As salamu alaykum sister,

I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your husband’s side of the family.  Have you and your husband discussed this?  What is his feelings regarding this situation?  Also, I am wondering if your husband informed his wife and family prior to marrying you.  Did you meet his 1^st wife or his family?  Sadly things like this can happen when marriages are done without informing family members and discussing plans to marry.  It also can happen when family members are informed but are resistant.

While I am not an Islamic scholar, I do know that your husband has the right given to him Islamically to take up to four wives if he can meet the Islamic conditions and requirements.  Assuming he has, his parents (and 1^st wife) cannot force him to divorce you.  The bigger issue dear sister will be if your husband can stand up against family pressure as well as successfully dealing with any ramifications based on his decision such as his 1^st wife possibly divorcing him or family members cutting him off. Standing up to family can be challenging.   In many cultures this is very hard to do, but if your husband is strong and remains firm it can be done.  Sadly the outcome for you as his second wife may be a bit hard for awhile in terms of family relationships.  As he has been married to his 1^st wife for 25 years, they may resent your presence in the family.  I can imagine that this hurts my dear sister however this behavior is unIslamic and your husband should remind them of this.  Insha’Allah, in tie they will come to accept this marriage and welcome you into the family.  As it has only been 2 months sister, they may need more time to adjust as it is very new.

I would kindly suggest dear sister that you sit with your husband and discuss the situation and find out how he intends to handle it.  If he is going to stand firm in his rights to remain married to you, ask him how you can help with the situation with his family.  As a supportive wife in this kind of turmoil, I am sure he will appreciate you insha’Allah.  Please do remember sister, that it is not you personally that his family “does not like” but it is the arrangement itself-the second marriage that has them upset.  So please do not take it on a personal level, it could be any woman and they would still reject her and the marriage.  If your husband does not have the fortitude to stand up to his family, sadly you may find yourself in the position of being divorced.  If this does happen, may Allah bless you with a husband who is strong in the foundations of Islam as well determined to stand up for his marriage, his wife as well as his rights in Islam regardless of whom it is that is pressuring him.  As you know, marriage in Islam is a very scared and blessed union.  Allah hates divorce and insha’Allah your husband’s family will also consider this.  Please do give it time dear sister, consult with your husband on his position as well as how he may need your support.  Insha’Allah things will settle down as time progresses and you may find the joy in his family sooner than later.

We wish you the best, you are in our prayers.