Dear Brothers/Sisters,

Thank you very much for joining us in this Fatwa session. We would also like to thank our guest, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, for answering the questions directed to him.

Below are the answers for the first batch of questions; more answers will be added soon.

Q1. Intimacy after menstruation

My menstrual period ended today and after which I did the ritual bath, so I and my husband had intercourse and afterwards I saw blood. Is it possible, or we should’ve waited till the next day?

Answer

The appearance of white discharges at the end of the period indicates the expiry of the menses. You should determine the end of your period based on your regular pattern of menses. The pattern may vary, as some women experience menses for seven or eight days, while others may experience it for less or more. Once you see the clear white discharge at the end of your regular pattern, you need not worry about the streaks of blood after. If the white discharges did not appear, then the blood drops you experience are because of a continuation of menses — unless the bleeding exceeds fifteen days.

The Prophet’s wife, Aishah — as reported in the authentic sources — counselled menstruating women to wait for the appearance of clear white discharge to mark the end of menses.

We further learn from Umm Atiyyah: At the time of the Prophet, peace be upon him, women did not pay any attention to the brownish or pinkish streaks of blood, following the expiry of the menses (as determined by the appearance of clear white discharge at the end of the period).

Therefore, wait for the clear white discharge to appear at the end of your period before you make ghusl. If you do not see it, then you ought to make ghusl only if your bleeding exceeds fifteen days. The cut off point for the period is fifteen days; so, what one experiences afterwards cannot be reckoned as menses; rather, it is because of the chronic condition known as istihadah. With istihadhah, you ought to perform ghusl at the expiry of the period of menses (fifteen days is the maximum). Once you do so, you only need to wash your private parts, wear a pad and perform wudhu immediately prior to each Salah.

Q2. Need duaa for exam success and protection from black magic

Pls tell a dua for magic protection and success in exam?

I have doubts there might be black magic on my sister to block her mind from studying

Answer

Why do you think your sister is not focusing on her studies because of someone practicing black magic on her?

Before arriving at such a conclusion, ask if she needs professional counselling to see why she cannot focus on her studies. If she is in a university, I am sure they may have counselors she can consult to sort out her challenges; they may suggest practical tips to help her out.

I urge you to advise her to find a counselor.

As for your worry about black magic, our best protection and immunity against black magic is by empowering yourself through practicing Islam, reading the Qur’an and consistency in Dhikr and Du’a.

Allah has promised the faithful that devils cannot exercise permanent control over those servants of Allah who have submitted to Him; Satan can exercise permanent control only over those who surrender themselves to his authority. “Most certainly, My servants–you cannot exercise control over them except those who are deviant who follow you.” (Q. 15: 42) “Most certainly he (Satan) has no power over those who truly cherish faith and are trusting upon their Lord; rather his power is limited only to those who take him as a protector (besides God) and thus associate partners with Him” (Q. 16: 99-100).

The foremost requirement is to believe firmly that no one, however great his powers may be, can benefit or harm you, except if Allah wills it.

The Qur’an reminds us repeatedly that a genuine believer must believe firmly that Allah alone is the one who can give us benefit or harm in an absolute sense; everything that befalls us from humans or other creatures is only secondary and is achieved only through the power derived from Allah; so the best remedy and cure is to seek protection and refuge in Allah. Satan and all his tricks and weapons could be defeated and rendered utterly ineffective if Allah.

I give below a few selections of verses of the Qur’an and dua’s which you can recite on a regular basis:

1) Fatihah

2) Last three chapters of the Qur’an (i.e. Q. 112, 113, 114)

3) Ayat al-kursi (i.e. Q.2: 255)

Besides the above, repeat the following Du’as regularly both in the morning and evening, three times or more:

1) bismillaahi alladhee laa yadhurru ma’ ismihi sha’un fi al-ardhi wa laa fi al-ssamaa’i wa huwa al-ssamee’u al-a’aleem

(In the name of Allah; with His name, nothing whatsoever on earth or heaven can inflict any harm; He is all-Hearing and all-Knowing).

2) Hasbiya Allaahu laa ilaaha illaa huwa alayhi tawakkaltu wahuwa rabbu al-‘arshi al-azeem

(Allah suffices me; there is no god but He; in Him I place my sole trust; He is the Lord of the mighty Throne.)

3) Allaahumma inee a’udhu bika min hamazaati al-shayaateen wa a’udhu bika rabbi an yahduroon

(O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the whisperings of Satan; my Lord, I seek refuge in You from their presence around me.).

4) A’udhu bi ‘izzati Allaahi wa qudratihi mimma ajidu wa uhaadhiru

(I seek refuge in Allah’s glory and power from the affliction and pain I suffer from and worry about).

It is important to remember that Du ̔a and Dhikr will only benefit when it comes from a heart that firmly believes in Allah, and thus cherishes firm conviction in Allah’s power and sovereignty.

