As salamu alaikum and Ramadan Mubarak,
Thank you for writing to our live session. As I understand your situation, you are married and you are expecting a child with another woman who is not your wife. You feel very bad about the situation and worry about Allah’s forgiveness.
A Hurtful Situation
Brother, I do not know how long you have been married, nor how many months pregnant the other woman is. However, it is definitely going to be a most hurtful situation for your wife and the families involved.
Be the First to Inform
I will kindly suggest insha’Allah, that you do inform your wife and family about the situation. It will be very difficult for you to do I am sure, however the truth is going to come forth regardless. It will look better if you were the one who tells it.
I also kindly suggest that however your wife reacts and feels that you try to be understanding and respect where she is coming from. She is probably going to be devastated and very hurt. She may take time to heal and trust again, or she may decide to leave. Only Allah knows. I kindly suggest that you both seek marriage counseling should she decide to go forward with her marriage to you.
As far as the other woman is concerned, I am not sure if you plan to make her your wife as well, or if she was a casual encounter, or if there’s any kind of relationship. In regards to her, you will have to decide how she will be treated fairly as well as make arrangements concerning your upcoming child.
We Learn and Repent
Insha’Allah brother this experience showed you how wise it is to follow our Islamic values and not sin. Sin is not only disobedience but it can bring much devastation and hurt. As humans, we often do not think about these things, thus the good practice of remembrance of Allah at all times.
Allah is Most Merciful
Dear brother, Allah swt states that he will forgive everything but shirk if we sincerely repent to Him. I suggest that you do make repentance to Allah for your sins. Make duaa to Allah that He also grants mercy upon those that are affected by your transgression. Perhaps this will be a turning point in your life wherein you will take more serious consideration of your actions.
Your situation is not unique. Sadly there are a lot of situations such as these. The main point dear brother is to repent to Allah, fix yourself and your family on a righteous path, and ensure you take care of your child and the mother.
Trying to Rebuild
Insha’Allah you and your wife will be able to rebuild your marriage. Insha’Allah you will make an Islamic decision regarding the woman that you got pregnant so that she does not have to suffer or do without as well. The child that is coming into this world is a blessing and a gift despite the origin of conception. It is not the child’s fault.
Please, do let us know how you are doing,
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.