Wa-`alaikum as-salam

 

I fully understand that it is not easy to forget but since there is no possibility of connecting to him, you have to be a little bit more patient. What you suffer from is `Ishq. According to Ibn Taymiyah, “`Ishq is an extreme love which exceeds necessary bounds.” He further said, “`Ishq is a psychological disease and if its effect is strengthened against the body, then the sickness in the body becomes either mental illnesses and that is why it is a sickness of whisperings, or physical illnesses of the body like a weakness and anorexia etc.”

 

He further stated that: “It is from the illnesses which corrupt the Deen of the one who has this illness.  Then, it can corrupt his intellect, and after that his body. If the heart has love for Allah Alone taking religion sincerely for Allah, then fundamentally it is not trialed with love for other than Allah, more so than being trialed with `Ishq. Whereby if a person is trialed with `Ishq, then indeed his love for Allah alone was deficient. This is why as Yusuf loved Allah and took the Deen sincerely for Allah, he was not trialed by it.  Rather Allah said: “Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, guided slaves.” (Yusuf 12:24)

 

If you are able to get married to this person within the boundaries of your families, you should start taking steps to do so. This is the healing remedy for ‘Ishaq. The Messenger of Allah said: “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.” (Ibn Majah)

 

If it is not possible you have to fully convince yourself of being despair of reaching this man. You must stabilize yourself that it is almost impossible to get married or to have relation with him. If it is still ineffective, you should contemplate on the great atrocities that `Ishq may bring to you. First of all it will draw you farther from Allah and let you taste deprivation from His light and mercy. If it is still ineffective, you must remember the evil and bad things in this man. It may drive you away and think of how Allah kept it away from you. If all those attempts fail, you only have one gate that never closes day or night.  You must keep knocking by reiterating sincere supplications at the depths of nights to make you forget him and concentrate in the Most Great. I am sure He will not turn you away.