As salamu alaykum sister,

 

Shokran for writing to our live session.  As I understand, you have someone you wish to marry and you have known him for 8 years.  Alhamdulillah sister, congratulations on your upcoming marriage insha’Allah!

 

While this should be a happiest and joyous event, there are a few problems as you stated. First, your family was not going to accept him as his parents are separated and his father has lost touch.  How this affects this young man’s practice of Islam and his suitability as a spouse is unknown to me and it is possibly a sign of cultural preferences and traditions rather than Islamic ones as we all stand in front of Allah alone.  With that said I am happy dear sister to hear your family is finally applying true Islamic principles and values when it comes to situations such as your marriage.

 

In regards to his mom having a travel ban, did she say how long it might be?  While there seems to be much confusion around your marrying this man, if you both truly want to marry then you should insha’Allah wait until his mom is able to come.  If it is an unknown or if it is very long, I would kindly suggest that you both get married now and have a walimah when she gets here so she may be part of the festivities.  If possible, you can skype her in for the wedding.  While this, of course, is not optimal, it would provide marriage for you both and Islamically, we are to not put off marriage.  Another option would be for you and your family and your fiance to fly to Kuwait and marry however I do not know the financial implications of this or if it is even a possibility. However as his mom has been saying she is coming month after month for over a year and a half, something does not sound right. I am not familiar with the laws in Kuwait but a travel ban this long does not sound right.  I am not sure if it has to do with the separation from her husband-though I cannot see why there would be one or it could be something else.  A year and a half is a long time to be under a ban.

 

I would kindly suggest dear sister that you sit down with your fiance, your parents, and his mom and discuss these options. Please do insha’Allah bring Islamic proofs as to why delaying a marriage is not good nor recommended.  Lastly and most importantly, seek Allah’s guidance in this matter through prayer, duaa, and istakharra prayer.  Perhaps this is a test from Allah in regards to sabr (patience), or perhaps it is time for you both to more actively pursuing your married life regardless of who objects or who can attend.  While this is meant as no disrespect to your parents, as much honor and due respect are accorded to them, it is sometimes a wake-up call for those who seek marriage but find familial obstacles such as you are experiencing. Often times families will go back and forth on dates, details, availability and so on, while the couple who wish to be married, wait and wait till it is sorted out.  This can years! Also, waiting until everyone else figures out what is best for them can lead to despair for the couple, as you are going through now.  Sister, please do insha’Allah seek Allah’s guidance through prayer, talk with your fiance and both your parents about possible solutions.  If none can be found the sister and this man is halal for you and will make a good Islamic husband, I kindly suggest that you do not delay your marriage.  It is, after all,  your lives, and your right to marry.  We wish you the best.