Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. 

 

You have made many points that I agree with about how some scholars are handling marriage issues not in the best proper way it should be.

 

In short, Islam did not force any spouse to stay in a relationship if they decide not to. The man has the right for divorce and the woman has the right for Khul`.

 

Both husband and wife are asked not to let go the marriage for simple reasons but rather to practice patience on each other.

 

Taking a new wife is a decision that a husband should understand that he might be gambling with his first marriage. No woman would like her husband to take another wife. So the equation was fair deal;

The husband has right to take second wife..

The first wife has right to ask for divorce because of that.

 

This is part of the term (Al-Ba’s) that the Hadith referred to, meaning with no legitimate reason. The prophet (peace be upon him) did not specify what the legitimate reasons were. Each person can declare what is Al-Ba’s for him based on moral understandings, personal capabilities and social statuses.

 

It is though the job of every Imam or scholar to talk to the husband about the possibility of quitting the second marriage if he is to lose the first family. And also talk to the first wife of the possibility of trying to accept such status even for a period of time and see how it goes and decide if she can stay or must ask for divorce.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.