Salam. I am 28 yrs old and pressure of getting is increasing but of recent i met a young man over social media meaning av not seen him, we only communicate via phone and we already set a date to meet. My knowledge on istikharah is that when u perform it, you go for what you think is best, so after observing the istikharah and after deep thought, i came to the conclusion that it might not work since his iman is not as strong as i want it to be though he said he can get better but part of me feels its easier said than done and his wattsapp status is not encouraging at all. i dont no if turning him down is the best thing to do especially with my age.
My second question is on hijab, finding job is hard , i av been advised to use turban instead(which i honestly dont want to do) so as to increase my chances of finding a job and in time too. Am confused, i need a job badly.
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
You did well when you prayed istikharah. The weakness of this man’s faith and other signs you noticed are enough to turn him down and turn over a new leaf.
Cyberspace is not the proper place to look for a husband. You will likely meet pretenders and cheaters and waste your time. I strongly advise you to quit this search and look for a husband in real world. Come closer to Allah, pray to Him earnestly to grant you a pious husband, and be sure that your prayers will never be in vain. After all, everything is in His Sublime Hands.
As for the second question, basically a woman should remain at home as indicated by the Quranic injection “And abide reverently in your homes. Nor shall you flaunt your beauty and adornment, like the flaunting of [women in] the former times of ignorance. Rather, [duly] establish the Prayer. And give the Zakat-Charity. And obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove all [traces of] defilement from you, O People of the [Prophet’s] Household, and to purify you [in spirit] with [a virtuous] purification.” (Al0ahzab 33:33)
Though this injunction is directed to the wives of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), all Muslim women are included a fortiori, since Prophet’s wives are models for them. Besides, of course, Allah intends to remove traces of defilement from all Muslims and to purify their spirits.
However, a Muslim woman may go out to work under the following regulations:
1- She has to be in need for the job in order to earn her livelihood. Or, if she is not in need, there should be a need in the society for her profession and thus she may work for the sake of public interest.
2- The job should be suitable for her physical and psychological nature.
3- She has to observe the Islamic code of conduct and dress for a Muslim woman.
4- There should be no intermingling with men as far as possible. But, if necessary, it has to be within a very limited scope; and the Islamic code of conduct and dress for a Muslim woman must be observed.
5- The job should not require her to travel without a mahram (non-marriageable relative).
6- The job should not distract a woman from taking care of her household or fulfilling her family duties.
Accordingly, if you are in need for a job, you may look for it keeping the above regulations in your mind. Your hijab is part of your Islamic identity, which you may not tolerate. Always recall the Quranic principle, “And whoever fears Allah, He shall make for him a way out [of every difficulty].” (At-Talaq 65:2)
Once again, turn to your Lord and ask Him to keep you steadfast on His religion, grant you a good husband to support you financially.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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