Q3. Husband leaving for umrah without settling family needs

My husband just decided today he will go to umrah in a few weeks without consulting with me. I asked him not to go but he refused to listen to me and tells me he made up his mind. The thing is I rely on him for transportation. I don’t drive and have two kids 3 and 2 year olds. 3 year old is in school and he drives her all the time on his way to work and my son has medical issues where he sees a specialist twice to 3 times per week and I take my daughter with us and my husband picks us up on his way home so I get help from him in transportation coming back home. I also work very early mornings and he drives me since all is on his way and near his job. It’s been tough dealing with everything that’s with the help I get from him so I can’t imagine doing it all alone when he’s gone I would not make it to work on time or even kids school and therapy. We live in a bad neighborhood (crimes, break ins, murder) and I sometimes don’t sleep when my husband stays out till the morning and he knows that I don’t feel safe I’ve been dealing with anxiety from our neighborhood that I’m afraid to walk outside with my kids without being paranoid but yet he decides to leave me stranded…i understand how beautiful it is to perform umrah and he keeps telling me that I’m wrong. But I can’t do it alone, I don’t want to be left alone, I don’t feel safe, I have noone and I still have my job and my dutied as a mom and maybe I sound pathetic but I truly feel like I can’t do it. I feel like the weight if the world is on my shoulders . I told him please go in the summer give me time to plan what I will do but unfortunately he thinks I’m being a pessimist and think negative and that I will be fine for just 2 weeks. Am I wrong? Please help me understand

Answer

Your husband’s decision to go for Umra when you depend on him for essential services cannot be justified. Umrah is not obligatory; to help you out, given your dependence on him, is obligatory. The Prophet (peace be upon him) warned husbands, “it is a grave sin for a person to neglect his family.” (Reported by Nasai)

The Prophet also said, “Allah will ask everyone how he discharged his responsibility towards those entrusted to his care.” (Reported by Ibn Hibban).

If he were to perform Umra while neglecting his family, his Umrah will not be accepted. He will regret it on the Day of judgment. This is the lesson that Abu Bakr, the first of the righteous caliphs, reminded Umar, while appointing him as his successor: Allah will not accept a voluntary good deed until the obligatory duty is performed. Anyone engaging in a voluntary act to the neglect of his obligatory duty, he is committing a sin. It is like a surgeon who is on call to perform surgery sitting in I’tikaf while he is on call. His I’tikaf is not acceptable. In conclusion, if he were to go for Umra in this situation, he would only waste his time and money and would reap no rewards; instead, he would incur a sin. So, I would advise him to postpone it until you overcome the challenges you are presently facing.

Q4. Relationship

Salaam alaikum

I had a boyfriend while I was married and now I am no longer with my husband. Now my boyfriend wants to marry me, can we get married?

Answer

You have committed a grave sin by engaging in an adulterous relationship with another man. A married man or woman cannot have girlfriends or boyfriends. You broke your marriage, which is another grave sin.

I urge you to seek repentance and ask forgiveness from Allah. Once you have done so, if he also has repented and changed, you may get married.

Q5. Allah’s Justice regarding people’s rights

Person 01 has violated person 02’s rights and did not tell the person 02, what the person 01 did to that person 02 fearing a bad relationship. But later on regrets what the person 01 did to that person 02 and repents sincerely to Allah and lives a pious life.

In the hereafter, it is expected that Allah will call out the person 02 and tell him what that person 01 did to the person 02 and ask that person 02 to forgive the person 01 as the person 01 has violated person 02’s rights but did not tell him and asked his forgiveness in this world.

My question is: is that true that Allah will also do justice in that way in the hereafter regarding other people’s right ?

Answer

I cannot really figure out the intent of your question. If you are asking about the justice of Allah, I can only answer it based on what Allah tells us in the Quran: Allah is Just; so, He has promised to bring the oppressors to justice. We read in Fathiha, Master of the Day of Reckoning, which means Allah is the One before whom everyone must stand for the final reckoning.

Allah also reminds us in the Quran that His scribes are recording, and He is also watching and witnessing all that we do. Therefore, no one can escape His reckoning.

Q6. 4 Rakat sunnah before Dhuhr

I have come to see that The 4 rakats sunnah we pray before dhuhr are supposed to be prayed by splitting it into 2 rakats. Can you pls tell me where and in which hadith it says that exactly. Thank you

Answer

One may pray either two rak’as followed by another two or four rak’as joined as we would do in dhuhr, asr or isha.

Both are valid options. Most scholars prefer praying them by splitting them in two rak ̔as each. They base it on an authentic tradition reported by Muslim on the authority of Ibn Umar when someone asked the Prophet about night prayer (i.e. tahajjud) he replied, “Night prayer should be prayed two rak ̔as and two rak ̔as each; but when you fear the approach of Fajr, close it off by praying one rak ̔ah of witr.”

We also learn from other traditions that the Prophet used to pray Sunna two rak’as followed by Salam.

However, there is no harm if anyone prays four rak’as without splitting them. It is reported that Ibn Umar used to pray sunan of the day as four rak ̔ahs without splitting them, while he used to pray the sunan of the night by splitting them into two rak ̔ahs each.

In conclusion, you are free to follow either of the two methods mentioned above.

Q7. Are subliminals shirk/haram?

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I just want to ask about subliminal videos you can find on youtube basically they are videos with rain or other sounds of nature and under those sounds they play positive affirmations to get good grades/improve memory or become more beautiful and so on and they play the affirmations in a very low sound that can only be heard by the subconscious mind(it was also scientifically proven) so is that shirk or haram? Because i have used them for concentration before and they’ve helped.

Answer

If they are the sound of nature or classical music with spiritually uplifting messages, there is no harm. One may use them if they help one relax and improve concentration and develop positive thought, thus making you more productive.

However, avoid them if they contain messages that are unethical or un-Islamic.

While making use of such aids, you should never neglect the use of dhikr. Dhikr has countless benefits, besides spiritual rewards. I would urge you to get a copy of the book Invocation of God by Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya and study and practice its lessons. You will gain tremendous benefits.

