I ask Allah to provide you with success in your life and the Hereafter. I will answer your question by mentioning a few points:

 

1. A Muslim wife’s obedience to her husband does not mean that a woman becomes the slave of her husband. It is not a synonym to oppression either. She attempts to admit his leadership as being responsible before Allah for his family and to better help him get the family to Jannah.
2. Obeying husbands is a divine command.
3. Obedience of a husband must not contradict the obedience of Allah. A wife must not commit something unlawful or disliked just to please her husband.
4. A Muslim woman must respond to her husband immediately in case he wants to share bed with her as long as she does not have her menses or suffer from a disease. In case she does not love to do so, she must sacrifice some of her pleasures to respond to her husband. The reason is that if she does not respond to her husband’s rights, it may cause him to commit unlawful acts.
5. A Muslim woman should not leave house without seeking prior permission from her husband and she is not allowed to receive anyone he does not like at his house. The Prophet said, “Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like.” (Muslim)
6. A Muslim wife cannot obey her husband at matters which fall beyond her capacity and capability. Allah says in the Quran, “Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” (Al-Baqarah 2:286)
7. A husband has a lot of responsibilities that he must do before asking his wife to obey or listen to him. A husband cannot ask his wife to obey him in matters which fall within his responsibility. He cannot ask her to work for affording family with basic needs. It is the sole responsibility of a man.
8. A husband cannot harm his wife physically or emotionally by just asking her to obey him.  The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “No harm should be inflicted or reciprocated”. (Ibn Majah)