Assalamu’alaikum wrb.

Recently, I have a fear that the girl I have a crush on is spying on me with sihr that can make her read my mind. I first thought about this like a month ago if I’m not mistaken. Now my question is not whether or not it’s possible, but whether or not this can be considered paranoia, negative thinking or irrational fear. Gradually, the worry/fear get worse, I started to worry whether or not she can actually read people’s mind even without sihr, and eventually to the point that she is all-knowing…. (astaghfirullah)

Now it is important to note that I am not 24/7 stresses or depressed or overwhelmed with that fear. It’s episodic.  And it appears that it gets less severe. However, my questions are:

1) Am I experiencing paranoia, or is it just an overwhelming fear?

2) Everytime that thought came, I try to not think about it. My question, is ignoring those thoughts the same as I stop believing in them, or just simply not to dwell in them (like I still believe in them, but choose to ignore it)?

Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh brother,

Whether or not this is a case of paranoia, negative thinking or and irrational fear, the fact that it is causing you so much distress at times is cause for concern even if it is not something that affe ts you 24/7 because it could be something that eventually causes you more serious issues where perhaps you become over focused on the last point of your first paragraph relating to the potential feeling that she is ‘all knowing’ and this becomes something that takes you away from Islam because as you know Allah is the only one who is All Knowing and we cannot and should not attribute this to anyone else.

From an Islamic perspective, the way to deal with such thoughts is to continually seek refuge with Him from Shaytan, remembering Him at all time throughout the day and increasing you acts of ibadah so get even closer to Allah and push Shaytan away. This way thoughts such as the latter will be gradually reduced.

From a psychological perspective there a several of ways to deal with such thoughts. At present you try to push the thought away and not dwell on them. This is one way that can be successful in dealing with such intrusive thoughts. However, sometimes using this method can only make such thoughts and feelings even stronger. For example, think of a random object and then for 5 minutes try not to think about this chosen object. After 5 minutes ask yourself if you truly succeeded. The truth is the object probably popped into your mind multiple times! Often, the more you try to suppress a thought the stronger it becomes.

Alternatively, you can instead pay attention to the thought. You can do this in a couple of different ways too. One technique suggests that you simply pay attention to the thought and don’t try and push it away. Allow yourself to think it and feel it, give it your attention, accept it as a thought and then let it pass. Repeat the same every time the though arises. Don’t judge the thought it any way, just simply allow it to pass.

In the other hand, you can pay attention to the thought but do pass judgement on it. Pay attention to it and analyze it in depth. Ask yourself how likely it is that your thought is true? Could she really be reading your mind? Not likely, but even if she could, what’s the worst that could happen? Is she really the ‘all knowing’? Of course not because only Allah is. Is she really spying on you with sihr? Not likely, but possible. What’s the worst that could happen if this was the case? And what can you do about it? Simple, you can protect yourself from sihr by taking the matter to Allah by always remembering to say your morning and evening adhkar. Make sure to to do this every day then place your trust I. Allah and no harm will be able to afflict you as a result of sihr. This way whether you choose to truly believe your thoughts or not, you will be protected from the potential harm of them.

Experiment with these different methods of dealing with such thoughts until you find which method works best for you and in sha Allah you will find yourself in a much stronger position to manage your thoughts successfully moving forward.

May Allah protect you from harm guiding you on the straight path to the best in this life and the next.