As salamu alaykum dear sister,
I am sorry to hear of your marriage falling apart. It is such a hurtful event and can be difficult to get over. You need time to gather your thoughts, grieve if needed, begin to heal and let go, and look to a brighter future. I would kindly suggest not being too hard on yourself. As women we often try to find fault in only ourselves, or think we did not try hard enough. Often times a marriage may not work because two people were not suitable for each other. While it may have been better had he agreed to go for marriage counseling, the fact is, he did not. Insha’Allah, you can begin to focus on yourself, what makes you happy, what you hope to do and achieve in this life. It can also be a time for drawing closer to Allah SWT through prayer, Islamic study and dhzikr. Allah is most merciful.
I suggest dear sister that you start a journal and write down your positive qualities daily, along with your aspirations, abilities, hopes and dreams. Every week, set a goal that you will complete insha’Allah such as going for a walk in nature, going to a gym, having lunch with a friend, helping someone in need and so on. The litle things in life can bring joy as well as opportunity. As your being without your husband is new, it may take some time before you really adjust and figure out what you would like to do with your life. However, your options are vast! Be open to change and good things. Reflect on your journal of positive things to help keep you from depression. Sleeping on the floor next to your beloved mom will not last forever, and one day you will look back insha’Allah and wish for these intimate times with your mom. While it is unsettling to see your things in bags and suitcases in your sisters living room, it won’t be forever and alhumdulilah you have a safe home to go to. Many women do not. Try to use this time dear sister to find what it is you would like to do with your life as well as set a criteria for what you believe a loving marriage to be. It sounds as if you were not in one, and for the future, it is important that you learn the traits and qualities of a potential loving husband. There are many good articles on AboutIslam which I recommend you read. Not only are they enjoyable and informative, but they will help you in the future when you are ready to marry again insha’Allah. We wish you the best, you are in our prayers, please let us know how you are doing.