Question 3

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,

 

To face a challenge ourselves is always difficult, but when our children go through difficulties it is even more difficult. What you are going through is most certainly a test from Allah and you are doing the best thing in turning to Allah with your struggle.

 

However, now you are feeling frustrated that it seems even though you are taking your problem to Allah over and over and He has said that He will answer the prayer of a mother, your son still has health issues. It might seem that Allah is not listening to you, but you need to trust that He is. Allah hears all things so He certainly has heard you plees for your sons health.

 

You must remember that Allah answers prayers at the perfect time. Maybe that will be tomorrow, or maybe it will not be until the Hereafter. Understand that the test that you are facing comes with much wisdom. In the midst of these difficulties it can be difficult to see but if you can take a step back you will be able to see the blessings in a seemingly hopeless scenario. For a start, even though you are frustrated that it seems you duas have not been answered, it has been an event that has pushed you to turn to Allah. If things had gone well and you had a healthy baby with no health problems you may have turned away from Allah as there always nothing in particular to draw you to him to cause you to make du’a and ask him for something. That in itself is a blessing. Beyond this, tests are a means of expiation of sins.

 

So, even though you are not the one with the health condition, as his mum you do need to deal with the consequences which is all part of the test for you as much as for him. The compensation for such bein that of expiation of sins. SubhanAllah. And, even beyond this, if we look to the great people before us who faced even greater tests in their health and well-being, yet they were the best of people. People who will be rewarded with the highest status in the Hereafter. So you can see that Allah only tests the best of people and the greater the test, the bigger the reward. So, with this in mind you can see things from a more positive perspective in understanding the wisdom behind what you are facing and why it might seem like Allah is not answering you du’a. He is listening and maybe He will answer now, or maybe later and maybe in ways that you never even imagined.

 

As you face these difficulties it is important to look after yourself too. In difficult times it’s easy to lose this so make sure to do the things you enjoy doing and be with people who will be able to support you and give you the boost that you need in order to better deal with these challenges. You could also look for groups for other parents who have a child with the same condition. There maybe a group locally, or if not you will likely find one online. Or if not, at least for parents of children with other congenital disorders. You will be able to get support and advice from others going through the same. You will also see that there are other families out there suffering with even more debilitating conditions too. You will be able to share difficulties you are facing and also see novel ways that others manage such difficulties as well as just having a space to go to share any difficult feelings you may be having with others who are or have already been through the same emotions. The feeling of not being alone can be incredibly helpful in moving forward with confidence.

 

May Allah grant your son good health and may He make the situation a rewarding one for you. May you find continued comfort in the remembrance of Him.

Thursday, Jan. 01, 1970 | 00:00 - 00:00 GMT

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