working with your own situation could work out to be more ideal if you can get the cooperation of your wife. This is best done through a process of compromise in such a way that you can both have your needs met. Perhaps you could talk to her about the difficulties of maintaining what she would like to help her see things from your perspective. Help her to understand how you are feeling. Likewise, take time to think about how she feels. She has children to take care of an naturally as a grown woman would like her own space as well as the mental space to be herself.

 

Perhaps, between you, you could arrive at a compromise where you could provide her with living space of her own as she desires, but ask her if she can help out with your parents. Perhaps she could go to their place for a short period every day or every other day to help out with cooking and cleaning.

 

If you have provided her with her own space as she has asked for she may be more willing to comply with your requests too. Let it be known toner that you are not expecting her to be their full time carers, but that you would appreciate her help on a reduced level compared to what it was before whilst living in with them. It be that simply having her own space makes her more willing to do this as she has the requirement that she has been seeking.

 

Do also understand that to take care of anyone is a lot of hard work. Taking care of children and parents can really take its toll, so make sure to also give her the love and support she needs during this time. This will improve her own wellbeing that she will be in a better condition to perform such duties and it will therefore be less of a burden to you. This will also contribute to making your life less stressful in the knowledge that the needs of everyone is taken care of which will be reassuring for your own wellbeing too.

 

Additionally , if you cant afford to bring someone else to come and help out with your parents, is there anyone else in your family who can? Any siblings that could become involved for example so you can share tasks between you.

 

May Allah ease your affairs and bring you comfort, happiness and success in this life and the next.