We sincerely thank all our users for sending in their questions and for their valuable participation. We also extend our heartfelt thanks to our distinguished guest, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, for taking the time to answer these questions and provide guidance based on Islamic teachings.

Below, you will find the answers to the questions submitted during the session. We hope they provide you with the clarification and guidance you are seeking.

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Question 1:

I struggle to understand when talking with others about someone, who’s not present in the conversation, and whether what we are saying is backbiting or not. I don’t want to go extreme but I struggle with recognising. How should I approach this and is there like a rule of thumb I could use to identify when a situation is Gheebah or not? Does talking about someone who is not mentioned by name and I do not know the person count as Gheebah as well?

Jazakallhu Khairan

Answer 1:

Before discussing the details, let us begin with a simple rule that can guide us in everyday situations.

Ghibah (backbiting) means saying something true about a person who is absent that they would dislike you saying about them. If what you say is false, it becomes buhtan (slander), which is even more serious.

Before speaking about someone, ask yourself:

“Would this person dislike what I am about to say? And is there a genuine need for me to say it?”

If they would dislike it and there is no genuine need to mention it, it is better to remain silent.

When May It Be Permissible?

Sometimes there is a legitimate reason to mention another person’s faults or actions. For example:

• Seeking Islamic, legal, marital, medical, or personal advice.
• Reporting abuse, injustice, fraud, or other harm.
• Warning someone about a real danger.
• Seeking help to solve a problem or reconcile a conflict.

Even then, we should mention only what is necessary, speak only to someone who can genuinely help, and avoid exaggerating or adding unnecessary details.

What If I Do Not Mention the Person’s Name?

Simply leaving out the name does not always prevent ghibah. If your listener can easily identify the person from what you say—such as “my teacher,” “my sister-in-law,” or “the imam at our mosque”—it may still amount to ghibah.

If the person truly cannot be identified, it may not technically be ghibah. Even so, a Muslim should avoid developing the habit of criticizing, mocking, or speaking negatively about others.

A Better Way to Seek Advice

When you need advice, you can simply say:

“I need advice about a situation. I would like to keep the person as anonymous as possible. What would be the fairest and most Islamic way to handle it?”

This keeps the conversation focused on solving the problem rather than exposing the person.

A useful rule to remember is:

If there is a genuine need, say only what is necessary. If there is no genuine need, it is safer—and better for the heart—to remain silent.

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Question 2:

Does my wife really need my consent to leave the home? Like going on a walk, to visit friends and relatives, go shopping, go to work, run in a marathon, and even travel to foreign countries for some weeks for her job and visit healthy or sick family? Legally and religiously, do I need hers for doing all these same things? Should I just get it anyway? Also, is she supposed to obey me in everything, or only in terms of my rights? Personally, the former makes me very uneasy. We’re both Hanafi.

Answer 2:

Marriage in Islam is meant to be built on kindness, trust, mutual respect, consultation, and shared responsibilities. It should not become a relationship in which one spouse constantly controls the other.

A wife, just like her husband, has her own dignity, family relationships, responsibilities, and a reasonable degree of freedom in her daily life.

During the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), women attended the mosque, visited relatives, sought knowledge, worked, and took part in the life of the community. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“Do not prevent your women from going to the mosques of Allah.”

This Prophetic example teaches us that marriage should not mean unnecessary isolation or restriction.

Normal, lawful activities—such as going for a walk, shopping, visiting family, studying, working, exercising, or participating in community activities—should generally be handled with trust, consideration, and good communication, rather than unnecessary restrictions.

At the same time, some decisions have a greater impact on married and family life. Extended travel, relocation, demanding work schedules, major financial decisions, childcare arrangements, or long periods away from home should therefore be discussed together. Healthy marriage requires both spouses to consider how their choices affect each other and the family.

Must a Wife Obey Her Husband in Everything?

No. Islam does not give either spouse unlimited authority over the other. Marriage does not make one person the owner of another.

There can be no obedience in something sinful, abusive, unjust, or seriously harmful. Nor should marriage be used as an excuse to cut someone off unreasonably from parents, relatives, or healthy social relationships.

Both husband and wife have rights and responsibilities. The Qurʾanic principle is that they should live together according to maʿruf—what is good, fair, reasonable, and honourable.

Classical jurists discussed the circumstances in which a wife might leave the marital home and the rights and responsibilities connected with it. Those discussions should be understood in their proper legal and social context. They should not be used to justify controlling, humiliating, or confining a wife.

A Better Question to Ask

Instead of reducing marriage to the question, “Who needs whose permission?” a healthier Islamic approach is to ask: “How can we respect one another, fulfil our responsibilities, and make our decisions through kindness, trust, and consultation?”

This moves the discussion away from power and control and toward the values the Qurʾan places at the heart of marriage: tranquillity, affection, mercy, fairness, and honourable companionship.

A good marriage is not built by constantly asking, “What am I allowed to demand?” It is built by asking, “How can I treat my spouse in the way that is most pleasing to Allah?”

