You have prayed istikharah and did your utmost to meet with him and to draw closer to him but it seems that most of the circumstances are not convenient for you and for him. Satan always attempts to insinuate in the heart of a believer to make him sad by regretting some events that happened for him in the past. You must be sure that you will get married to your husband who is destined for you.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “A strong believer is better and dearer to Allah than a weak one, and both are good. Adhere to that which is beneficial for you. Keep asking Allah for help and do not refrain from it. If you are afflicted in any way, do not say: ‘If I had taken this or that step, it would have resulted into such and such,’ but say only: ‘Allah so determined and did as He willed.’ The word ‘if’ opens the gates of satanic thoughts”. (Muslim)

Almighty Allah knows best.