Salam,

 

Thank you for writing to our live session. As I understand your question, during your classes you met a girl who is Muslim. You state that you fell in love with her, which indicates you found her to be a nice person with good qualities. You both spoke about Islam and she taught you some things which you found to be interesting. This inspired you to do more research about Islam. The question brother, is that in your research of Islam, do you find it to be in your heart as a truth and way of life for you? Or do you want to accept Islam just to marry this girl?

Truly Muslim

 

I will kindly suggest that you do some deep searching within yourself, in your heart to determine if Islam is truly the path that you feel is right for your life. If it is, then that is a great blessing indeed. Allah chooses who He will. If this is not the case and you are just interested in Islam because you want to marry this girl when I kindly suggest you do not pursue her any further. To do so, would be wanting to marry her under a false pretense. If you tell her that you will accept Islam, she will be expecting a husband who is Muslim and who lives and conducts his life in an Islamic way. If Islam is not in your heart brother this would be very hard for you to do and it would bring  pain and hardship to not only your wife, but to the marriage. It would be a marriage based on a lie.  More seriously, a lie to Allah swt.

 

If you truly feel that Islam is the right path and the only path for you, and you seek to please Allah and you love Him- then by all means do pursue this girl. I would also kindly suggest that you start going to a Masjid in your area and take shahada, learn your prayers, and gain more knowledge about Islam. Seek out brothers in the Masjid who will be uplifting, and who will be happy to help you learn about Islam. You will be starting a new way of life brother, a most blessed one indeed and you will need encouragement and supports in place.

 

Permissible for Marriage

Regarding what the girl stated about not being able to love you, what she may mean is that in Islam we do not get to know each other intimately and fall in love. While we are allowed to get to know each one another in a protected way, dating, being alone together, touching, kissing, all of these things is forbidden- haram. We are allowed to get to know one another for purposes of marriage however a parent, friend, third party is to be present. Also what she may have meant, was that you are not Muslim therefore she cannot love you- meaning marry you. This is true, a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man. However, if you do truly accept Islam as your way of life and you seek to become Muslim by taking shahada and following the path of Islamic principles, you will be permissible for her meaning she can marry you.  However it must be sincere.  I must caution you on being sincere about your intent to be Muslim, as it is very serious and your reasons need to be pure. If this is indeed the case, please do start attending the Masjid; speak with an imam, and take shahada.

 

For Allah’s Sake Alone

Insha’Allah, if you are doing all these things for the sake of Allah alone, Allah will bless you. It could be that this girl is to be your wife, or it could be that Allah has someone else for you. Allah knows best. However as the two of you may have formed mutual feelings and you do want to marry, Allah may make it easy.   Insha’Allah, by taking sincere actions towards becoming a Muslim will help this girl see that you are truly serious about dedicating your life to Allah. If it is so ordained, she will be compelled to marry you. If she does not, please do remember brother that the best blessing that has come out of this, is your finding Islam and becoming a Muslim. We wish you the best