As salamu alaykum,

 

Thank you for writing to our live session. Brother, it sounds like you may be experiencing sleep paralysis or a type of anxiety although I cannot say for sure and only your doctor or a therapist who assesses you can make a determination. I can imagine, brother, that it is a scary feeling. A lot of people fear that paranormal entities or demons are involved with sleep paralysis but some research has shown that it is related to REM (rapid eye movement) phase of sleep when we dream the most. Sometimes during dreams we may try to wake up, but our body has turned off all of our muscles during REM. Thus if we awaken during this phase we will feel “paralyzed”. This is a sort of atonia. “Normally your brain causes your muscles to relax and be still as you sleep. This is called “atonia.” Sleep paralysis seems to be when this atonia occurs while you are awake.” (1)

 

While sleep paralysis is a harmless occurrence, it can be scary. If you are afraid or have difficulty adjusting to these experiences or are losing too much sleep because of them, please do consult with your doctor. A sleep study may be needed in case these occurrences are related to narcolepsy, sleep apnea, or other disorders.

 

In order to help reduce incidences, WebMD suggests the following: Improving sleep habits — such as making sure you get six to eight hours of sleep each night, Using antidepressant medication if it is prescribed to help regulate sleep cycles, Treating any mental health problems that may contribute to sleep paralysis, and treating any other sleep disorders, such as narcolepsy or leg cramps” (2).

 

As far as the issues with marriage, agreeing to marriages or “making” someone agree to a marriage, I am unclear. I am not sure if these are things you see/hear/perceive during sleep paralysis or if they are events going on in your life and home.  In either case, as you know as Muslims we are free to marry who we chose as long as the person is Islamically acceptable. No one can force another to marry.  In fact, that would make a marriage invalid.

 

Brother as you mentioned two different -but possibly related themes (sleep paralysis and marriage), perhaps you are thinking of getting married or someone is pressuring you to?  Please do evaluate this. It is possible that worrying about something, having nightmares about it and/or trying to escape it in your dreams (trying to wake up in REM), may be (in part) the reason for your sleep paralysis.  However, if these episodes are frequent please do consult with your doctor.

 

We wish you the best you are in our prayers.

1. http://sleepeducation.org/sleep-disorders-by-category/parasomnias/sleep-paralysis/overview-facts

2. https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/sleep-paralysis#2