Words and statements that people make should be taken according to their intentions and should also be judged by the common usage which may vary according to contexts. So, if as you allege some people use such words without any intention but just as a figure of speech, it should be taken in that spirit. That is what we learn from the following verse:

 

God will not take you to task for oaths which you may have uttered without thought, but will take you to task [only] for what your hearts have conceived [in earnest]: for God is much-forgiving, forbearing. (Al-Baqarah 2: 225)

 

Based on this, if they use such expressions without intention to leave apart from their wives, it should not be taken as Zhihar mentioned in the verse you have cited.

 

Having said this, I would also rush to add: such words and expressions are derogatory for women; as such, every conscientious Muslim must shun them. We ought to purge our hearts, minds, and tongues clean of such filthy talks.

 

They are symptoms of a sick society that is conditioned by misogyny and degrading womanhood. The Prophet said, “No one but an honorable man would honor women; no one but a dishonorable man would dishonor women.”

 

How could we stoop to such a level of degrading womanhood when they are our mothers, wives, daughters, and sisters; they are wombs that bore us!

 

I pray to Allah to purge our hearts of all taints of paganism and misogyny and embellish our hearts with faith and pure thoughts.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.