Let me answer the points you have raised in their respective order:

 

1- While coming across or face to face with women you are excused for the first glance, which is unavoidable. However, you are not allowed to stare at them lustfully. You need not turn your face away from a woman you are conversing with as long as you are not flirting around.

 

2- Masturbation is permitted only in extreme cases to guard against falling into fornication or adultery.

 

3- We are accountable for lustful thoughts; while we are not accountable for pure thoughts. You should decide it for yourself based on your conscience that fears Allah and the Last Day.

 

4- The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Eyes fornicate, mind fornicates, and the private parts consummate the act or shun it. Fornication of eyes consists in lustful stares; fornication of the mind involves lustful thoughts.”

5- Lustful stares, talks, etc. are minor sins as long as a person does not take them to the next level: fornication. Minor sins are redeemed or washed away by good deeds and istighfaar (asking forgiveness of Allah).

 

I pray to Allah to embellish our hearts with love of faith and virtue and make us hate sins of all kinds: major and minor, open and secret, outward and inward. Amen.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.