As salamu alaykum sister,
While feeling love is a very important part of our existence, the fact is you are married and you are the wife of another man. You’re treading on dangerous waters here and I kindly suggest that you pull back from your previous acquaintance with this man before it is too late. I suggest that you do not have any conversations with him nor attempt to see him again.

It is very sad that some parents reject our choice of marriage partners leaving us often to an unfulfilled marriage wherein we cannot bond for whatever reason. However, as you have three children and have been married for 11 years and stated that he is a good man, I would suggest that you try to forget this other man and try to build with your husband. As you stated you have thought about this other man for all these years, this may possibly be one reason you could not bond with your husband-there was another man in your heart and on your mind.

Sister,  try to start your marriage with a new outlook-one that centers around your commonalities rather than your differences. Make duaa to Allah SWT that he help you with your feelings, marriage and bonding. While I know this is not what you want to hear, it is what is prescribed to us as Muslims.

Please do remember that while this other man may be what you think you want, he very well may be everything you despise. The grass is always greener in the other side, but sadly we do not realize it until we are there-and have lost everything.
Your in our prayers sister please let us know how you are doing.