I think you need to go for marriage counseling; a counselor should be able to give you tips to practice; also both of you may need to learn to control your anger. Taking an anger management course might be beneficial.

 

I would also urge you to read the book, Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Ekram Beshir.

 

As for the question, whether the words your husband uttered or pronounced can be considered as divorce, it all depends on whether he did do so in a sober state of mind and intending to divorce you. If, on the other hand, he did pronounce those words in a state of extreme anger without harboring any intention to do so, then it is not considered as a valid divorce.

 

For details, you may refer to the answer linked below:

 

http://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-scholar/family/pronouncing-divorce-state-anger-valid/

 

I pray to Allah to inspire us to act rightly in ways that would please Him.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.