Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam brother,

 

As we know, Islamically, it is OK for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim (as long as she is a “person of the book”, a Christian or a Jew), so you are within the limits of Islam to begin with, in sha’ Allah. It is, however, very important to raise the children as Muslims.

 

In an interfaith marriage like you are in this will obviously prove to be a big challenge, as you are aware of. The reason it is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman and not the other way round is because the children are to follow the religion of their father. Therefore, any children born in such a relationship would follow the deen of Islam.

 

You have been married for 5 years to the woman you love, and so just expecting you to part without further discussion would be irrational. Thus, you have done a good thing to reach out for some advice to start with.

 

The first thing you might like to start with is a discussion between you and your wife about religion, at a deeper level. Help her to see the truth and ask Allah (swt) to guide her to the path of Islam. You say that you are not as religious as she is, so perhaps you could do some study of Islam together and unveil the beauty of Islam to her by educating her about it. Of course, only Allah (swt) can guide people, but you can help open her eyes to it and pray that Allah (swt) will guide her.

 

In the best of circumstances, she would become a Muslim, and you can raise Muslim children without a problem. If she doesn’t accept Islam, at least after further discussion and study she would be more aware of the teachings of Islam and, therefore, you could create an environment that’s more conducive to an Islamic upbringing.

 

However, be aware that the dangers of this are that even if the children are raised as Muslims, if the mother remains as a practising Christian, then they will potentially be influenced by her as their primary caregiver. This is something to keep in mind. It may be possible to raise children in a mutual environment with the focus on a belief in God (swt) and turning to Him and praying to Him as this is something all people of the book do – Muslims and Christians alike. But this could potentially limit their full understanding of Islam.

 

Whilst it is important for us as Muslims to also understand all the other religions, we also need to ensure that we remain true to our deen.

 

Additionally, you can pray Istikharah. Ask Allah (swt) to guide you to make the right choice in your relationship – a choice that will be best for you, her, and the children.

 

The important thing is that you discuss the issue very thoroughly before making a decision whether to move forward and have children or not.

 

May Allah (swt) guide you to make the best decision and bring you contentment in your choice and future.