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Question 3:

The Masjids in our area have more that one Salah for Zohar- two or three times. The timings are either before or after Adan. The questions, I was reading mention that zohar salah can be prayed only after Azaan. Please can any Scholar answer my question.

Answer 3:

When Does Zhuhr Time Actually Begin?

Zhuhr does not begin simply because the Adhan has been called. Its time begins when the sun has passed its highest point in the sky, known as zawal.

The Adhan does not create the prayer time; it simply announces that the prayer time has begun.

A Simple Rule to Remember

The prayer time determines whether your prayer is valid. The Adhan only announces that time.

For example, suppose the actual time for Zhuhr begins at 1:10 p.m., but your mosque calls the Adhan at 1:15 p.m. If you pray at 1:12 p.m., your prayer is valid because the time for Zhuhr has already begun.

In other words, you do not have to wait for the mosque’s Adhan if you know that the proper time for the prayer has already entered.

What About Mosques with Several Congregations?

Some mosques arrange more than one Zhuhr congregation to accommodate people with different work or school schedules, or because the prayer space cannot accommodate everyone at once.

There is nothing wrong with this as long as each congregation is held within the proper time for Zhuhr, before the time for ʿAsr begins.

The same principle applies: what matters is the actual prayer time, not the particular time chosen by the mosque for its Adhan or congregational prayer.

Do I Need to Repeat My Prayer?

No. If you prayed before the mosque’s Adhan but after the actual time for Zhuhr had begun, your prayer is valid and there is no need to repeat it.

If you are unsure about the timing, you can simply ask the mosque:

“What time does Zhuhr begin today, and are all the scheduled congregations held within Zhuhr time?”

The main point is simple: Make sure you pray after the proper prayer time has begun and before it ends. The mosque’s Adhan and congregation schedule help organize the community, but they do not determine when the prayer time itself begins.

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Question 4:

My friend asked if a geometric embroidery unintentionally resembles both a pixilated sword and a Christian cross due to the horizontal bar. Is it permissible to wear because she asked the designer, they told her its just a design no symbolism and people would take it as a design since we live in a muslim country. Also she has a blanket on which their is border design containing repetition of plus then pentagon she is getting the thought what is its a door leading to christian cross but Ai said both the things are just design no symbolism

Answer 4:

What About Designs That Look Like a Cross?

Not every design that looks a little like a cross should be treated as a Christian cross.

If the design is simply a pattern or decoration, was not meant to be a religious symbol, and people would not normally recognize it as a Christian cross, there is nothing wrong with wearing or using it.

A Simple Rule

Look at what the design normally means, not at what it might possibly resemble.

A clear Christian cross used as a religious symbol should be avoided. But ordinary intersecting lines, plus signs, embroidery, and geometric patterns are not crosses simply because they have a similar shape.

In Your Case

If the designer has confirmed that the pattern has no Christian meaning, and people normally see it simply as decoration, you may wear or use the item without concern.

There is also no need to keep looking closely at designs and wondering whether they might contain a cross. This can lead to waswasah—unnecessary doubts and worries.

Islam teaches us to follow what is clear, not to worry about unlikely possibilities. So keep it simple: If it is clearly a religious cross, avoid it. If it is simply an ordinary design, treat it as an ordinary design and do not worry about it.

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Question 5:

Alhamdulillah, I performed Hajj this year. However, a thought came to my mind regarding my last Tawaf, and I wanted to clarify whether what I did was permissible.

On the day I was leaving Makkah, I performed Tawaf with the intention of Tawaf al-Wida. During approximately the 3rd/4th circuit, the Safs for Fajr prayer started forming, so I stopped at that point with the intention of continuing the Tawaf after Salah. When I checked the time, there were still around 20–30 minutes before Fajr. I performed Tahajjud during that time, followed by Fajr Salah with the Iqamah, and then continued and completed my Tawaf.

My first question: Is such a long interruption in Tawaf permissible when it is due to waiting for and performing Fajr Salah? Does the Tawaf remain valid, or should it have been restarted?

My second question: Before starting this Tawaf, my intention was that it was my Tawaf al-Wida. However, I had already performed a Tawaf with the same intention the previous day. Was it valid to perform another Tawaf al-Wida, or was the first one sufficient?

If the interruption in the Tawaf was not valid, would I be required to give any dam (penalty)?

JazakAllah Khair.

Answer 5:

Was your Tawaf Valid?

Yes. Your tawaf itself was valid, in shaʾ Allah.

In the Hanafi school, completing all the circuits without interruption is recommended but is not a condition for validity. If an obligatory prayer begins, you may stop the Tawaf, join the congregation, and then continue the remaining circuits afterward.

In your case, you stopped for Fajr, joined the congregational prayer, and afterward completed your Tawaf. This interruption did not invalidate the Tawaf, and there is no dam (sacrifice) required because of it.

If you are now unsure whether you had completed three or four circuits before Fajr, do not allow this later doubt to trouble you. You completed the Tawaf, and it was valid.

