Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi  wa barakatuh sister,

 

From what you describe it certainly does sound like you are experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder. Whilst I cannot make a formal diagnosis, I would strongly recommend that you do seek help for this. I understand that culturally disorders such as bipolar are not accepted,  or very much frowned upon, however, this is simply due to cultural misconceptions about what these disorders are or what they are caused by.

 

It is unfortunate that such stigma exists regarding these issues because as you can see it is having such a profound effect on your fail life effecting both your friendships and most importantly, your Deen it is for these reasons that I would encourage you to seek further help. If you find it difficult to seek face to face assistance due to the potential for family and friends to find out, you might look online for ongoing counseling or even support groups.

 

This gives you the forum to speak to professionals who will be able to provide ongoing help, to help you manage your symptoms. Do be aware, however, that sometimes, it might also be recommended to take medication to manage some of your symptoms, even if just on a short term basis. However, at the same time, there are also many successful non-medicinal treatments for bipolar also.

 

Online support groups may also provide the kind of support you need right now in confidentiality, giving you the chance to talk to others who go through or have gone through the same. They will be well placed to advise you based on their own experience.

 

In the mean time there are some other things you can try to ease your situation.

*Don’t neglect your physical health. Ensure you get enough exercise, eat well and get sufficient sleep each night. Ensuring you are regular in your prayers will help to establish a healthy routine.

*Continue with your obligatory duties – pray 5 times a day and the gradually build into your routine more Islamic activities, even if it is to just to read the Qu’ran for 5 minutes a day to begin with. This is a routine you can build up gradually, spending more time on these things as you progress, rather than diving right in and doing too much at once.

*Identify your triggers. If there is any particular scenario that you know intensifies your emotions, then avoid these situations. Keeping a daily mood diary can assist you with this as you are visually able to monitor your mood changes and clearly identify in which situations your mood is up or down.

*Take up a hobby. Hobbies can be a great way to focus your energy into something positive, achieving new things and connecting with new people. Taking up a volunteering opportunity might be a good idea here too, as Islamically you will find it very rewarding to know that you are pleasing Allah, which will serve the indirect purpose of also bringing you closer to your Deen again

*Set aside time for yourself each day. Use this time to use relaxation techniques, or do something that you enjoy, that makes you feel happy.

 

Integrating these things into your life will give you the confidence that you have the necessary skills to cope with difficulties and you will feel more equipped to deal with any difficulties should they arise. However,  as I said, also do not neglect to get some extra support also due to the big impact that your symptoms seem to be having on your daily life also.

 

May Allah bring you ease in overcoming these difficulties and give you the strength and patience to overcome your problems.