Dear brothers and sisters,

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Check out the 7 questions our counselor just answered. Didn’t see yours? No worries! Join our next Q/A or resubmit your question for another chance to get advice. Stay tuned for more!

Question 1. Divorce

I have been married for 22 years. I have three children. Last year I started to work. And there I have established a friendship with a male colleague. 

We started texting and talking. I know it’s wrong but at that time I didn’t realize. His wife approached my husband. And I told him nothing.  Well he took my phone away, sighed into my phone, and he asked me to leave my house with my minor. And he started humiliating me all around my family and brothers. 

I went to my sister’s house. After three days of argument I tried to go home and he didn’t open the door. Few weeks later he served me with divorce 

My two other young children are trying to talk to me but they still have questions. Even though I tried explaining them, they are not ready to hear me out. 

Now I go through a lot of pain every day. I seek forgiveness from my heart to Allah swt. At this time only Allah swt is with me. 

My question is how do I deal with my young adult children, and since I tried to patch up with my husband he doesn’t want to, plus it’s been 2 months I’m out of the house. He’s not letting me go inside the house. 

When Allah forgives you, why don’t humans? 

Question 2. Health Anxiety

I have been going through health anxiety for about a few months now because my mum had a mini brain stroke and it also runs in my mum’s family side because 2/6 of my mum’s siblings had it, one mini and one the huge one. And my grandma and grandpa had it but my grandpa passed away from that as well, as did my auntie innah lillahi wah innah ilahi ragioon. Since the time it happened to my mum it has affected me thinking I will get it every pain I get in my body. I refer to that or other types of severe illnesses, and with health anxiety I’d also get physical pain. I just don’t know what to do with these thoughts. I wanna get rid of it. I’m so tired. I just don’t know if Allah is testing to bring me closer to him or what and how can I overcome the health anxiety because I can’t deal with it any more 🙁 

ANSWER

Question 3. Why is Allah not helping me with my difficulties?

I am a graduate and I have been living for a while alone, far away from my family. I am currently seeking employment and I have already applied to both low and high paying jobs so that I am financially independent to support myself. However, everyday I am receiving emails about rejection, leaving no option for me to ask for their feedback. I have tried everywhere: retails, supermarkets, schools, real estate agents, bars, restaurants, schools, career companies, hotels to universities! There has been no luck so far. Going back to my family isn’t an option due to complexities, and my mom doesn’t want me to come either. She wants me to stay here as I have got better opportunities to establish myself. Every rejection is making me feel lonely, depressed, anxious, stressed and overwhelmed. It makes me feel like a worthless being. I began hating myself. I get disgusted to see myself. I tell my mom everyday why can’t Allah just help me get a job? Just a job that will give me financial stability. My mom tells me to have patience and assures me that Allah Almighty will get me something good. I don’t believe Allah will ever get me good because I have an experience. After constant rejection from good universities, Allah gave me a bad university to study. The University was a racist one as one of the white staff members emailed me a toxic message, thereafter harassed and abused me very badly. The same staff member forced me to go to student support and wellbeing where I was even treated worse! After that, I have completely lost the ability to differentiate between good and bad, and they all instilled a sense of fear in me. My mom was furious upon hearing this, and she was adamant to face the Head of Student Support and Wellbeing. As you see how Allah gave and made me go through bad things. My Mom and a friend tell me that they don’t understand why I get into so much trouble. I am getting stressed and overwhelmed with life struggles. I am a bother to everyone! I hate my life as it is not worth living. Currently my mind is occupied with getting a job. I don’t even ask Allah for precious things. Please help me with my situation? I will appreciate your prompt response.

ANSWER

Question 4. Moving away from parents

Right now I am struggling with mental health.

My wife and mother don’t go along well.

Sometimes they are good and sometimes they are bad to each other

And when it’s bad I have to bear it from both sides.

It exhausts me every time.

Also for a few months my mother struggles to walk as she has arthritis.

But this doesn’t change anything. The fights are exhausting for me.

My father too is indecisive about the fights.

I am thinking of staying away from my parents . Is it a good decision?

ANSWER

Question 5. Help regarding Marriage as a Teenager

As a young woman in high school, I have been grappling with the desire to get married in order to avoid engaging in unlawful relationships, such as Zina. My struggles with hormones and the increasing difficulty in controlling them have brought me to this point. Additionally, feelings of loneliness have intensified my yearning for the comfort and care that I feel I cannot receive from friends or family. Despite discussing this with my mother, she has advised me to focus on completing my studies first. I am concerned about the high school environment and fear that I may succumb to temptations if I do not take action. I am not considering marriage lightly, but I am genuinely worried about my ability to maintain self-control until I graduate. If my mother agrees to consider this, I would like guidance on how to approach finding a spouse and where to begin the search.

ANSWER

Question 6. Sealed Heart/ Hard heart

A sister lost her faith due to sins and engaging too much into waswasa/acting upon it. Her heart started to reject the truth and a seal was placed on her heart. It then became so much worse for her, as her heart would harden and she started to behave heinous towards Allah swt. Kibr and hypocrisy started to spread throughout her entire heart that she’s now in a state unimaginable.

Her Symptoms now: No 6 pillars of Iman anymore, doesn’t get affected by the Quran, lectures, Allah’s beautiful names, her heart/nafs keep whispering awful and evil thoughts about others and the religion, she can’t comprehend things and has lost her memory. No emotions, no compassion, love, mercy, not able to feel humility, no empathy when seeing the world catastrophes, can’t think/ponder over death, feels tightness in her chest, not feeling anything when seeing Allah’s creation, the skies and animals. Nothing. Tried to make istighfar but there’s no Iman and no humility or remorse, it seems like she cannot escape this punishment, what should she do now?

How can she return back to Islam, is there still a chance for her?

ANSWER

Question 7. No concept of cheating

I’m really stressed because I have heard that in Islam, there’s no concept of cheating in marriage when it comes to men because they’re allowed to take another wife so it’s completely fine if someday my husband stops loving me and falls in love with another woman and gets married to her! How am I supposed to even feel about it?

ANSWER