As salamu Alaykum dear sister,

 

Shokran for writing to our Live Session.  I am sorry to hear about how your father is mis-treating you, your siblings and your mom.  This is not an Islamic way to treat one’s family sister and his cursing of his children is haram.

 

Sister, you sound like a wonderful daughter. You not only help out around the home with chores but you also help financially.  It may be that your dad is depressed. He may be angry over something that has nothing to do with you or your family.  It could be stress at work, an unfulfilled life goal or any other number of reasons.  People who are always criticizing others, nitpicking, treating others poorly, are often not happy with themselves.

 

I would kindly suggest insha’Allah that you ask for a family meeting to discuss this problem. I understand you have tried to resolve this before with him, however this time please do suggest family counseling. Suggest counseling on the premise that you desire a happy and harmonious family life and that by seeking counseling perhaps it may help resolve any issues and increase happy relations.

 

You may want to discuss with your father that you all love him very much and seek to make the family a happier unit.  Assure him of your love and respect for him while at the same time pointing out how the Prophet Mohammad (PHUH) treated his family.  As your father seeks to condone his behaviors using Islam, you may wish to bring forth Islamic proofs (in a loving way) concerning the Islamic standpoints on how to treat one’s family and loved ones.

 

If your dad’s heart does not soften sister, you may want to try another method.  When he starts insulting you or your sister or mom, just ignore the insults. Do not respond.  I know this is hard but often times when we stop responding to negativity, it decreases over time and stops.  Insha’Allah this will be the case with your dad. If your dad resists family counseling or does not make efforts to be more kind, please do consider speaking with a close (other) family member or your imam to intervene on your and your families behalf.  I understand this is a hard situation for everyone sister.  Make duaa to Allah for mercy and ease as well as ask Allah to help your dad with his issues.

 

You’re in our prayers, please let us know how you are doing.