Wa `alaykum as-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

Let me answer your questions in their respective order:

 

1- The appearance of white discharges at the end of the period is an indication of the expiry of the menses. You should determine the end of your period based on your regular pattern of menses. The pattern may vary, as some women experience menses for seven or eight days, while others may experience it for less or more. Once you see the clear white discharge at the end of your regular pattern, you need not worry about the streaks of blood after. If, on the other hand, the white discharges did not appear, then the blood drops you experience are due to continuation of menses –unless the bleeding exceeds fifteen days.

 

The Prophet’s wife Aishah –as reported in the authentic sources –counseled menstruating women to wait for the appearance of clear white discharge to mark the end of menses.

 

We further learn from Umm Atiyyah: During the Prophet, peace be upon him, women did not pay any attention to the brownish or pinkish streaks of blood, following the expiry of the menses (as determined by the appearance of clear white discharge at the end of the period).

 

Therefore, you should wait for the clear white discharge to appear at the end of your period before you make ghusl. If you do not see it, then you ought to make ghusl only if your bleeding exceeds fifteen days. The cut off point for the period is fifteen days; so what one experiences afterwards cannot be reckoned as menses; rather it is due to the chronic condition known as istihadah. In the case of istihadhah, you ought to perform ghusl at the expiry of the period of menses (fifteen days is the maximum ). Once you do so, you only need to wash your private, wear a pad and perform wudhu immediately prior to each salah.

 

2-  I do not know the source of this ridiculous ruling comes from: it is at once loathsome and an abomination. Sexual intimacy between spouses is an act based on mutual consent and feelings of affection. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us to engage in sexual intercourse after foreplay. So, to contemplate having intercourse with one’s dead wife is at once repugnant to reason and sound teaching of Scripture. May Allah save us from such warped interpretations.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.