Which Was Your Farewell Tawaf?

Your first Tawaf should not be counted as Tawaf al-wadaʿ if it was performed well before your actual departure. The farewell Tawaf is meant to be performed near the time of leaving Makkah, so that it is your final farewell to the Sacred House.

Therefore, the later Tawaf that you performed shortly before leaving was your proper Tawaf al-wadaʿ.

There is no need to repeat anything or offer a sacrifice. Your first Tawaf was valid as a Tawaf, and your later Tawaf fulfilled the purpose of Tawaf al-wadaʿ. Ask Allah to accept your Hajj and all your acts of worship, and do not reopen completed acts because of later doubts.

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Question 6:

I am female and have severe anxiety and doubts about madhy. Sometimes, when I see men, hear a male voice, or have an unwanted thought, I feel a sensation in my genital area and worry that madhy may have come out. However, I am not certain that any discharge actually occurred. Because of this, I feel compelled to check my body and clothes, which makes wudu and salah very difficult.In this situation, am I required to check for madhy whenever I feel a sensation, or can I ignore the doubt, make wudu, and pray without checking?

Answer 6:

Do I Need to Check for Madhy?

No. You are not required to check your body or clothes whenever you feel a sensation.

If you have made Wudu’, it remains valid unless you are certain that madhy actually came out. A sensation, unwanted thought, arousal, or fear that something may have come out is not enough.

The basic Islamic rule is: Certainty is not removed by doubt.

What Should You Do?

Make Wudu’ once and continue with your prayer. Do not inspect your body or underwear simply because you felt something.

If you clearly know that madhy came out, then clean the affected area and renew your Wudu’. But mere doubt does not require checking, washing, repeating Wudu’, or repeating the prayer.

Dealing with Waswasah

If you frequently experience such doubts, make this a firm rule:

Do not check because of sensations or doubts. Ignore them and continue your worship normally.

Repeated checking only strengthens waswasah. Islam asks you to act on certainty, not on fears and possibilities. Your prayer remains valid unless you know with certainty that your Wudu’ was broken. Worship Allah with confidence and do not reopen completed acts of worship because of later doubts.

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Question 7:

Is my marriage finished Islamic due to the use of talaqin anger?
-The first occasion happened in mid July 2025 I had moved out the family home and lived at my sister from June 2025 as my wife and I were arguing over my infidelity, whilst at my sisters tried to hang myself due all the argument and issues.
22 July 2025 I attended the family home we had an argument when I was leaving house and my wife asked for my house keys back. I returned them to her and left. She contacted my mother saying I handed my keys in and left the family home. When I had saw my wife I was angry as in my eyes she had twisted what had happened and cause conflict with me and my family. During this argument she began to ask questions regarding my infidelity as I was still lying to her after my affair due to fear of the consequences, shame of my actions, guilt of the pain am causing and anger of the conflict caused with my family I told her I give her talaq my intentions was to end the arguments. My intention was not to end the marriage. Again at this point in my life I did not pray or know the true meaning of talaq or its consequences. She got upset and left the room I followed and we spoke and were intimate.

-Approx 2 hours later on the same evening after being intimate we were having tea and began to go back and forward she asked me about the talaq and I said “yes I gave you talaq” I was referring to our previous argument of what I said earlier. I was not saying it as to give her another talaq. However my wife has told me that’s not what had happened on that conversation and that I gave her talaq however I can’t remember if it went like that, again at the time I was emotionally unstable and. At the time I didn’t know she had taken that as a 2nd talaq only recently after we spoke I have become aware of her perspective. Wife was on her period during this time.

31 July 2025 we met again and we talked and were intimate. We continued to be intimate every month going forward

-around 2nd November 2025, another argument occurred over the telephone, my wife began to ask more questions about my infidelity I wouldn’t tell her and we began to argue again I lost my temper as she became abusive towards me I wanted to end the arguments and the questioning I told her I wanted to end the marriage saying i divorce her times 3. I know during arguments in past I would say stuff just the end the argument. She hung the phone up and I tried to call her back to apologies explain I just lost my temper but she would answer.

At that end of November 2025 as I was helping her with the kids due to her mother being in hospital for operation and I stayed the night. On one that nights in November 25 I stayed in my son rooms to my wife returned from hospital and she invited me back to our bedroom and after talking we had become intimate again. She stated during this time she was on her period.
We were intimate one more time in early December when I was dropping the children off.

Even though we were intimate at this point I still had not been open about my affair. All of last year every month both me and my wife were intimate. Due to me still lying we stayed in different houses. I continue to provide for my kids and would have them on my days off. Through January to July 2026 we never met or spoke only spoke for the children.

2026 my wife was under the belief she was divorced and went into seeking another husband on dating sites and engaged with 3 different men, 1 she went on a date, another she spoke for a little and on the day to meet she changed her mind. 3rd she continued to talk and met on 4 occasion and took drugs with him in 1 of them occasion and I don’t know if she became intimate with him she said she didn’t. I did not seek another marriage as I thought in my head and heart I am still married I went through a mental breakdown of my actions and ended my relationship with the affair, I have been in therapy.

