Wa `Alaykum As-Salamu Wa-ramatullah Wa-barakatuh.

In most cases, when a spouse describes the other spouse complaints, we read only the effects but not much the causes. What you have listed about your wife are concerns from her side in what it seems to be a trust issue.

 

Of course, as an Imam I do not like to advise anyone of divorce at all but rather try to reconcile with her and keep the family together. Here are my tips for you:

 

1- Choose a time when she is in a good mood to talk seriously about this relationship and it’s affection on you and the kids and what things you can do about it.

 

2- Start with the basic rights in Islam, that as a husband you owe her good treatment and average Nafaqa or financial support. She owes you to obey you as long as you do not tell her something Haram or against Islam.

 

3- Try to have her talk what is the reason she does not feel happy. Is it about herself like feeling overwhelmed? Is it about pressure raising kids and keeping up with marriage duties? Try to have her speak her mind so she can help you help her.

 

4- Be patient yourself. People are living hardships on all levels. You need to see your wife as you are going to support her not just judging her for her moods or attitudes.

 

5- If you were able to figure out the real origin of the problem, try together to put a plan and a timeline to measure the actions taken and progress to fix things.

 

6- Finally, if you really thing she is suffering some mental health issues, ask her if she can be checked by a psychologist or even psychiatrist.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.