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Looking for a Spouse

Asalamu Alaikum,

Congrats on your conversion and a warm welcome to Islam!

InshaAllah, Allah will grant you a righteous husband who will be a partner in your journey to achieve nearness to Him in this life and the next. The best way to go about finding a righteous, respectful husband is to talk to the Muslims around you. Go to the imam of your local masjid (mosque), let him know you wish to be married, ask for his help, and tell him what you are looking for in a spouse. The imam will most likely know of brothers who are seeking marriage and he will know a bit about them, at least he will know whether they attend pray regularly. 

Talk to other sisters and ask them to get their mothers and aunties involved in finding someone who is right for you. Most Muslim communities have an established network of sisters and brothers who are always looking to help good brothers and sisters get married. If you do not have a community near you, you might want, if you are able, to drive to the closest one on Fridays and meet sisters and talk to them about your desire to get married. They can help you out and probably will be quite eager to do so since they will be rewarded for helping a fellow Muslim in such a way. 

Even though Muslims matrimonial sites work for some, If I were you I would be very cautious in pursuing this path in finding a spouse unless you meet the person, and meet his family, and ask around about him from the people in his community. Catfishing is not just a non-Muslim phenomena, and it is all too easy to deceive someone from behind a screen.

Also keep this asking around about his character in mind for anyone you consider as a potential spouse online or off. It sounds strange to a Westerner to check a potential romantic interest (as a husband will be inshaAllah) out by asking around about him, but this is a common practice in Muslim communities. Character and manners are so important in a relationship and essential to being a good Muslim. And those who have lived, studied, and worked with and around your potential spouse will be able to speak to his character and manners. Do as much research as you can about your rights in marriage and who you are getting married to and inshaAllah, Allah will grant you the best partner for you. Also don’t be dishearten by failed attempts either. It could be that Allah is saving you from something bad and has someone better planned for you. 

Check out these articles for more info:

http://www.aquila-style.com/converts-corner/new-muslimahs-marriage/79579/

http://aboutislam.net/multimedia/videos/context-womens-rights-quran/

http://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/living-islam/advice-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage/

http://aboutislam.net/family-society/laying-foundations/cultural-baggage-multicultural-marriage/

I hope this helps. All the best. Please keep in touch if you have further questions. Walaikum Asalam.

Thursday, Jan. 01, 1970 | 00:00 - 00:00 GMT

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