In July 2026 I found out my mother in law was in hospital for an open heart surgery. I reached out to my wife asking to see my mother in law to pay my respects. Me and my wife began to speak with one another we reconnected and have been intimate number of times. We both agree there is love there and pain which I caused but we both agree we want to work on the marriage and want to reconcile. We have two kids aged 9 and 13 who also want us together. My mother in law and my wife’s uncle have gave their blessing for us to unite again.

Is my Islamic marriage over due to my usage of talaq.
a- I was under extreme emotional stress, anger and not thinking clearly I was in deep fear guilt and shame for my actions, around that time in July 2025 I made an attempt to end my life by hanging myself. I was lost and did not know who I was anymore and thought I ruined everything.
b- I never had intentions to end my marriage I was trying to run away from the situation
c- my lack of knowledge I did not understand what I was saying, I did not know the meaning of this my knowledge in Islam is bare minimum.
d- These were issued during my wife’s period

Answer 7:

I am sorry that you and your wife are going through such a difficult situation.

Your case involves several important issues: how many times Talaq may have been pronounced, the exact words that were used, differences between what you and your wife remember, your emotional or mental state at the time, menstruation, and intimacy that may have taken place afterwards. All of these details can affect the ruling.

For this reason, it would not be responsible for me to give you a final ruling through online messages alone.

Please consult a knowledgeable and trustworthy scholar or a recognized Islamic family-law authority in the area where you live. If possible, you and your wife should speak to the scholar together. The scholar will need to hear both sides, establish exactly what was said and when, and review any relevant messages, dates, witnesses, or other information.

Until you receive a clear ruling, it would be safer to avoid marital intimacy.

I am sorry that I cannot give you a definite answer here. In a matter as serious as divorce and the validity of a marriage, it is important that all the facts are carefully established before a ruling is given.

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Question 8:

Are collecting and displaying action figures such as Marvel or Spider-Man figures permissible in Islam? I am 14 years old and collect them as a hobby. They are not worshipped, and I do not intend to imitate idols. What is the ruling?

Answer 8:

Can I Keep and Play with Action Figures?

Yes. At 14, you may keep and play with action figures as toys or collectibles, as long as you do not treat them as sacred objects or use them for anything clearly forbidden in Islam.

There is a well-known allowance for children’s toys in Islam. ʿAishah (may Allah be pleased with her) used to play with dolls during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

A Simple Rule

A toy does not become an idol simply because it has a human shape or a face.

What matters is what the object is used for and how you treat it.

Characters such as Spider-Man and other superheroes are simply fictional characters. If you enjoy their figures as toys or collectibles, you do not need to worry that you are doing something wrong.

Keep Your Hobby Balanced

Scholars have different opinions about three-dimensional human or animal figures, especially realistic statues that are kept only for decoration. However, children’s toys have traditionally been treated differently.

So you can enjoy your hobby, but keep it balanced. Do not spend too much money on it or allow it to distract you from your prayers, schoolwork, family, or other responsibilities. It is also best to avoid figures that clearly promote something indecent or contrary to Islamic values.

Most importantly, do not let harmless things become a source of constant religious worry. Enjoy what is permissible, thank Allah for the things you enjoy, and remember that hobbies are good when they remain a healthy and balanced part of your life.

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Question 9:

Is this kufr?

If you intend to mock Islam, but the act itself does not mock Islam, does this still constitute *kufr*?

Answer 9:

Does an Intention to Mock Islam Affect One’s Faith?

Deliberately mocking Allah, the Qurʾan, the Messenger (peace be upon him), or Islam is an extremely serious matter. This includes not only deliberate words or actions but also a firmly formed intention or resolution in the heart to mock what is sacred.

A Simple Rule

Passing thoughts are excused; deliberate and settled intentions are not.

Unwanted thoughts, fleeting ideas, disturbing images, or waswasah that enter the mind without our choice do not affect our faith. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught that Allah has pardoned this ummah for thoughts that merely occur to the mind so long as they are not acted upon or spoken.

However, this should not be confused with a person deliberately embracing and firmly resolving upon an intention of disbelief. A settled intention to reject, insult, or mock Allah, His revelation, His Messenger (peace be upon him), or the religion can itself constitute disbelief, even if the person does not eventually express it in words or carry it out.

What Should You Do?

If you know that you deliberately formed such a firm intention, repent sincerely to Allah and renew your Shahadah to safeguard your faith. Regret the intention, reject it completely, ask Allah for forgiveness, and resolve never to return to it.

Then move forward with your prayers and good deeds. Allah says: “Do not despair of God’s mercy: God forgives all sins.” (Al-Ahzab 39:53)

But if what occurred was merely an intrusive thought, uncertainty, fear, or waswasah, do not treat it as disbelief and do not repeatedly renew your Shahadah. Islam distinguishes between thoughts that involuntarily enter the mind and beliefs or intentions that a person consciously and deliberately adopts.

