As salamu alaykum brother,

 

Shokran for writing to our live session.   I am sorry to hear that your mother has been slapping you in the face (with a slipper).  This is unacceptable.  You did not indicate whether or not she has slapped you before and it is a pattern; or if there are other forms of abuse going on in the home. I am sorry dear brother that you are going through this. It must be very hurtful to you as her son.

 

Allah does not want us to Abuse each other

 

I would kindly advise insha’Allah, to try to speak with your mom as to why she slaps you and what behaviors or attitudes does she feel are aggressive. Often times by talking things out, things can be resolved.  You may wish to discuss what the Qur’an says about family relationships, violence and abuse.  If she is unwilling to talk or becomes agitated, I would kindly suggest that you seek out family counseling if it all possible to resolve these issues. As Muslims Allah does not want us to abuse harm or hurt one another, especially family members.

 

Seek out Help

 

It may be that your mom is going through something and taking it out on you. That in no way excuse her behavior nor condones it-but it may be an explanation for her aggressive behaviors. I will kindly suggest brother that you try to stay in situations where you will not have direct confrontation with your mother until you have resolved this situation.

 

You may wish to engage other members of the family to help you work this out. I will kindly suggest you speak with your father or another adult member of the family who can assist you with getting to the bottom of your mother’s behavior. Insha’Allah, they will be able to intervene (along with your efforts) to end this behavior and/or get the into family into counseling.

 

At the very least, perhaps they can assist in getting your mom into counseling.  In cases where there is not severe abuse but just a slap once in awhile, it could be that your mom is very unhappy. Something may be bothering her and as stated, she is taking it out on you. This must stop. It must be addressed professionally insha’Allah if talking to her and family interventions do not work.

 

Hurt and Rage

 

Brother, you may also need counseling as well.  There is a  statement in your question that is of concern because it is so absolute. You stated that you have decided that you will “beat her” if she slapped you for the third time. Brother is that something that you would really like to do? Or are you just very hurt, and your heart is turned into anger and rage? At any rate please do not lay a hand on your mother. Do not slap her nor harm her in any way. To do so would be a grave sin and would also probably come with legal consequences.

 

Aggression and Hurt

 

In your question, you stated that your mother slapped you because she said you were being aggressive. You stated that you were humming when she slapped you and afterwards you just remained quiet. Perhaps she is seeing something that you are not seeing because at the end of your question you did state you will “beat her” if she slapped you for the third time. That is aggression.

 

I will kindly suggest dear brother that you also look at your feelings and behaviors as well. Often times when one has been abused or the victim of aggression, the hurt becomes so intense it turns into anger and rage.  Please make Dua to Allah to help you control your emotions and your feelings regarding wanting to harm your mom. While she should not harm you either, you are the one who is responsible for your response.

 

Seeking Counseling

 

If you cannot get assistance from family and she refuses to go for counseling to address these issues, I will kindly suggest you consider living with a relative or elsewhere to avoid a tragic occurrence. Given that you do have this hurt and rage inside of you (you feel you will beat her or you’ve decided to beat her), I kindly suggest that you get ongoing counseling to address these thoughts and feelings. It could be that you have been going through this for a very long time and you’ve reached the end of your rope with it. That is understandable.  However violence is not the solution brother.

 

Please do seek counseling to professionally deal with this situation before something worse happens.  You and your mom do love each other very much brother.  It is worth the efforts to resolve this situation as quickly as possible.

 

You are in our prayers we wish you the best.