Dear brothers and sisters,

Thanks for sharing your concerns with us.

Check out the 8 questions our counselor just answered. Didn’t see yours? No worries! Join our next session or resubmit your question for another chance to get advice. Stay tuned for more!

Question 1. Helplessness

I hope this finds you well. I am writing to seek advice for something which has been affecting me for quite a while now. I am feeling helpless about a particular situation which is to come in a few months. I am worried that if, Allah forbid, things do not go well, it would impact not only me but also others. Similar situations in the past, unfortunately, did not go in my favor. This has happened more than once despite my effort of trying to prevent things from going wrong. I am attempting to remain optimistic, to remain strong and to have faith in Allah, but this feeling of helplessness is consuming me as the situation approaches again. 

Question 2. I want to die due to my physical appearance

I am 17 yrs old boy who is quite ugly and I can’t even imagine in the slightest that a women will love or even marry me , I fear if she do she will cheat or smth or be unhappy , My Question is what do I do, I can’t get out of this state of inferiority complex, whatever I may do , thousand guy are better than me in all realms , Should I never marry but can’t control my sexual desires? Should I wish that I just die without ever marrying , 

ANSWER

Question 3. Fear of Death

I’m always thinking about death and always dream about dead people

How can I overcome these?

ANSWER

Question 4. Trouble with siblings

Asalaam walaikum, I am 25, the oldest of four siblings and a single father. Growing up we did not have our mother due to cancer, so it was very hard for us. My 1st brother is always fighting and arguing with my dad, even pushing him and throwing stuff at him. He has taken money from us and even lied about it. He does not listen when we tell him to stop smoking and hanging out with bad influences. My dad has called the cops on him threatening to kick him out recently. We want what’s best for him so he can find work and help us all with the house expenses and live a healthy life. I am afraid of what might happen to him and our family in the future.

ANSWER

Question 5. Images in My Mind

Asalamu alaikum, so I’m really distressed and confused. So a few months ago I realized that our imaan cannot stay the same. It goes up and down and I didn’t know that so I got all stressed and stuff. Because I was getting closer to Allah and after my period finished I felt so down. So I panicked, I had this severe anxiety out of nowhere. Then I tried to understand what more it could be so I found out about waswasa and OCD and that not all the thoughts are our own. So then I tried to figure out which were mine and which were not, it was kinda difficult and still is because it’s always the ‘what if it’s actually me’, so I keep worrying. I had so many thoughts and doubts and I would rather die than believe in them. What’s been really confusing me and killing me is that I couldn’t connect with Allah in prayer, like I didn’t feel Allah’s presence. 

So once again I started panicking because I found out that as a Muslim you should have khushu in prayer. So what I stupidly and unknowingly did was I imagined an image of someone smiling at me and astaghfirullah thinking it was Allah so that made me astaghfirullah feel comfortable and connected in prayer and then after that I realized I also developed an evil image in my head when I thought of the anger or displeasure of Allah. So when I found out that we couldn’t imagine Allah and that it is major shirk I got even more stressed so I just can’t get rid of these images so I started imagining the name of Allah, but guess what that didn’t feel comfortable either. 

So I searched up what I should actually do and that is to not imagine anything but to just pray with the thought that Allah is watching me. Easy right? Well not at all, because guess who’s here to ruin me? Shaytaan. Whenever I pray I get these images over and over again, do I want to get rid of them? YES PLEASE, will they just disappear, no not at all. So I found out that I should just ignore these images and know that they cannot and will never be Allah, I should not believe in it and I should know that this is wrong. Which I do. I know it’s wrong, Allah is greater than what my stupid mind imagines. We don’t know what Allah looks like, Allah is unseen and we as Muslims have to believe in the unseen. But now I’m stuck with these images 24/7 when I want to relax and tell myself these are not your thoughts you don’t believe in them then I feel comfortable but then when I feel comfortable that smiling image pops up and I get the thought that I accept that stupid image as being Allah, astaghfirullah. But then when I think of being punished, that stupid angry image pops up. I know I shouldn’t believe in it but something in me is doubting that I actually believe in those stupid images. When I don’t think of the images, the name Allah pops up and then I get the thoughts that I believe in the writing of the name of Allah astaghfirullah. I’m literally going crazy and I can’t connect with Allah. This stupid shaytan tells me how you can connect to something unseen ASTAGHFIRULLAH. Please help me, please advise me IM BEGGING FOR HELP. I can’t die like this, I don’t want to disappoint Allah, I want to love Allah, I want to connect to Allah, I want to trust Allah, please I don’t know what to do. 

ANSWER

Question 6. Drug Addict Husband

As salaamu alaikum, I have been married to my husband for years, he did not tell me he is a drug addict before we got married. I fell pregnant in the 1st year of marriage and in this time I found him watching porn and speaking to prostitutes. He has physically abused me and also emotionally and financially. I get called useless and also insulted, astagfirrulah. I now have 4 kids and he is still on drugs, he’s always moody and one minute he’s happy and the next he’s upset. He takes the drugs in the house while the kids and I are asleep, he gets caught every month and also starts saying he’s done with the drugs but lies. I’m so exhausted I can’t take it anymore. It’s my second marriage and I tried. His parents also can’t come right with him. I dont want his sins to fall on my children. He doesn’t want to get help and he’s manipulative. About 3 months ago I caught him messaging another woman and telling her how beautiful she is. My mental health is finished. I’ve gained weight and my health is getting worse from stress. I want to leave. Please advise me!

ANSWER

Question 7. Distance from parents

I just wanted clarification on this matter. Is having a distant relationship with my parents wrong in Islam? Is it alright for me to emotionally disconnect from them, as long as I carry out my obligations as their daughter and treat them with kindness?

I am not saying that I don’t love them. Of-course I do. I am grateful to Allah for blessing me with them.

I love them, they have done so much and sacrificed so much for me, but I don’t trust them with my affairs. I have been hurt too many times by them in the past, and of course, no one is perfect. People make mistakes.

Unfortunately, my parents haven’t learnt from theirs and continue to repeat them.

I don’t think I can bear it any longer. May Allah grant me strength. I have been getting more angry at some of their statements and it takes a lot of effort to not burst out at them.

I don’t want to risk my Akhirah in any way. I have sinned far too many times. I can’t afford to commit any more. I, unfortunately, hold a lot of bitterness for a lot of things they have done. Again, i am aware, this is wrong. I have forgiven them, but I can’t seem to get rid of this bitterness that clings to me so tightly.

I am tired, to be very honest. And I think that the only way left to avoid committing a major sin is to unplug my emotional connection with them.I don’t want to depend on them for anything, anymore.

They can of-course always come to me for their problems. Always. But I don’t want to come to them for mine.

Is this permissible in Islam?

ANSWER

Question 8. Becoming a Muslim female being a man

I’ve always wanted to convert to Islam but I really want to do it as a female.

ANSWER