Q8. Severe social anxiety and hijab

Assalamu alaykum I just needed some advise as im becoming really unwell and don’t know what to do. I have been wearing hijab for couple months and have done so in the past but removed it for similar reasons. I have severe social anxiety panic attacks/disorder and it worsens when wearing the hijab. I start shaking hardly leave the home and get panic attacks racing heart and constantly worry I’ve noticed since putting the hijab my anxiety has gone worse is there any advice you can give it’s affecting my health I’m having therapy on antidepressants pray 5 times a day, can I remove my hijab because of my medical condition?

Answer

I am afraid you are suffering from a phobia; you should seek the help of a counsellor who should be able to advise you how to overcome this phobia.

Why do you fear hijab? Perhaps you may be confusing hijab with wearing an abaya or black attire covering from head to feet. The requirements of proper attire for a woman can be met by wearing any loose-fitting attire, including trousers and shirts as long it is modest.

For further details, let me cite here one of my earlier answers on this:

It is important to remember that the purpose of hijab in Islam is not to cut out women from participating in the activities of the society or to keep men and women utterly segregated or to make it hard for her to function normally in life. Rather, the purpose of hijab is to help woman maintain her dignity and honour as a free person and help her fulfil her obligations smoothly and comfortably.

So, the requirements of hijab are never oppressive or restrictive in any way; here are the requisites of hijab or proper Islamic attire for women:

1) It should cover her whole body except face and hands.

2) It should be loose fitting.

3) It should not be transparent nor revealing.

4) It should not be an attire specifically worn by men only.

So long as your attire fulfils the above conditions, you don’t have to worry. Remember, Allah has not revealed religion to make life difficult; rather, it should make it easy for us. Allah says, “He has not laid upon you in religion any hardship” (Qur’an: 22: 78). “Allah wishes to lighten the burden for you; for certainly man/woman has been created weak!” (Qur’an: 4: 28).

Q9. Forgot to cover awrah in prayer

if a person forgets to cover her awrah and notices after she prays, is her prayer valid?

Answer

If you did so intentionally, then you ought to repeat the Salah. If, however, it was by mistake and you recognized it only later, then you don’t need to repeat it. 

Q10. Is wearing light makeup in front non-Mahram haram?

Is wearing light makeup in front non-Mahram haram? For example: she is not applying makeup for non- Mahram but she is going to a wedding, and she wants to wear light makeup but there are non-Mahram in the wedding. When she will see a non-Mahram, she will cover her face. Is that okay?

Answer

It is best you avoid make-ups that are enticing or attracting the attention of the opposite sex. You may, however, wear skin lotions that are healthy and nourishing for the skin.

We may do well to remind ourselves that we are accountable for the messages we send others by our appearance.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered us to shun the dubious. By doing so, we are better enabled to safeguard our honour and faith. If, however, we are not careful we may end up committing the haram.

So, I advise you to consult your conscience.

Q10. Please help! Ill and hopeless after years of abuse

Asa

I’m in desperate need of help. I’m exhausted after enduring years of abuse from my family. I had an arranged/forced marriage at 17 in Pakistan to my first cousin on my mums side. I was a very neive, trusting and well behaved child who listened to everything my family said and never stepped a foot out of line. My then husband who was my first cousin on my mums side begin abusing me from the very start on the marriage.

The abuse was phsical and psychological. Few months into my marriage he strangled me to the point I thought I was going to pass out and die because I asked to go to the shops with him to buy my nephews gifts. This abuse continued and I opened upto my mum and she said I should be patient and she will fix things.

I counted to get abused and my mum did nothing. I went to her again and begged her to help me saying I can’t be with him anymore I’m scared and the abuse is too much. She put me in touch with my auntie who is my mums sister who told me I should give his details name dob ect and she will get it dealt with. She said that’s how she controls her husband and he does everything she wants. Instantly I felt this was wrong and realised she wanted to get black magic done on him. Growing up both my parents openly teased each other about which of them was the bigger black magician. I caught the same auntie putting taveez into our drinks and said its good for us. And her daughter told me she has a jinn in her but it’s a good one and once when stopping at their house she told me sometimes when she prays to find out who is doing bad towards her family something comes and throws her around the room and then she will be given a sign such as the person will then get an injury.

I knew I wanted nothing to do with any of this from a young age and with the little knowledge I had of Islam as my family never taught me or my siblings how to pray or only spoke about Islam as a way to control us I still knew it was wrong. Anyway I managed leave my ex husband after he beat me while I was pregnant because he wanted to take my savings as he never provided in the 5 years of marriage I paid for everything.

My family pretty much disowned me and my son because of me leaving him and refusing another arranged marriage from Pakistan straight after getting myself and son out of the abusive marriage. For years I was left with no family support contact and I have major depression anxiety and became more sick trying to bring up a child all alone with no guidance or anyone to talk to or turn to.

I was to scared to open up to extended family as they would side with my family I think. And all the blame was put on me by my ex and my own family. Years later they threated to take my son from me after trying to put the blame on me for serious family issues they had going on. My younger nephew was trying to run away saying he had been abused by family all his childhood and witnessed them doing very bad things. They tried to blame me saying my nephew was lying and I had put him on drugs. Even though I had no contact with family for a long time.

I decided to take my son and leave the area. I cut ties with family for 4 years but believed Allah would punish me for this. So I reconnected with them in the hope things had changed. Long story short things got even worse this time they blamed more stuff on me and my mental health was affected badly and I was suicidal. I’m writing to ask can I cut ties with them when talking to them causes me extreme mental anguish, fear and pain and pushes me away from my deen. Please help. Jazak’Allah

Answer

I am deeply saddened by your sad predicament and pray to Allah to give you relief, comfort, and peace of mind.

