As-salamu alaykum sister,

Shokran for writing in with your important concern. It is one many new parents face. Your sexual life with your husband is a very important part of marriage. It is a way in which couples connect physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is also a time in which intimate talking and bonding occur as well as cuddling and de-stressing. It is essential for both of you to maintain your connection to each other in this manner.

 

Your child who is two is old enough to sleep in a bed. You may have to go through a period of time wherein you acclimate your child to getting use to sleeping in their own bed, but in time your child will get use to it. I would kindly suggest that you prepare a fun, colorful welcoming room for your child and begin putting your child in his/her bed at night. Explain to your child that he/she is a big boy/girl now and that it is time for them to have their own room. You may want to put a night light in the room or use a white noise machine that has soothing sounds to help your child sleep.

 

Your child will probably come back into your bedroom as he/she is used to sleeping with you. However, if you are patient and consistent, eventually your child will get use to his/her new room and bed and insha’Allah be excited that it is his/her personal space. For the first few nights I would kindly suggest that you put your child in his/her bed. If he/she comes into your room, tell your child that they have their own wonderful room and put your child back in his/her bed. If the pattern continues or your child fusses and cries you may want to lie with your child in their bed until they fall asleep for the first week or so to ensure your child feels secure and knows that you are near. Eventually insha’Allah your child will get use to sleeping in his/her own bed very soon.

 

As far as your 6 moth old, your baby is still very young, however parents often do have their babies in separate rooms with a baby monitor on in case the baby wakes up or cries. Other parent’s opt to put a crib or bassinet in their bedrooms and have the child sleep in their room but not in their bed. It is nice to have our children sleep with us as it provides extra bonding time as well as creates a security for the child. However, it should be limited as it can create a dependence as the child grows older which may be unhealthy.

 

Additionally, as you are finding out, parents often lose that very important element of marital life which is intimacy when children are always in the bed or in the room. You should insha’Allah strive to make your bedroom a main place for you and your husband to bond and connect after a long day. That’s not to say that there can never be family nights in bed with the children watching cartoons and eating yummy foods together but it is to say that it should remain your and your husband’s private abode.

 

We wish you the best sister, and please do contact us if you have further questions.