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Question 10:

i am 9 weeks pregnant, i want to abort my child, i want to know if its allowed in islam,
i went for court marriage and i left my family , after a year my husbands reality revealed he had multiple affairs and having promises of marriage with many girls having sex with thek even in my bedroom he had sex with many girls and even my maid ,
i cant live with such man , i decided to contact my family they said go for divorce but i came to know im
pregnant, now neither i nor him want to be in this marriage , what should i do in my family no one knows about my marriage people will says whose baby is that i want to abort plz tell me is it permissible and if there is any kafara after that

Answer 10:

Should I Consider Abortion?

I am sorry that you are facing such a painful situation. Your husband’s betrayal and the breakdown of your marriage can be deeply distressing. However, abortion should not be considered simply because the marriage is ending, because of his unfaithfulness, or because of fear of what people may say.

The unborn child is innocent and should not bear the consequences of another person’s wrongdoing.

A Simple Rule

Pregnancy should be protected unless continuing it poses a genuine and serious danger to the mother’s health.

Although scholars have differed about abortion before 120 days, this does not mean that it is automatically permissible during this period. There should be a serious and compelling reason.

If you are concerned that continuing the pregnancy may seriously affect your physical or mental health, consult a trustworthy doctor and seek professional counselling. A proper assessment can help you understand your condition and make a decision without being driven by fear, pressure, or emotional distress.

Listen to Your Conscience Before Allah

Ultimately, this is a deeply personal moral decision for which you are responsible before Allah. Consult your sincere moral conscience while remaining fully aware of your standing before Him.

Do not make such an irreversible decision because of panic, shame, marital difficulties, or fear of what others may think.

You may have every right to leave a harmful marriage. But ending a marriage and ending a pregnancy are two very different decisions.

Seek Allah’s guidance, obtain trustworthy medical advice and professional counselling, consider the consequences carefully, and choose what you can answer for with a clear conscience before Allah.

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Question 11:

My brothers are extremely foul mouthed, critical to the point of emotionally abusive towards me, and let no opportunity go to tarnish my reputation in front of other relatives. If I try to step back, they take up the issue of Qata e rehmi and declare me “jahanumi”. Kindly guide, if I can stop seeing them or meeting them?

Answer 11:

Do I Have to Keep Visiting Family Members Who Hurt Me?

No. Islam does not require you to keep putting yourself in situations where you are repeatedly insulted, humiliated, or emotionally hurt.

Maintaining family ties is important in Islam, but that does not mean you must allow relatives to mistreat you.

If visiting your brothers regularly causes you real harm, you may reduce your visits or, when necessary, stop visiting for a time. This does not automatically mean that you are guilty of qatʿ al-rahim—wrongfully cutting family ties. Sometimes keeping a healthy distance is necessary to protect yourself and prevent the situation from becoming worse.

A Simple Rule

Maintain whatever family connection you reasonably can, but you do not have to remain in situations where you are being harmed.

Even if you cannot visit comfortably, you may still keep some connection in simpler ways—a greeting from time to time, a brief message, `Eid wishes, asking about them when appropriate, making Du`a for them, or keeping in touch through another family member.

You are not required to attend gatherings where you reasonably expect to be abused, mocked, or humiliated.

When Someone Insults You

You do not have to argue or respond with insults of your own. You can calmly say:

“I want to maintain a good relationship with you, but I cannot continue a conversation in which I am being insulted. We can talk when we are able to speak respectfully.” Then politely end the conversation or leave. Walking away from abuse is not the same as abandoning your family.

Protect Yourself without Harming Others

Try to set your boundaries calmly, without anger or revenge. Protecting yourself does not give you permission to mistreat them in return. At the same time, being related to someone does not give that person permission to mistreat you.

And do not allow frightening statements such as “You are going to Jahannam” to control you. No family member has the authority to decide another person’s final destiny before Allah.

Your responsibility is to do your best before Allah: avoid injustice, protect yourself from genuine harm, forgive where you are able, and maintain whatever family connection you can without repeatedly exposing yourself to mistreatment.

If reconciliation becomes possible, welcome it—but it should be based on respect, not continued abuse. A wise family elder, counsellor, imam, or mediator may sometimes help.

Remember that setting a healthy boundary is not the same as rejecting your family. Sometimes a little distance, maintained without hatred or revenge, is what allows a relationship to heal. Keep your heart free from bitterness as much as you can, make Du`aʾ for your family, and entrust what you cannot change to Allah.

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Question 12:

I am a 21-year-old Muslim male and currently an MBBS student. I am seeking advice regarding a situation involving a Catholic Christian woman whom I have become close to and who has expressed that she has feelings for me.

I would like to explain the situation fully because I do not want to make an important decision based only on my emotions or my own limited understanding of Islamic rulings.

I have generally been very strict with my interactions with women. I do not normally have close female friends, I avoid unnecessary private interactions, and I try to maintain Islamic boundaries. However, this was the first time I allowed myself to become close to a woman and genuinely considered whether I could potentially marry her.

