Asalamu Alaikum,

Thank you for trusting me with your question. Congratulations and welcome to Islam! May Allah continue to guide you and increase your family in blessings. Ameen.

While it is very good for your husband and you to go to the masjid and pray and eat iftar with the community, it is also important that you meet each other’s needs as a family. Many new Muslims feel very lonely during Ramadan, which is supposed to be a special time for community and family.

If you were born into a Muslim family, I would tell you to let him go and spend time with other family members. But since you are a new Muslim, this is probably not an option for you. New Muslims lack family members who are Muslim and also feel isolated from their community. Alhamdulillah, you seem to be well integrated into your community. But I can understand how you would still feel the need for family time. This is essential.

There needs to be a balance between communal life and family life. Islam is all about balance, taking the middle path, and not going to extremes. You have a right to your husband’s time. So wanting to be near and spend time with him is not at all a sign of having weak faith. It is not only your Islamic right but also important that he spend some time with you at iftar, in the month of Ramadan, as you establish your faith and traditions in Islam, especially since he is your only Muslim family. If you have kids this is even more important. Children also have rights to their father’s time.

With that being said, you should be gentle in approaching the issue since his heart is attached to the masjid and this is a very, very good thing. Perhaps tell him that you wish to have him home for iftar at least one (or two?) days a week in order to create good family memories in Ramadan.

Don’t try to force him by saying this is your right, but ask him with manners, bringing up the idea of having good Ramadan family memories so your family will think back fondly on Ramadan and look forward to the next year.

Gently remind him of his responsibility to his family and establishing an Islamic home and inculcating love of the month of Ramadan and closeness between you for the sake of Allah. And also encourage him to attend the masjid on the days he goes to the masjid. That way he will see you are not just trying to keep him from the masjid, but you only want to spend time with him.  Since Ramadan is almost over, you can have a relaxed conversation about your Ramadan plans for next year, insha Allah

I hope this helps. Please keep in touch if you have any more questions. Salam.