I feel strongly that you need to go for professional counselling and therapy to undergo healing, as you had a very lengthy traumatic experience. For this, you need to ask your physician to refer you to a professional; do not be happy with anyone who is not a trained professional.

You should also back it up through a spiritual regimen of constancy in dhikr and du ̔as. I would urge you to get a copy of the book entitled Invocation of God by Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya; you should study it and practice its lessons; I am sure you will gain the spiritual strength to face your challenges with the help of Allah.

Coming to whether keeping away from your relatives who continue to hurt you and harm you, you may do so while not completing all ties with them. You should occasionally send them a note or message of good will and offer prayers for them. And never stop praying to Allah to open their hearts to recognize their mistakes and hurtful behaviour towards you.

Q11. Husband’s financial support

Should a husband give his wife all financial support when she stay at her fathers home?

Please tell me the details

Answer

A husband’s responsibility to provide financial support begins only after the consummation of marriage. If the marriage is not consummated and she is living with her parents, then he is not responsible for it.

For further details, let me cite her one of my earlier answers:

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Men are the upholders and maintainers of women by virtue of that in which God has favored some of them above others and by virtue of their spending from their wealth. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [their husband’s] absence what God has guarded. As for those from whom you fear discord and animosity, admonish them, then leave them in their beds, then strike them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Truly God is Exalted, Great.” (Qur’an: 4: 34).

The above verse and others state clearly that a husband is entitled to provide for his wife after marriage. However, he should do so according to his means according to the standards of the society they are living in. Therefore, when Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, complained to the Prophet, saying that her husband did not provide sufficiently for her and her children, the Prophet told her: You may avail yourself of his wealth what you need in moderation. (Reported by Bukhari)

However, the question arises: when does this responsibility fall on the husband?

The scholars believe it does not follow automatically after the nikah; instead, it should begin only after they consummate the marriage.

Therefore, she cannot demand this right if she is living with her parents and the husband can not establish intimacy with her.

Q12. Long regular menstruation impacting emaan

Assalamu alaikum, my menses lasts around 10-12 days and the absence from salah and confusion around when i should make ghusl each month is causing a lot of anxiety and guilt. My emaan and mood dips severely every single month due to the length of time away from salah. Please could you advise on how i could address this? May Allah bless and reward you.

Answer

You need to ask first whether your bleeding is menses related or istihadha. The way to check it by consulting a gynecologist or by checking the blood or was it the pattern you had since you started menstruating? Although menses could last 12 days, it is more common to last only six or seven days.

So, if therefore you can make a distinction and can conclude it may be istihadah then you can make ghusl and resume prayers after the expiry of menses.

Suppose your menses lasts up to 12 days, then you simply accept the fact that it is Allah’s will. The Prophet told Aishah as she was upset over the fact that her menses started while she was on the way to Hajj he told her: [There is no need to worry] “as it is something Allah has decreed for the daughters of Adam”.

So, instead of looking at it as a curse or in a negative light, one should accept the divine wisdom. When Allah described menses a state of impurity or stated differently, it is more like the body releasing harmful toxins, which is good for a woman’s health.

That is why Islam wants women’s freedom from rigorous duties and rituals. Allah wants you to not overexert yourself.

So, you need not brood over the fact you cannot pray or fast; you can still earn the rewards for the same by doing other good deeds you can do so easily. As Imam Shah Waliullah said that divine mercy wills that if a person cannot do something because of circumstances they have no control over they can be compensated for the loss by the good deeds they can do.

So, a woman who is menstruating can reap the same benefits by making dhikr or other good deeds they can.

Q13. Interest only buy-to-let mortgages

Are interest only buy-to-let mortgages halal? In this transaction, a customer will approach a bank to purchase a property. The bank keeps the title deed. A customer of the bank can rent out the house. The customer then pays back a portion of the rent to the bank. In this mortgage the payments do not increase the customers equity in the house.

Answer

A house in Islam is a basic need and the right of every individual. It comes under the category of hajah; according to the rules of jurisprudence, a hajah can be raised to the level of a dharura in exceptional cases.

Based on this, if a person cannot find cash or interest-free loans to buy a house he can make use of the bank mortgage system.

It is my understanding that according to the mortgage system, it is you the purchaser of the house who owns the house, unlike the method followed by the ‘so-called Islamic housing plans’. The bank method is fairer and less costly than the so-called Islamic finance, as pointed out by objective scholars.

So, I do not see any harm going for a mortgage if you are buying a modest house for your family.

This is the ruling of jurists like Yusuf al-Qardawi. I understand, it is also the opinion of the European Fatwa council and other eminent scholars of al-Azhar.

Q14. Forgetting a rakah in prayer

If you forget a rakat in prayer do you make the whole prayer over or do you make the one you miss plus the sujud prayer with it?

Answer

If you miss a rak’a, and you realized the mistake before engaging in any other work, then you can make it by praying it and offering two prostrations or sajdahs before Salam.

Ibn Qudamah says, if a person forgot to pray one or more rak ̔ahs and he remembered it before too long an interval he should resume and complete where he left it and his Salah is still valid. We are told in a report that once the Prophet, while praying Asr forgot and said salam after the third rak ̔ ah; then he went back and completed the prayer by offering another rak ah  after he was reminded and he offered two prostrations before the salam to compensate for the mistake.