She is Catholic and comes from a Christian family. She is kind, honest, respectful toward me, not materialistic, and has generally respected the boundaries I have explained to her. She has also told me that her mother is religious and that she learned about Catholicism from a young age through Sunday school, Communion, and Confirmation.

I recently asked her directly about her beliefs because I did not want to make assumptions simply because she identifies as Catholic. I asked her how she personally understands God and Jesus. She told me that she believes Jesus is the Son of God and God Himself, and that she believes in the Trinity — one God in three persons: the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I understand that this is fundamentally different from Islamic tawḥid. As a Muslim, I believe that Allah is absolutely One and that Jesus (‘Isa) is a prophet and messenger of Allah, not God or the son of God.

I am therefore struggling with whether this is something I could genuinely accept in a future marriage.

I understand that the Qur’an permits Muslim men to marry chaste women from the People of the Book, and I am aware of Qur’an 5:5. However, I have also read Qur’an 2:221 and various scholarly discussions advising Muslims to be very cautious about interfaith marriages because of their possible effects on faith, family life, and children.

My concerns are particularly about the future:

If my wife remains Catholic and sincerely believes in the Trinity, can I genuinely build a peaceful Islamic household with her?
How should I think about raising children? I would want my children to be Muslim, learn the Qur’an, pray, fast Ramadan, and understand tawḥid. I worry about possible conflicts if their mother teaches them her understanding of Christianity.
What happens with religious celebrations, church attendance, baptism/Confirmation, Christmas/Easter, etc.?
Would there be difficulties regarding the children’s religious identity or upbringing if both parents have sincere but fundamentally different beliefs?
If I want to practice Islam together with my wife — praying, fasting, learning Qur’an, going for Hajj/Umrah, etc. — I realize that this would not be something we could share in the same way.
I also worry about the influence of her Catholic family and what expectations might arise regarding future children.
Most importantly, I don’t want to marry her while secretly hoping that she will eventually change her beliefs or become Muslim. I have already told her that I would never want her to change herself simply because of me.

There are also differences in our lifestyles and values. For example, I personally prefer my future wife to dress modestly according to Islamic standards, avoid close relationships with unrelated men, and maintain certain boundaries between men and women. She has been respectful toward my views, but she has honestly told me that having male friends, dressing according to her own choices, and posting pictures on social media are normal parts of her life and that she would need to think carefully before changing any of those things.

I have also told her that these are my values and that I do not want her to promise to change for me. I do not want her to feel controlled or pressured.

Regarding my own readiness, I initially thought my main reason for saying no would be that I am only 21, still studying medicine, have no income yet, and want to build myself and become financially and personally stable before committing to marriage. I am a very goal-oriented person and I initially made a decision in my mind that I was not ready.

However, after actually talking to her more seriously, I realized that I may have rushed that decision. We have only spent about a week getting to know each other properly face-to-face at university, and most of our communication has been through texting and occasional calls. She believes that people need more time to get to know each other before deciding whether to pursue marriage.

Because of this, I have not yet given her a final “no.” Instead, I recently had an honest conversation with her where we discussed our values, religion, expectations, readiness, and our differences. She also told me that she wants to take time to think about whether she is comfortable with some of my values.

I am currently leaning toward not pursuing the relationship, but I do not want to make that decision simply because I am afraid or because I am overthinking. At the same time, I do not want to continue becoming emotionally attached to someone if I already have serious doubts about whether the marriage would be viable Islamically and practically.

I have also spoken briefly with my father. He is not completely opposed to the possibility of a Muslim man marrying a Christian woman. He said he would prefer a Muslim wife but was generally open to a Christian marriage under certain circumstances, particularly if she genuinely practices her faith and the intentions are serious. I have not yet made a final decision and am considering discussing the matter with him in more detail.

I also recognize that some of our communication — texting, calling, and becoming emotionally close — may not have been appropriate according to the boundaries I normally try to maintain. I am asking Allah for forgiveness for anything I have done wrong and am trying to correct my behavior rather than justify it.

My questions are therefore:

1. From an Islamic perspective, is marrying a Catholic woman who sincerely believes Jesus is God and believes in the Trinity permissible under Qur’an 5:5, assuming she is chaste and otherwise meets the relevant conditions?

2. If it is technically permissible, is it nevertheless something that scholars would strongly advise against in circumstances like mine because of the religious differences and possible consequences for the children?

3. How should I evaluate the issue of raising children Muslim when the mother sincerely holds Trinitarian Christian beliefs?

4. Am I being unreasonable or overly fearful by considering the religious difference itself a major obstacle, even though she is a good person and respects my religion?

5. Given that I am only 21, still studying, financially dependent on my family, and already questioning whether I am ready for marriage, would it be wiser Islamically to step away rather than pursue something that could involve significant religious and family difficulties?

6. Finally, should I continue getting to know her for a limited period in a halal and structured manner before deciding, or would the religious differences and circumstances make it better to end the relationship now?

