As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,

 

The way you feel is a natural response to the kind of loneliness that you have been experiencing as a result of your current situation. Naturally, you will have a hard time feeling like you are living a fulfilled life, despite having many things to occupy your time when there is no spouse in your life, especially when you see all your friends occupying their own time with a spouse and children. In addition, you live in the West where life is very different to that of in a Muslim country where there would be more support for people in your situation.

 

It sounds like you have given up on the prospect of even getting married because you feel that you are too old now. Well, sister, let me reassure you that you are not. Certainly there is a stigma around getting married at a later age, but there needn’t be, so I would certainly recommend given that we are told that we should marry from an lslamic perspective for so many reasons. One of those reasons is to provide that sense of companionship you are missing in your life, that you at least look into it, either through friends or at your local mosque as it is likely that there will be someone close by who is also seeking to get married and who may be a suitable match for you.

 

You might also think about starting a new hobby or studying something new. You say your time is occupied with various things, but you don’t get this sence of fulfilment. Aside from marriage, another way to accomplish this sence of fulfilment is to learn something new. There comes a huge sence of satisfaction in accomplishing something new which is different from your usual schedule of interests and activities.

 

Also, remember that you do a wonderful thing by taking care of your aging parents. It might feel very wearing for you at times, but Allah (swt) has told us to take care of our parents in their old age like they did to us as children, so ma sha’ Allah, this is a great thing you are doing even if it doesn’t feel like it. You should find a sence of a satisfaction knowing that you are successfully obeying Allah’s (swt) commands, unlike many others living in the West.

 

May Allah (swt) help you to find comfort in your life and feel content with all He (swt) has blessed you with. May He (swt) make it easy for you to find a good spouse if this is how you chose to proceed.

 

Amin,