The gap should not be too long; if, for instance, he went and engaged in other activities then he should repeat the entire Salah.

Q15. Practicing non hijabi

I know if it is recommended or not and that I have responsibility to encourage , but I want to know if I have a SIN if I marry a woman without hijab and do I have SIN each time she goes out without hijab or before non- mahram people if I encourage her to put hijab after nikah ?

Answer

Both husband and wife have the duty of advising each other to be steadfast in Islam; however, after all, a woman like a man is a free agent and is accountable for her actions. The husband’s duty is to advise and not to coerce or compel.

I would advise you before getting into these disputes, your best option is to choose a woman who is steadfast in the practice of Islam.

Otherwise, you may end up in endless conflicts. The Prophet (peace be upon him) directed us to go for a person with sound religion and character. He also told us that this world is a temporary sojourn; and the best companion one can have as a helper is a righteous woman. (Reported by Muslim).

Q16. Can a single daughter work and drive in Islam?

Assalamu Alaikum, I am Sarah, an 18 year old female who lives in the United States, and currently a college student. Like everyone else I too, have my own dreams which is to become an ultrasound technician and to work professionally one day with that career. Although my life right now is currently going through some struggles because my father and older brother are trying to stop me in any way possible from learning how to drive and work in the future. They tell me that I am not allowed to work or drive until marriage. And marriage is something far from what I even want to think about, I don’t wish to get married anytime soon. But I just wanted to ask, as long as I do follow the Islamic guidelines of a women being able to work outside the home as a single female, (which alhamdulliah I do follow these guidelines) am I still allowed to work and learn how to drive? And if I do, am I considered sinful? Please let me know I need answers badly. Jazzak Allahu Khair.

Answer

As an adult, you are free to have goals and dreams in life like everyone else. That you are a woman should not stop you from pursuing them. Neither your parents nor your husband can stop you from pursuing goals as long as they are not at the expense of your greater priorities or obligations. As the pious Caliph Abu Bakr advised his successor, Umar: Allah will not accept a voluntary good deed until they perform the duties that are obligatory on them.

Driving is an essential skill in the modern world if you are living in some of the so-called developed countries. So, you are justified in learning to drive for your own survival. Likewise, training yourself for a career to earn a lawful income is also important so that you do not become dependent on others.

Therefore, it is wrong for your father or older brother to stop you from pursuing these legitimate goals. If you do so without their consent, you are not committing a sin. However, you must do so while being assured of your own safety and security.

Q17. Offering prayers without ghusl After watching porn

If a girl watched porn or masturbated And she wanted to pray can she pray nimaz without ghusul or bath

Answer

You should stop this addiction to save your faith and honour. You should see if a counsellor can advise you how you can break free of this harmful habit. There are counsellors appearing on this site from time to time. Please contact the editor to get the details.

Now coming to whether you can pray without ghusl, the answer is no. If you did discharge or experienced orgasm, you ought to perform ghusl. It is also safe to do ghusl in case of doubt.

Q18. Money from Questionable Sources

What’s the ruling on receiving money from the one whose income his haram

Answer

If a person is helping you out from a stolen money or from gambling or trades or work that is purely harm, you may not accept it. If, however, that is not the case, and only part of his income is from haram sources, then you may accept it. The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to accept gifts from the people of the book and others whose income is tainted with haram.

Q19. Keeping romantic books

Is it haram for me to read romantic books or keep them in my house? If its haram to keep romantic books in my house can i sell or gift them?

Answer

You can’t keep these books if they are obscene and contain nudity. If, however, they are free of such obnoxious contents, you may keep them. If something is haram, then you cannot gift it to another person. It is like asking if I cannot keep poison, can I gift it to another person?

One of the basic rules of Islam is that just as we should not do that which is haram, we should not condone it or facilitate it.

Q20. Husband’s parents or wife’s parents?

Which function do wife need to attend if both(husband’s and wife’s parents)have decided to conduct different function at same day?

Also,

Which function do wife’s parents need to attend if both (husband’s parents and wifes parents)of them have unavoidable family function at the same day?

Answer

You should balance them both as best as you can. If you are, however, constrained by time, see if your husband pays more attention to help his parents so that you can devote more time to help your parents.

It would also be a good idea if both of you can sit down and come up with a compromise whereby you can achieve a balance in doing justice to both your parents and his parents.

Q21. Can an HIV Positive Person Perform Hajj?

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Can an HIV positive person go for Hajj?

Answer

According to my research, HIV transmission only occurs through sexual contact and not through everyday interaction. If this information is correct and there is no risk of transmission during the Hajj pilgrimage, then it is possible for an HIV positive person to go. I suggest consulting a doctor for further guidance.

Q22. Husband asks wife to Sext with another man

My husband want us to do threesome sexting with another guy online but no exchange of body pictures and no physical interactions also. It’s like he is obsessed on the idea of watching someone else sexting with me while he just watches us sexchat and then after sextchat my husband and me make love using same thread idea as the guy with whom I will do sexchat

My husband is nearly forcing me to do it for his pleasure—he says.

Answer

Before answering your question, I pray to Allah to save us all from perversions and practices that are filthy and repulsive.

Never entertain such thoughts if both of you are keen to save your faith and honour.

How can a believing husband ask his wife to engage in sex chat with another man and take pleasure in it? Only a person who has lost his natural trait of haya’ (modesty) can do so; likewise, only a woman who has lost her sense of natural haya’ can even respond to it positively.

