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Feeling Confused? Our Life Coach Provides Help

Dear Brother/Sisters,

Thank you for participating in the session with your questions.

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Here are the 8 questions our counselor provided an answer for

If you do not find yours below, please submit it to the following counseling session. Thank you for your understanding.

Question 1. No Interest in Getting Married

Asc. My question is how I can get married when I was never shown interest. All my friends are married with kid while here I’m dealing with damaged self-esteem. Please share working ways not the repetitive that we always hear about

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Answer:

Question 2.  Doing Sports Modestly

Salaam Alaykum wa rahmatullAllahi wa barakatūh. So i’m currently doing some sports. My parents want me to finish this sport but it involves free mixing, not the proper modest clothes etc. I already explained to them that i want to stop this immediately, but they still force me to go to the sport. I’m i sinful for this? I also do another sport that sometimes when i don’t know non mahrams are present. At the time i’m doing the sport there are only women, but around like the visitors are non mahram men.  What do i do?

Answer:

Question 3. The Correlation Between Domestic Abuse and Narcissism

Salaam sister

My question is regarding the correlation between Narcissism and Domestic abuse. I am a victim of domestic abuse myself. It seems like today’s buzzword is “Narcissism” I hear it everywhere

What I want ask, if they are linked and do abusers have traits of Narcissism or other personality disorders? Jzk Sam

Answer:

Question 4. I Can’t Get Myself to Read Quran

I am a Muslim, in a Muslim society. About 6 or 7 years ago, I started praying and trying to follow Islam. About 5 or 6 years ago, I started having intrusive thoughts and OCD behaviors. I had a bad lifestyle since middle school or before: staying up late, sleeping all day, eating snacks and skipping meals, I was late for almost everything and I was addicted to watching anime and tv series. My heart woke up with great fear one day and I started fixing my life…in the wrong way. I was at the beginning of the road with no management skills or self-understanding, I also had intrusive thoughts and repeated prayers and Wuduu, and I lacked concentration and energy and had bad moods because of my unhealthy lifestyle… so when I repented and tried to do everything at once it was too harsh for me and I was too far from good. Despite that, I was very strict and critical of myself. So when I wanted to read the Quran I read it without great emphasis on understanding much at the beginning, then I started getting stuck. I had put huge emphasis on understanding and kept re-reading the first two pages of the Baqarah and couldn’t go past them, until I made sure to know which group I belong to. I insisted that I am a hypocrite because 1) I didn’t pray all my prayers on time, 2) sometimes I got lazy, 3) I was late for everything and didn’t really keep promises…and that destroyed me back then. I think that this is the main reason why I can’t read the Quran today. I spent some time feeling great sadness and fear whenever I saw or heard Quran, and wanted to avoid it whenever that happened. Then I was able to become a bit more neutral toward the Quran, yet I am kind of sure that I can never give the Quran its right of understanding, nor can I read it because my life is still a bit of a mess. I still am addicted to staying up late (although I am trying to fix this), I also get addicted to a time-waster like a game or a tv series, it changes every time but something like this have to be present in my life, but I do try to spend more time on doing my assignments, which I had a hard time with because of my previous anxieties and lifestyle. I still carry a lot of bad habits and I view myself partially as undeserving of reading the Quran and unable to read the Quran and fix my life gradually at the same time. It is as if I have to make everything fit perfectly together.
I do not necessarily ask for a direct solution, but the way which I can find the solution.
I tried online therapy but I quitted because I always had the same fears and thoughts:
“I don’t have anything to tell the therapist in the next session”
“It is embarrassing”
“I shouldn’t get therapy, it feels as if I don’t even need it”
“Things will solve themselves with time, a therapist isn’t needed for this”
“All what I say is messed up and and unclear, I must’ve given them the wrong understanding”

Sometimes I just don’t understand myself. And I know that some areas of my life is getting worse with time.
I feel like I am getting further and further, and my heart gets harder.

Answer:

Question 5. Thinking About Leaving Islam

As-salumu Alaykum, hope you are doing alright. I am here mainly for one simple thing, which the question title shows. For context, I have left and joined Islam 2 times in the span of 2 months and now I am studying Christianity. However, I can’t ignore the budge to it again but I am scared. How do I know what religion is the truth for me? Cause whenever I was just about to leave Islam for both times, I kept getting these thoughts that I need to leave, and why should I even bother with Islam if it’s stopping me doing the things I love, but when I leave, I want to go back, and here I am now. I can’t say I ever fully left the Islamic thought process fully, but sometimes I wish I did. Why can’t I just pick a side? Sincerely,

Answer:

Question 6. Disobedience Towards My Parents


I‘m a 16 year-old girl and unfortunately, since my childhood, I have always been very aggressive and disrespectful to my mother and my father. A couple of months ago, I would always shout at my parents and insult them whenever they shouted at me for doing something wrong. When I was very angry and sad, I would even hit my mother with tool and she had a mark or try to curse my parents by making bad dua. My parents have always told me that it is a great sin to be disrespectful to parents but for some reason I just didn’t care until now, having read that it is a major sin to disobey one’s parents. Especially when my parents had arguments (and they often do, my father even used to hit my mother and make her cry and she would always curse him) I was really angry with my parents.

However, I have always loved my parents and they have never been really disappointed with me for a long time. They would always forgive me for being rude to them. S,o in general, we do have a great relationship and we laugh a lot and are really happy together. Now, since a couple of months I feel really bad and cursed by Allah, for I have a big health issue and I feel like or I do strongly believe that this is a punishment by God for disobeying my parents for years, insulting them, cursing them, even hitting them a couple of times.

And now I feel really bad and guilty and have already asked Allah as well as my parents for forgiveness and my parents say I have always been a very nice son, but I know that I should never have behaved like that. Lately, I have been really frustrated and felt like being abandoned by Allah, wherefore I even started to become angry with God. But I know this is another major sin.

Will Allah forgive me and cure my illness (even if it‘s theoretically uncurable) if my parents have forgiven me and if I keep asking Him for forgiveness? I feel very guilty and feel like having ruined my whole life just by being so rude to my parents and I regret it a lot. I try to do my best to respect my parents and stop being rude to them. Will the “curse” and punishment always last on me? I wish I had never insulted my parents this way, making Allah angry… I know Allah is very forgiving, but I think my sins were far too big to be forgiven.

Answer:

Question 7. How to Make My Wife Happy?

  1. I am a man who wants to be a househusband. Is it normal and acceptable for a man to want this.
  2. I want to please and make my wife happy. Can you please suggest to me any ideas that would make a woman happy.

Answer:

Question 8. Toxic Marriage: Staying for the Sale of the Kids?

Assalamualaikum,
I am in a big dilemma. I’m married with 3 kids since day 1 my husband is very abusive. He doesn’t respect me the problem with him is that he doesn’t value my presence he thinks if I’m not there for him or his kids that’s ok his mom will take care of the kids. He doesn’t appreciate or even says a good word I do all the work I’m asking him to respect and love me. Whenever he feels the need for physical intimacy, he sleeps inside the bedroom everyday he sleeps outside. Im fed up with this behavior because of the kids I am tolerating him. He has a very controlling behavior what should I do now my sabr is finished. Please guide me in the light of Allah. If I divorce him, he will not take the custody of the kids I’m struck in either ways. Please, guide

Answer:

Sunday, Oct. 30, 2022 | 10:00 - 11:00 GMT

Session is over.
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