I am not asking you to tell me what I want to hear. I genuinely want an Islamic assessment of the situation, including anything I may be misunderstanding or overlooking.

JazakAllahu khayran for taking the time to read this and advise me.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Answer 12:

Should you continue toward marriage?

Your concern is understandable. Marriage is more than two good people loving one another. It is a lifelong partnership in faith, worship, family life, and raising children. Shared spiritual direction, therefore, matters greatly.

Is the marriage permissible?

The Qurʾan permits a Muslim man, in principle, to marry a chaste Jewish or Christian woman (Al-Ma’idah 5:5). So marriage to a sincere Catholic woman can be legally permissible.

However, what is permissible is not always what is wise or advisable. If differences in faith are likely to affect your religious commitment, the upbringing of your children, or the harmony of your home, they should be taken extremely seriously.

Ask the Deeper Question

Do not ask only: “Am I allowed to marry her?”

Ask instead:

“Can we build a home together with a shared moral and spiritual direction?”

You believe in tawhid, while she sincerely holds Christian beliefs about Jesus and the Trinity. You also differ over worship, modesty, social relationships, and, most importantly, the religious upbringing of future children.

These are not minor differences. Do not enter marriage hoping that she will eventually change, just as it would be unfair for her to marry hoping that you will change.

A Lesson from Experience

From my experience counselling families for more than five decades in North America, I have seen several such marriages eventually fail or break apart. Even more painful is seeing children caught between two religions, confused about their religious identity, and sometimes ending up with little or no commitment to either faith.

For this reason, I would not advise you to pursue this relationship further, especially when these fundamental differences are already clear.

Moving Forward

You are still young, studying, financially dependent, and uncertain whether you are ready for marriage. It would be wiser to step away now rather than deepen an attachment that may bring greater pain later.

Ask Allah for guidance and forgiveness for any boundaries that may have been crossed. Focus on your studies and personal development, and when you are ready, seek a spouse with whom you can share tawhid, prayer, Qurʾan, Ramadan, moral values, and the religious upbringing of your children. Affection and excellent character are precious, but shared faith and spiritual direction provide a far stronger foundation for a peaceful and lasting Muslim home.

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Question 13:

I want to know about the Quranic foundation of Hadith. Besides, how can I realize that the available hadiths were the statement, agreement or silence of Prophet (sa.)? What should I follow to be a proper muslim?

I am ignorant of Islam. Allah did not give me enough conscience and rationality to choose. Allah is watching all of us. Please, give me my answer in a correct way.

Answer 13:

How Should I Understand the Qurʾan and Hadith?

You are not ignorant because you are asking questions. Wanting to understand your religion sincerely is itself a good sign. Learn gradually, beginning with the Qurʾan and the essential teachings of Islam.

Why Do We Need Hadith?

The Qurʾan does not present the Prophet (peace be upon him) merely as someone who delivered a book. Allah also entrusted him with teaching and explaining the revelation (An-Nahl 16:44)

For example, the Qurʾan commands us to pray, fast, give Zakah, and perform Hajj, but many practical details are taught through the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) words and example. Allah repeatedly commands us in the Qurʾan to follow His Messenger (peace be upon him).

In one particularly beautiful verse, Allah tells the Prophet (peace be upon him) to declare:

“Say, ‘If you love God, follow me, and God will love you and forgive you your sins.’” (Aal `Imran 3:31)

This verse teaches us that true love of Allah is not expressed through words alone. It is shown by following the guidance and example of His Messenger (peace be upon him). Following the Prophet (peace be upon him) is therefore a path to Allah’s love, mercy, and forgiveness.

Therefore, Muslims follow both the Qurʾan and the authentic Sunnah. The Sunnah helps us understand how the Qurʾan is lived and practised.

Are All Hadiths Authentic?

No. Not every report attributed to the Prophet (peace be upon him) is equally reliable. Muslim scholars developed a sophisticated science for examining Hadith. They studied who transmitted each report, the reliability of the narrators, and the content of the report itself.

Hadith may therefore be classified as authentic (sahiḥ), acceptable (hasan), weak (daʿif), or fabricated.

For this reason, do not judge Islam by a random hadith or social-media post taken out of context. Reliable scholarship considers the Qurʾan, authentic Sunnah, context, and the wider teachings of Islam together.

Where Should You Begin?

Start with the basics: understand the Shahadah, learn how to pray properly, read a reliable translation of the Qurʾan, and study the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) life and teachings from trustworthy sources. Learn gradually and ask questions whenever something troubles you.

You do not need to become a Hadith scholar to be a good Muslim. Allah asks you to worship Him sincerely, learn what you need step by step, treat people well, repent when you make mistakes, and continue seeking His guidance. So keep learning without becoming overwhelmed. The purpose of knowledge is not to make religion confusing, but to bring you closer to Allah with understanding, confidence, and humility.

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Question 14:

My mother does not allow myself/her son to give Zakat, Islamic gift money payment to near blood relatives, and any type of my money to my blood relatives.