This is a sign of moral bankruptcy that has developed in consumerist societies, and it is influencing even the so-called religious people. The Prophet had already warned Muslims when he said, “O Muhajireen, I pray you do not live to witness any of the five things that are going to happen (during the end-times):” The first thing he mentioned is: “when promiscuous behaviour becomes rampant in a society and they publicize it, there will appear among them epidemics and diseases that were unknown to their ancestors!

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Never expose your awrah before anyone other than your spouse.” 

So, how can you expose yourself before another man, even though your husband wants you to do so for his own pleasure? I wonder what kind of pleasure he gets from allowing another man to be intimate with you? How can you, as a Muslimah, even entertain such thoughts in the first place?

Although the above practices are considered perversions, Islam teaches us to celebrate our sexuality within the bounds of marriage as long as we stay clear of certain forbidden practices. For details, let me cite here one of my earlier answers: 

“Thanks to Islam’s positive view of sexuality, it considers conjugal union between the spouses as an act of worship; thus the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “You have rewards of charity in your intimate union with your spouse!” When the companions enquired, ‘how can we be getting rewards for fulfilling our carnal desires?’ he replied, “what if he/she were to fulfill it through illicit union; will they not be punished? They said, ‘of course’; so he informed them that, likewise, when they fulfill it within the bounds of marriage, they will be rewarded.

Marriage partners are, therefore, encouraged to be creative in their sexual expressions as long as they operate within the permissible bounds. When we truly understand Islamic perspective on this issue, we will come to recognize that we have sufficiency in what Allah has permitted for us so that we stand in no need of resorting to what He has declared as haram for us, and that Allah has permitted us everything that is good for us, while He has forbidden only that which is filthy, impure and harmful for us. 

Thanks to Islam’s positive view of sexuality, marriage partners are encouraged to appear attractive by taking due care of their bodies and doing everything possible to make sexual activity as pleasurable, recreational, and mutually satisfying an experience as possible. It is equally important for the couple to know that sexual relationship must never detach from one’s compassionate treatment and true partnership with one’s spouse; thus, men are ordered to be extremely sensitive in caring for the sensibilities of their partners. The Prophet, peace be upon him, forbade men from jumping into beds without proper foreplays. Thus, the very notion of coercing one’s partner into sexual activity without his/her willing participation is repugnant to Islamic conscience. 

Here is a brief list of sexual taboos which all married couples must observe in Islam:

1) As Islam views conjugal union and husband and wife relations as extremely dignified and confidential, one may not engage in such acts in public or while others are watching; it is also forbidden to divulge one’s sexual exploits with one’s partner to anyone else. The Prophet, peace be upon him, refers to such behaviour as Satanic and hence not befitting of humans;

2)Anal intercourse is totally forbidden; however, partners may derive sexual pleasure from intimate rubbing of any other part of the body or through oral stimulation so long acts are done consensually;

3)Sadistic practices, such as deriving carnal pleasure by inflicting pain or chaining one’s partner, etc. are all forbidden as they are considered as degrading and inhumane;

4)Sexual intercourse in the vagina is forbidden during a woman’s menstrual period and during the postnatal period; one must wait until the bleeding stops and she has performed ghusl (ritual bath);

5)Sexual intercourse or intimate touching or caressing, etc. are forbidden while fasting, or in the state of ihram;

6)So-called group sex (regardless of whether it is done between consenting married partners or others) is an abomination and grave sin; it is sinful even to entertain such thoughts;

7)There is no taboo on partners masturbating each other or having sexual intimacy or fulfillment during menses and during the postnatal period of bleeding— provided sexual intercourse in the vagina is avoided. 

8)It is haram to engage in intimate sexual union with one’s partner while imagining or visualizing other men or women. 

Finally, let us pray to Allah to keep our hearts steadfast on what He has permitted for us; may He make us all cherish and love faith and embellish our hearts with it, and may He make us hate disbelief, transgression and disobedience; and may the Beneficent Lord also save us all from all of the evil inclinations inherent in our carnal souls-aameen.”

Q23. Childhood mistakes

Asalamualeikum, I’m a muslim teenager: when I was below the age of 13, I made some mistakes involving other people, or just me (nothing very serious, and I’m not 100% sure if they hurt someone) but now my mind is playing tricks and making me believe that a did something worst, Wich I did not think about until I started to get obsessed with this. How can I get rid of these intrusive thoughts? I know that if your actions involve other people you must apologize, I have asked this person to forgive me if I ever did something that hurt her and she told me that I have always been nice towards her, and if I did something wrong it’s because I was a child.

Please is there any Duah that I can make to erase these negative thoughts? I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just want to be that little child who dreamed to be Allah’s friend.

Answer

You ought to dismiss this waswas or whispering doubts. Such thoughts are planted in your heart by Satan. You can only save yourself from them by seeking refuge and protection in Allah.

Allah says, “If any suggestion from Satan assails you, then seek God’s protection, for He hears and knows (all things). Those who bring (God) to mind when an evil thought from Satan assails them are reminded (of their allegiance to God), and suddenly they can see clearly again! However, their (evil) ‘brothers’ will always seek to plunge them into error, and they never let up.” (Qur’an: 7: 200-202).

