Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,
This most certainly is a very difficult decision. These are 3 incredibly different routes to take with totally different consequences in terms of your own satisfaction and needs, future career options, you parents satisfaction and most importantly, your Deen. You have approached the situation in the best was by considering the pros and cons of each option as well as taking the matter to Allah for His guidance, who is the best to guide on any matter, especially important life changing one’s like this. However, as yet you have not received any further clarity in which route to take and remain confused about where to go from here.
The first thing to advise is that you should keep up with turning to Allah with the matter and have complete trust that He will guide you to what is best. As you do this there are other steps you can be taking to try and make things clearer for yourself in which choice to make.
You spoke about how you anticipate your parents would respond to your choices and which ones you think they would be pleased with and not. This shows that you clearly respect their own input on your decision. However, it seems you are only speculating how they will respond without actually finding out from them yourself. It is clear that you respect their own opinions so why jot take it to them to get their opinions on the matter. Often when considering these things it is useful to get the opinions of loved ones who know us well because it’s easy to overlook things that others can hig3for us. That can change things dramatically. You may also find that they would completely support you moving so far away if they knew it was something that would be good for you and something that you want. Whilst parents are saddened when their children leave, especially to go so far, Tey also want what’s best for their child. Perhaps you will find this to be the case for you and if so then it might make the option to move to Malaysia even more appealing than ever because the main barrier would have been removed.
Whilst you don’t have to do something only to please them, it is ideal if they support your decision for the sake of relations with them and the continued support they will give you when you need it. You must also consider what will make you happy too, even if it means making some compromises and doing something that they might not be so happy with.
Most importantly however, you should pay attention to which option would be most pleasing to Allah because what is pleasing to Allah will be good for you in all respects and what is not can only lead to negative consequences either in this life, the next or both. If Allah is pleased and you are pleased with your choice for the sake of pleasing Him, then you will be content with whatever choice you take and everything will fall into place.
As you consider your options also keep in mind that once you start things will change throughout your life as a student. You will make new friends and different opportunities will come along. Things you never anticipated so try to avoid thinking too far ahead and being to rigid in such thoughts, such as if you take a certain path then there will be no opportunity to go into such and such a career or you won’t earn sufficient money in a different career as Allah can put anyone on your path or place an opportunity in your way that will bring you good in a choice you make that you never anticipated if you are doing it foHis sake. He can place success on a path that you didn’t expect through a means in which you didn’t expect.
Give yourself time to continue thinking about these options and don’t rush yourself. Remaining calm will place you more favourably to make a better, more rational decision. As well as asking your parents for their thoughts, ask other close friends too. Friends who know you and what you like and what you are good at will be in a good place to give advice that is less emotionally dependent than yours and your parents judgements on the matter.
With all these considerations over a period of time, in sha Allah your thoughts will become more clear. This will be the time when istikhara will be most needed. Make your decision and go for it. If it is meant for you then Allah won’t let it pass and if it is not, then Allah will place obstacles in your way to push you away from it.
May Allah guide you to make the decision that is best for you and most pleasing to Him. May He bring you happiness and contentment in whatever choice you make for His sake.
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.