As salamu alaikum and Ramadan Mubarak.
Sister I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s extramarital affair. May Allah bless you for your patience, efforts, your willingness to forgive, and your continued support of your husband.
A Heart that has been Hurt
I can imagine this is so hurtful, especially as he told you she will always have a special place in his heart. What kind of a man says that to his wife? Anyhow sister, insha’Allah as he grows in deen and knowledge perhaps his mind will be able to comprehend his grave errors. Insha’Allah he recognizes as well as the beautiful, wonderful pearl that is his wife.
Sister, you stated that he did want to do nikah with this woman but later dropped the idea. I am wondering why? If you do not know why he dropped the idea dear sister, and he still talks about her, I would kindly ask.
It could be that her family declined him or forbid her to marry him. It could be she told him no. Sister I can imagine you are very hurt. You have sacrificed a lot and you’ve put up with a lot. You do not deserve this you deserve much better. Sister, he may say she has a place in his heart but perhaps the feeling he has is guilt not affection at this point. He words to you were hurtful and I am sure he knows that. Perhaps he is taking his own guilt and remorse out on you instead of facing his own inadequacies and sins. He is blessed to have you as a wife sister.
At this point you may want to go for marriage counseling. I kindly advise you to address this with him to improve and rebuild your marriage insha’Allah. In the meantime, sister inshallah please try not to take his cheating personal. I know that is very hard. I’m sure you have a very special place in his heart however right now he’s just a very selfish sinful man.
Be Good to Yourself
Please do be extra good to yourself during this time, take walks, socialize with friends for upbuilding and support, attend Ramadan prayers and events, and stay close to Allah. In time insha’Allah this pain will pass and he will come to his right mind. If he doesn’t or if there is a repeat of his infidelity, you do have other options sister. You are in our prayers.
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