Read the supplication of sayyid al-istighfaar, given below, in the morning after fajr, as well as before retiring to bed at night:

Allaahumma anta rabbee laa ilaaha illaa anta, khalqtanee wa ana `abduka, wa ana `alaa ahdika wa wa`dika mastata`tu a`udhu bika min sharri maa sana`tu abu’u laka bi ni`matika `alayya wa abu’u bi dhanbee fa ghfir lee fa innahu laa yaghfiru adh-dhunooba illaa anta

( O Allah, You are my Lord; there is no god but You. You have created me, and I am Your servant. To the best of my ability, I stand by my covenant with you. I seek refuge in You from the evils of my actions. I recognize Your favours upon me, and I confess my sins before You, so forgive me, since You alone have the power to forgive sins.)

By offering the above du ̔a regularly you are asking forgiveness of Allah for all your sins. So, that would be sufficient for you to take care of the other concerns you have about your actions in the past as long as you are steadfast in your practice of Islam.

May Allah help us remain steadfast and seal our life with good deeds. Amen.

Editor’s Note: In case you find yourself unable to stop these thoughts for long time and they are posing difficulties to your normal life, please seek help by a qualified therapist because this case may be a form of Obsessives Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Q23: About dream

I am dreaming about a guy who is my class-fellow but i never talked to him in 4 years and have no plan to do so. In my dream, I see many people but i only recognize him and sometimes he is my husband in a dream. Sometimes he is ignoring me and sometimes he is trying to talk to me. I am seeing these dreams for the past 4 years continuously. He is in my every dream and i prayed to Allah lot and even kept fasts not to see him in my dreams. I dislike him at all and even I did not know his name for a year. I am just confused a lot.

Please answer this.

Answer:

There is no need to worry about this dream. You simply need to seek refuge and protection in Allah, who alone can render a benefit or inflict harm. The Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered us to read the following dua three times when we experience bad dreams:

Bismillaahi alladhee laa yadhurru ma’a ismihi shay’un fi al-ardhi walaa fi al-ssamaa’i wahuwa al-ssamee’u al-aleem

(In the name of Allah; with His name, nothing on earth or heaven can do any harm. He is all-Hearing and all-Knowing.)

On further details on the Islamic teachings on dreams, let me cite here one of my earlier answers:

Dreams, as we can safely infer from the Islamic sources, are of three types: The first of these is termed mubasshiraat, which are sound dreams that imply glad tidings. They result from angelic inspirations or suggestions cast by Allah in our consciousness. Referring to such dreams, the Prophet (peace be on him) said: “Nothing of the prophecy remains now (i.e., after his own call to prophethood) except sound visions, which are granted to a righteous believer, and it makes up one thirtieth of prophecy.”

This type of dream can include premonitions or intimations of things that might happen in the future. For instance, a believer may experience a vision about his own imminent death, or some future events to occur, or receive some confirmation of his spiritual states, or even reminders/admonitions about his omissions or commissions. These may include visions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him) or other prophets and communications with them, or visions of symbols of Islam, such as the Ka ̔ ba or the Prophet’s Mosque, etc.

A second type of dream results from satanic whisperings or inspirations. Satan, the avowed enemy of man, is ever- present with us and he sees us in ways that we do not see him. Unless we take proper safeguards against him and such inspirations, he may trap us in his nets. He inspires in us all kinds of thoughts and suggestions, both in conscious and unconscious states. A person may be predisposed to such satanic visions and inspirations if he is constantly exposed to sights, sounds, and thoughts that are obscene or filthy.

A third type of dream can be termed as ‘idle dreams’, and they are due to the impact of unpalatable foods, or the over- exercise of one’s imaginations, or experiences in life which might also be reflected in one’s dreams.

A person experiencing a pleasant vision is encouraged to share it with others—especially with those who are trustworthy and God-fearing; but if he/she experiences a bad dream, he/she is advised against disclosing it to anyone. In the latter case, immediately after experiencing such a dream, he/she is recommended to change the sleeping position, perform dry spitting three times on the left side, and seek refuge in Allah from the evil of the dream and Satan. The Prophet (peace be upon him) stated that this will protect from any potential harm. 

 Also, it is recommended to repeat the following du’aa three times before going to bed: 

Bismillaahi alladhee laa yadhurru ma’a ismihi shay’un fi al-ardhi walaa fi al-ssamaa’i wahuwa al-ssamee’u al-aleem

“In the name of Allah; with His name, nothing on earth or heaven can harm; He is the all-Hearing, all-Knowing.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised repeating this in the morning and night for protection from evils and harms.

Referring to this, the Prophet (peace be on him) said, “thus he/she will be spared of any potential harm.”

While the first type of dream (i.e. mubasshiraat) is what every believer should seek and strive for, he/she must surely guard against the second type of dream.

The surest way to block Satanic inspirations and whisperings is by taking refuge in Allah and through cultivating the habit of consistency in dhikr, right thinking, right living and right conduct. It is, therefore, highly recommended to go to bed in a state of purity, after having recited portions of the Qur’an (such as the surahs of Fatihah, Ikhlaas, Falaq and al-Nnas as well as Aayat al-Kursi), and to immerse oneself in dhikr and salah (i.e. saying blessings and sending salutations) on the Prophet (peace be on him) before one lapses into a state of sound sleep.

