Salam,

Thank you for such a great question, which is a real concern for Muslim converts with non-Muslim family members. And I am so sorry that this has caused you grief. 

First, I think it is important to say that we cannot “convert” anyone. To suggest that you can just “convert” people goes against what we know about the Prophet’s (PBUH) experience and what Allah tells us in the Quran.

{Verily! You (O Muhammad) guide not whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills.} (Al-Qasas, 28:56)

All we can do is convey the message that God is utterly One, without partner, and that His messengers delivered that message throughout history. It is Allah who guides. If it were up to us to “convert” people, the Prophet (PBUH) would have converted his uncles and all those around him from the very start of his prophethood. But this was not up to him. And it is far from our own capability.

I am often asked a similar question: if I have “converted” my family to Islam yet. As if it is something I am capable of doing and I have just been negligent in getting around to it. It’s heartbreaking. And it comes from a place of ignorance, which is excusable because many heritage Muslims just don’t understand this concept. Many heritage Muslims will never understand this challenge of conveying the message of Islam to those they love most in a time a place where Islam is seen as foreign and even evil or dangerous.

Those who are nearest and dearest to the heritage Muslim are usually already Muslim. So, they feel it is natural and even easy for our families to be the same.  

Second, we have no knowledge of who Allah (SWT) will admit into heaven or hell. We are not the judges and we are told not to pass judgement on people. For someone to tell you that your non-Muslim family will burn in hellfire is an egregious error. We do not know what is in their heart. We do not know what Allah knows. Period.  

What we need to understand and know without a doubt is that Allah is The All Knowing, The Most Just, and The Most Merciful. God judges people based on what their intentions are, what their options are, what they were able to do, and what they were capable of understanding, as Dr. Shabir Ally explains in this video.

I hope this helps. Please keep in touch.

Salam.