But I told my mother’s sister, my blood aunty I give my aunty Zakat next month for my aunty’s medicine, medical costs and emergencies. But I think my mother’s sister is telling me lies that she/my aunty needs money for medicine.

(1) Is it halal or haram for me to give Zakat to my mother’s blood sister, my aunty, as I told my aunty I will give her/my aunty Zakat for medicine, medical costs, emergencies next month, me giving any type of my money to my mom’s sister will make my mother very angry, upset, depressed, scared of me her son, if my mom found out that I do actually send my aunty Zakat money, so is it halal or haram, wajib or Sunnah for me to give Zakat to my aunty where I am clearly going against my mom’s command on me to never ever give my aunty any Zakat or any other type of money?


(2) My mother does not allow me to give Zakat, Islamic close relatives gift money payment to any of my relatives. But I told a female cousin I will try my best to give my female cousin’s husband a Islamic close blood relatives gift money payment next month without my mother’s permission, hiding this money payment from my mother, to not hurt my mother.
Is it halal, haram, Wajib or Sunnah to give a Islamic close blood relatives gift payment to my female cousin’s husband without my mother’s permission, and my mother would be hurt, depressed, worried, scared of me if my mother does find out that I paid a Islamic close blood relatives gift payment to the husband of this female cousin of mine too?


This female cousin is my mother’s blood sister’s daughter and my mothee hates her blood sister a lot.


I told my female cousin that I will give a Islamic close blood relatives gift payment to her husband next month. My mother does not allow me to give a Islamic close blood relatives gift payment to this female cousin of mine, and the husband too,


As my mother does not allow me to give any type of money to any of my near blood relatives, am I allowed to give Zakat, or Islamic gift money payment to any of my near blood relatives? Especially when I told a few close blood relatives whom my mother hates a lot that I will give Zakat for medicine, medical costs, emergencies and a Islamic Qur’anic financial close blood relative gift payment next month to them?

My mother will be very angry, upset, scared, depressed, if she finds out that I her male adult son gives some of my money savings in secret as Zakat and Islamic Qur’anic near relatives money gift payment to any of my mother’s blood relatives, including both blood relatives who my mother hates a lot and also blood relatives who my mother does not hate a lot.

Half of my mind/intellect thinks that some of my blood relatives are telling lies to fool me that they need money help so that they can purchase non-needed things.
But half of my mind/intellect thinks that some of my close blood relatives might need emergency money payments help.

My mother hates her blood sister a lot, husband of her blood sister too. And my mom does not allow me to give my money in Zakat, Qur’anic Islamic close blood relatives money gift payment or giving my money in any method to my mom’s blood relatives.

(3) And my mother has told me her son loads of times that I her son am never ever allowed to give any type money payment to my mother’s blood relatives.
But sometimes I have told a few blood relatives whom my mother hates a lot that I will give these blood relatives of mine Islamic money payments whilst hiding this act from my mother because my mother does not allow me to give my money to my mother’s blood relatives.
So should I stop telling my mother’s blood relatives that I want to give them Zakat or Islamic close relatives gift payment because my mother does not allow me to do this?

Jazaka Allah Khair

Rafiq Rahman


Answer 14:

Can Your Mother Stop You from Giving Zakah to Relatives?

If the money belongs to you and your Zakah is due, your mother cannot prevent you from fulfilling this obligation to Allah.

You may give your Zakah to a needy aunt, cousin, or other relative who is eligible to receive it. In fact, giving to a deserving relative brings two rewards: the reward of charity and the reward of strengthening family ties.

Make Sure They Really Need Help

Before giving Zakah, make a reasonable effort to know whether the person is genuinely in need—for example, because they cannot meet their basic expenses or are struggling with debts they cannot afford to repay.

You do not need to question or embarrass them. At the same time, you should not give Zakah simply because someone asks you for money.

If you are unsure whether they qualify for Zakah, you can still help them with a gift or voluntary charity.

Respect Your Mother, but Fulfil Your Duty

You should always speak to your mother with kindness and respect, even when you disagree with her. But respecting our parents does not mean that we can neglect an obligation Allah has placed upon us.

If your Zakah is due and you reasonably believe that your relative is eligible to receive it, you may give it to them even if your mother would prefer that you did not.

At the same time, you do not have to discuss every detail of your charitable giving if doing so will only lead to unnecessary arguments or family tension.

Do Not Let Anyone Pressure You

When it comes to voluntary charity, give according to what you can comfortably afford. You are not required to give money to every relative who asks, and you should not feel forced to make promises because of guilt or family pressure.

You can politely say:

“I cannot promise anything right now. If I am able to help, I will let you know.”

Try to keep a healthy balance: be kind and respectful to your mother, compassionate toward relatives in need, and responsible with your money.

Above all, fulfil your Zakah because it is a duty to Allah. Let your giving be guided by genuine need, wisdom, and sincerity—not guilt, pressure, or family conflict.