Q24: Stealing money

I had questions regarding my stealing habit I regrets of thinking that now my age is 25 . When I was 10 years old at 3 rd std I was studying at that time I had to buy small sticker which cost 2 rupees I lied to my mother that I wanted 2 rupees for school purpose she came to know that I was lieing and she didn’t gave me money so I stole the money from her bag that was my first stole moment that I knew and I remembered after that I didn’t stole any penny from my mother and I didn’t wanted her to know my habit of stealing. After 15 years where I have been place for a job as a sales men in the shop the owner came to know that I am trust worthy he believed in me he started to left the shop with me first 1 month I didn’t stole any money after some couple of months my mind started to keep on turning that when I saw the cash counter I feel like I should take 100 bucks every day my mind motivated me to take 100 bucks from the drawers but I couldn’t control my self and 1 day I stole 100 bucks from that day I started to steal now it’s 9 months in that firm still last week I have stolen the money every time I seek forgiveness after namaz and I repent my self and even I know I am doing wrong it’s not my money but still if I hadn’t taken my mind would feel like I should take it.this is my problem I should overcome it please guide I don’t know how to overcome these situations .once I thought of reveling my bitter truth to the owner but it’s not possible for me but from deep inside I feel guilty but I am helpless

Answer:

You have tainted your income with lots of unlawful earnings. The Prophet has warned us of terrible consequences unless we come clean of such incomes or earnings.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “O people, Allah is Pure, and He accepts only that which is pure. Indeed, Allah issued the same commandments to the believers that he ordered the messengers, saying, “O Messengers, eat of the things that are pure (and lawful) and do good works. Certainly, I am aware of what you do.” Then he cited the example o a person who has traveled vast distances (and appears at the sacred sites offering supplications) and holds out both of his hands to the sky calling upon Allah saying, “My Lord, My Lord, all the while the food he consumes is earned through Haram, his drink comes from Haram and his clothes are also from Haram and his entire body is nourished by Haram; how can he expect his prayer to be heard by Allah?” (Reported by Muslim).

The Prophet in another hadith calls a person who has robbed people or abused them or beaten them or shed their blood as the most bankrupt person of his Ummah, and on the day of judgment he will be called to repay them. Since the only way to repay them would be through one’s good deeds, his good deeds will be given to them, and then he would be thrown to the fire-pit.

Therefore, I urge you to make an educated guess of the monies you have unlawfully taken and give them out in charities, if you cannot give them to the rightful owners. That is the only way you can redeem yourself. You should also seek repentance and beg for Allah’s mercy while doing other voluntary good deeds to expiate yourself.

Editor’s note:

If this urge to steal is persistent and you are unable to control it, you are recommended to seek out a qualified therapist for assessment and treatment because this might be a form of OCD that needs treatment. As therapists may specialize in different areas, please ask if the therapist is experienced in OCD, addictions, mood disorders and trauma. Please read this counsel for more info:

I Can’t Control My Urge of Stealing & Lying

Q25: Astrology

Dear sheikh,

My question is one that has been distressing me a lot – does reading astrology in a book or on a website or watching it while your watching something etc. make you commit shirk?

This thought has recently started bothering me A LOT, I can’t pray in peace, and since I like to read and watch stuff, the possibility of astrology coming up keeps bothering me and giving me anxiety. I know that some of the books and things I read and watch can be considered a waste of time and even sinful at times, but I really don’t want to commit kufr or shirk, and these kind of recurring anxieties really just eat at me. I don’t believe in astrology at all.

Also, could you please give me some advice me on how to deal with this sort of waswas on committing kufr or shirk, sometimes I get these kind of doubts that spiral out of control and start to give me a lot of stress and anxiety. Thankyou so much.

Answer:

Generally speaking, astrology is not a science; it is guesswork and entails speaking of the unseen or hidden realities based on mere speculation; as such, it is considered as shirk. At best it distracts people from hard work and striving as we are ordered to do, in order achieve beneficial goals; instead, it keeps us occupied with unnecessary anxieties and worries. It is also sheer wastage of time and resources. Therefore, no Muslim should pay attention to such superstitious practices.

It is simply based on guesswork and speculation about the future with no scientific basis. Islam is opposed to it, just as it is opposed to all forms of superstitions and irrational practices.

There are so many ills associated with astrology, fortune telling and palmistry: They breed laziness and sloth and encourages charlatans to exploit the gullible and credulous people. The prayer of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was the following: “O Allah, I seek refuge in You from helplessness, laziness, cowardice, and miserliness.”

Because palmistry entails speaking of Al-Ghayb (things exclusively known by Allah) based on mere guesswork, it is contrary to tawheed (belief in the Oneness of Allah), which is the cornerstone of Islam. Therefore, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned the faithful against indulging in such practices. He said, “Whoever visits a foreteller [which includes palmists, tarot readers, etc.] and believes in his [or her] words has denied what was revealed to Muhammad [i.e. the Qur’an].”

He also said, “Whoever goes to a fortune-teller and asks him [or her] about something and then believes in his [or her] words will have his [or her] Prayer rejected for 40 days.”

Therefore, you are advised to break this addiction; it is highly destructive; it is bound to undermine your faith in Allah. By continuing this habit, you are wasting your previous time; any time you waste in it is done at the expense of far more healthy and productive work you could do. As behavioural scientists teach us you cannot break a bad habit unless you pick up another positive habit. So, develop another pleasant habit, a habit that is beneficial for you and the community. Remember, we will be accountable before Allah for everything we did on this earth. We will benefit only from works that are pleasing to Allah. And we will regret for wasting our time on frivolous pursuits. I know astrology, horoscope and palm reading, etc. are not the works you will be happy to present to Allah, when you stand before Him for final reckoning.  May Allah help us safeguard our faith against the actions that undermine or diminish it. Amen.

Editor’s note:

You are recommended to seek out a qualified therapist for assessment and treatment because this might be a form of OCD that needs treatment. As therapists may specialize in different areas, please ask if the therapist is experienced in OCD.