As salamu alaykum brother,

 

Shokran for writing to our Live Session.  Brother as I understand, you have failed your simulation exams many times in the past. You stated that you have the last simulation and a key to enter A levels, and without it you’ll have to wait another year. Brother you indicated the problem is that you have not studied very well. You now feel bad that you haven’t studied. The problem is not that you’re not smart enough to pass, I’m sure you’re very intelligent. The problem is that you don’t apply yourself and therefore you are suffering the consequences. I guess I’m wondering why you’re not studying.

 

 

Deeper Issues

Your question is even more alarming because you want to know how to get anything you want from God even self-death. Brother I’m wondering if you are suffering from depression, if you have a history of trauma or abuse in your life, or if there are other reasons why you are thinking in this way. Have you had previous suicide attempts? Do you have a plan commit suicide? I strongly recommend brother that you seek counseling for your desires and wishes to die.

 

Asking for Death

 

While you did not specify suicide, I did need to ask those questions and have you think about things more clearly. If you are feeling any suicidal ideation please do call the suicide hotline in your country or go to the nearest emergency room. I kindly suggest that you speak with somebody that you’re close to about what you’re feeling. I also want you to make a promise, which is a written contract to yourself that you will not harm yourself. As you know brother suicide is a sin. As you are a good Muslim and you love Allah, I am hoping that you will honor that. One cannot ask Allah or pray to Allah for death. Only Allah knows when our time of death is. It is pre-written by Allah.

 

Tired of Living

 

Brother everybody goes through times where they’re tired of living. We all have bad memories and negative things happen to us. However most of the time we don’t wish for death. We wish to improve our circumstances. Allah says he won’t help a people unless they help themselves. I kindly ask you, have you really helped yourself? Have you put all your efforts into studying, have you put efforts into resolving the situations that you’re tired of living with? Brother you’re only 19 years old. You have a whole wonderful life ahead of you. To just give up now and wish for death is kind of like saying Allah made a mistake when He created you, which he did not do.  Allah does not make mistakes. We all go through tests and trials in this life. This is a test and a trial that you are going through. I am confident that you will see the wisdom in the lessons learned from these tests and trials and you will come through them stronger.

 

Allah Created you with Love

 

There’s a saying that “life is what we make it”. This is true to a degree. For instance, we can either choose to study for an exam and do well, or we can choose not to. We can choose to remain depressed and sad and tired, or we can seek out counseling to resolve our feelings. We do have choices. You seem like a very smart young man who is a very pious Muslim. You sound very overwhelmed right now however, and I am concerned. Brother things in your life will get better. As your question was very brief I’m not sure exactly what you’re going through or what you’ve been through. All I know is that you are taking exams and you’re not passing them because you’re not studying. It’s a simple solution really, regarding the exams.

 

If you fail this one you just have to study for the next one. You will have a whole year to do so. During this year you may perhaps want to improve upon your study habits. I also highly recommend that you seek out counseling on a regular basis to resolve what may be depression, based on your wish for death. Please do get counseling brother, as well as draw closer to Allah. Allah loves you very much. He wants you to succeed. Allah swt want you to be happy and to have a good life. He gave you this life, you are a special, unique human being that Allah created with love. Please honor Allah and your life by living up to your full potential.  There is nothing in this life that you cannot overcome if you try.  I am confident that you can. Please let us know how you are doing you are in our prayers