As-Salamu ‘Alaikum sister,

 

Bullying is no doubtedly an unacceptable behaviour and should not be tolerated. Of course, bullying on any level hurts so there is no wonder why you are feeling distressed about the situation. Alhamdulillah, Islam teaches us many ways in which we can deal with this type of behaviour.

 

Firstly, remember that you are not the one that is accountable for her behaviour, but you are accountable for how you respond to it. Allah (swt) sees her attitudes and behaviour and judge her by her intentions and actions, so you don’t need to worry about responding back in a negative way. If you keep in mind that Allah (swt) is the most just, then you can find comfort in the fact that her behaviour is not going unrecorded.

 

You must also remember that whilst He (swt) will judge her for what she is doing, He (swt) will also judge you, so it is for you to respond in the most appropriate way. Allah (swt) tells us in the Qur’an to respond with evil with that which is better, so at the very least, simply not responding to her at all, and not rising to her insults is responding to an evil act with something that is better. It will show Allah (swt) that you are being patient and controlling yourself during testing times by not responding to her, especially in terms of guarding your tongue which we are told is one of the most difficult parts of our body to control. By remembering Allah (swt) in your transactions, this will become a whole lot easier.

 

What makes the situation all the more difficult is that she is involving other people too by spreading false rumours. However, those that are good people amoungst them will know that whatever she is saying, whether they believe it or not, is backbiting and is unacceptable in Islam and will reject what she is saying anyway. This is a useful way for you to also know which of these people are good and not by how they respond to an act that goes against the principles of Islam, so amongst all the negativity, there is some benefit in it.

 

May Allah (swt) keep you strong in these times of distress and bring you comfort in the knowledge that you are responding in a way that is pleasing to Him (swt).

 

Salam,